Messages By: irishmom

Well, the good news is that a week into it, I have lost 6.5 pounds.  Last week I weighed 259 and I now weigh 252.5.  The problem is that my body fat percentage WAS 50% but is now 52%!  So, somehow I've lost muscle even though I've lost weight.  I'm not sure if this is normal or if I should be concerned.  I feel good that I am reaching my goals thus far though. 


I also decided to go back to school to finish my undergraduate degree.  I will be doing this online though so I can still stay at home with my children.  I start next month.  This is something I have wanted to do for awhile but my husband had given me the impression for the last year and a half that he didn't want me to, even though that is what he agreed to when we got married.  So, I just "bit the bullet" so to speak and applied and got everything in place, and then told him what was going on.  He seems supportive but worried that I may have too much on my plate with taking classes, home schooling, and having a new baby.  What he seems to forget is that before I met him, I was a single mother of two then (I have three now) attending school full time and working part time while taking care of my children on my own with no support physically, financially, or otherwise from anyone.  So, this won't be quite as hard.  (I don't believe).  I just need to retrain myself.  My mom always says I try to do too much, but sometimes you have to!  There's so much to do and so little time to do it in.  Life is short and I plan to accomplish as much as possible in that short amount of time.  As long as it doesn't interfere with my family, I think it should be fine.  

 Whew!  It took me awhile to read this chapter.  Life gets so busy sometimes.  There was a lot to this chapter.  I'm just going to recap some of my answers.

My weight locus of control: 

I scored an 18 on Internal, a 13 on External, and a 10 on Chance. 

My internal Dialogue Audit:


Your appearance:  I have a pretty face but overall think I'm unattractive.  I hate my ears and my smile.

Your body shape:  I'm fat and unattractive.

Your ability to manage weight:  I can't lose weight or maintain it.

Your exercise level:  I hate exercising because I tire quickly.

Your self-control:  I have little self-control

Your general health:  Technically I am healthy (i.e no health problems such as high cholesterol or anything) but I know I won't be if I don't make some changes in my life. 

The "all or nothing" thinking was SO like me!  I do that all the time.  I will screw up and eat a little of something I knew I shouldn't have and so I figure I might as well keep on eating because I've already messed up.  "I'll start tomorrow" I'll say.  Then tomorrow usually follows the same pattern.  I don't know why sometimes I have a hard time putting down food.  There are times when I will be eating and be thinking to myself (while I'm eating!) that I know I need to stop eating.  For some reason though, I don't! 

SO, I'm going to weigh myself every Sunday morning.  I weighed myself this past Sunday so this is my starting point. 

Weight: 259 pounds

Body fat percentage: 50%

Yikes!  That's bad.  Well, I'm not doing as well as I know I can do, but I will try harder tomorrow.  Right now it's a little more difficult because we are strapped financially right now and can't go out to buy the food I need, so I have to deal with what we have for now.  I believe I can make the most of it if I watch my portion sizes.  In a couple of weeks, I will buy only those things that will benefit my health for the better. 

OK, I couldn't help but put this picture of my little bunny up here.  I thought this picture turned out pretty cute.  My three girls will give me inspiration to keep my head up high and lose the weight that I was happy to gain carrying each of them for 9 months.  This is Maleah Grace, born May 20, 2005. :-)

 I was able to read chapters 2 and 3 today, only because my husband stayed home from work today.  I have made some specific weight loss goals.  In a way it seems impossible, but once I broke it down, it started to seem like it may be achievable after all.  I spoke with my husband about my current eating habits.  Dr. Phil says in his book that we must have someone to check in with about our progress.  Since my husband is really the only person I know here, I guess it will be him.  He still insists that I don't over eat.  I don't see how he can say that when I weigh twice as much as he does; literally!  He's trying to say it's my metabolism.  I don't care what he says, you can't weigh 260 pounds if you're not over eating.  I need to be strong and listen to myself and not to him in this situation because it may get easy to make myself believe him and that will end up being self-destructive for me and what I'm trying to accomplish. 

The goals I set out are as follows:

I will lose 120 pounds in 20 months.  That breaks down to 6 pounds a month, 1 1/2 pounds a week.  I realize that some months I may lose more and some months I may lose less.  I will plan this out in more detail on a calendar. 

At the end of two years, I will weigh 135 pounds and maintain that weight.  This is the middle number of the low-middle-high ratio on the weight chart outlined in the book. 

I will walk with the dog for 30 minutes every night after the children are in bed. 

I will also work out twice a week (more if I feel up to it, but Dr. Phil wants realistic expectations so I figured I could sacrifice that much) with a Denise Austin workout tape.  I read in one of the previous chapters that Dr.Phil will outline some exercises later in the book, so I will do those once I get to that point. 

I will reduce junk food to no more than one SERVING per day.  This means if I want chips and a serving size is 6 chips, that is what I will eat and nothing more.  Since we're being realistic, I thought I should start out slow...I think totally eliminating junk food all together from my diet will backfire in the long run because I will crave it more. 

I will positively manage stress in my life.  I'm not quite sure how to do this yet, but I have faith that Dr. Phil will outline some thoughts in later chapters.