Messages By: imawakenow

so i guess i was not as excited about the book as i thought. i realized yesterday that i stopped at key 3 - no fail envirnment. i guess i dont want to deal with my biggest problem. i hate living as home with my dad. not because of him but because there are two other people living here that keep eating my food. i wouldnt mind this if they were contributing to the household. but they are just pathetic.

i am so excited. this morning the ultimate weight solution book came in the mail. i have been waiting for it patiently for the last couple days since i ordered it from amazon.com. i was on my way to the gym as i opened the door to see the package and althought i wanted to rip it open and start reading it right then, i decided to go to the gym first. the weather was horrible today so i took my time getting there i worked out for 45 minutes and come home. as i got out of my car my mom was driving by...(yeah that like never happens) she was dropping my neice off at my dads house (they are divorced) she asked if i wanted to go with her to lunch. i politely said i had other things to do this afternoon and the weather was horrible i didnt want to bo out driving around and neither should she. i decided i was going to start a nice bath and begin to read my new book. i got pretty far thru it before i got paranoid that i would drop the book in the water so i got out. dressed and did my hair. which lately is a task all of its own. the past few months have been very good. but going from completely horrible to very good was very hard. so reading this book gave me some more hope. even after the first couple pages. since the weather was bad and i couldnt go out and do anything and the last time i wanted to do was sit on the computer all night. i continued to read. with my away message as "reading....yes i repeat "reading" lol" while i was reading i had the opurtunity to put things in order. and writing it down really helps. i realized that the last year that i was thought was completely horrible really should not have been that bad. but i used moving home with dad, an abortion, and a break up as an excuse to not eat healthy. the year before i lost 20 lbs in 2 months when i moved to my own apartment and broke up with my horrible horrible ex. but i didnt stick with it when i moved home and gained even more back. i refused to let myself go over 200. i remember in June 2004 my doctor told me. the anti-depressants arent going to make you lose weight. YOU have to want to lose it. i wish it would have clicked in June. but its clicked now. i have my goals set and my priorities in order. and i look forward to contining to read the book instead of spending endless hours on the internet doing nothing but moving my fingers around. they dont need a work out I DO