Are You a Commitment-Phobe?
Whether it's you or your partner who's having commitment issues, Dr. Phil suggests you consider the following.
What are your filters? If you look at the world with fear, then even when you really want something, you're too afraid to go after it. Let love not fear control your life.
What are your "tapes" about marriage? If you were dumped by a fiancé, for example, that may be playing a role in how you now view marriage. Did your parents have a bitter divorce? Consider how you can do things differently.
Assess the risk/reward ratio. Are you gambling a lot to get a little? You may have some risk if a relationship moves forward, but the rewards can be huge in terms of marriage, family, kids and togetherness.
What went wrong with your previous relationships Do a relationship autopsy to learn from it.
If you go outside the wall that you've built around yourself, you can get hurt. But behind the wall there's still pain it's just a different kind. Imagine how nice it would be to have a soft place to fall.
Stop complaining and start asking specifically for what you want.
Do you really want to marry someone if you have to convince him/her to do it? The divorce rate is already above 50 percent and that's for people who WANT to get married.
Find a plan that meets the needs of the two people involved. If one person needs the symbolism of marriage, and the other needs freedom, it can still work!
#1 reason why men don't commit: It's easier than ever to get sex without marriage! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
#1 reason why women don't commit: They no longer need men to support them.