Finding Peace Within
"You're daddy is your protector. He's someone you can always run to when you need a hug," says Kami, 33. "But he was never there," she says of her own father. "Tired of the pain," she wrote him a letter to dissolve their relationship.
When she realized that there was more pain in knowing that her father was completely out of her life, Kami tried to make amends. But he didn't respond to her second letter.
"No matter how many men I try to shove in there, I'm still yearning for that one person that I feel should have given it to me," she says. "I have gone so far to seek acceptance," she says, recognizing that three breast jobs she's had, totaling about $20,000, were not the answer.
She asks Dr. Phil: "How do I resolve the issues with my father when he's no longer a part of my life?"
Dr. Phil says that Kami is asking the wrong question if she's looking to find a way to get her father back. Instead, the question she should be asking is how she can find peace within herself, or how she can give herself what she wishes she were getting from her dad.
"Quit looking externally," he advises. "Happiness, peace, a sense of well-being and self-worth come from the inside out. It doesn't come from the outside in."
Though Kami says she's proud of who she is and what she's accomplished, there's a piece of her that wants the validation from her father.
"If that doesn't come, don't you need to be willing to give that to yourself?" asks Dr. Phil, elaborating on how to do just that.