Replies to '06/03 Virtual Chaos'
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October 19, 2008, 1:06 am PDT
 Quote From: sherylday OK, I am really getting tired of the MMO bashing. For you that don't know...that's MMORPG..Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.
I am almost 47. My husband is 25. We met and married in Everquest. We then met and married IRL over 4 years ago.
Sure, if you don't have any discipline it can get out of hand, like eating, drug abuse, or anything else...collecting things...I am sure if it exists there is someone out there addicted to it.
When I asked God to put someone in my life, I told him the only stipulation was THEY HAD TO PLAY THE GAME. We both still play the game, and we are very happy together.
I have heard the story about the guy who shot himself, and his mother found him with a room full of pizza boxes and an EQ loading screen...that guy's issues had nothing to do with Everquest. He had a garbage life and used EQ to run away...not the fault of the game..
There is a guy who plays WOW who has 36 accounts....so he can raid and play by himself, and does not have to socialize.. There is a thread on the bulletin board to the server I am on currently discussing whether or not he is the worlds biggest loser...serious gamers...calling this guy a loser...to each his own I say.
The woman you mentioned...Wendy...is the smart one. Any man who plays an MMO who does not have 2 computers and an extra account for their love interest is looking for trouble.
Yes, when I log in I am going to be in for a minimum of 6 hours, and I usually do 12, but I can be in the game, and my husband come home from work...nothing be done, supper not on yet, and I can look at him and say Baby! I leveled!...And he will say..YAY!!!!..Then he will shower, I will cook, we eat, and he goes and logs into his account. We play together a lot.
If your life is not compatible with the game you are playing, get another game. If your game is not compatible with your relationship, get your SO an account.
Either way, get responsible for your own life, and quit blaming the game.
Sheryl
(Yeah...I'd call that guy with 36 accounts a bit of a loser...at least you can socialize on MMORPG's)
I think that the issue being discussed on the show is different than what you are saying. You and your husband are happy, and your lives aren't being badly effected by the game. That's good. If you two are happy with the way things are, I see no reason to change.
However, the people on this show are being negatively effected by it. Like the man who is now $24,000 in debt because of spending money to maintain his account. Or the person who spends 80 hours a week playing the game, just sitting there and doing nothing else, ignoring family and other responsibilities outside of the game.
The issue is about people who get so wrapped up in the game that they forget that all it is is just a game. I'm not sure if you have heard of this, but another example would be a boy who played World of Warcraft, and his character fell into the bottomless pit (for those who don't know, the bottomless pit is a pit in the game that really is bottomless. You fall and fall and fall, and there is no way out. You can't do anything if you fall into this pit) and he killed himself because he basically lost all his stats and everything.
Sometimes I've noticed that my boyfriend neglects his real life when he gets wrapped up in Ragnarok. One time I said I wanted him to come with me to the mall to show him something he and I would both like. He agreed, but when I was ready to go, purse in hand, he said he wasn't going to go because it was double experience week. Another time I asked him to watch Family Guy with me, and he said "Sure, I'll be right there." He wasn't "right there" until an hour later when the show was already over. His reason? His guild leader signed on and asked him if he wanted to join in questing.
See? These situations are more serious than yours, considering you and your husband don't seem to have any problems, nor are you ignoring things in real life. Your husband works, he doesn't blow off his job for the game. You two still have dinner together and interact with eachother on a positive way. But there are situations in which yes, MMORPG's can have negative effects. The game itself is not being cut down, the addiction and what comes of it is. |
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October 19, 2008, 6:48 am PDT
Quote From: sherylday OK, I am really getting tired of the MMO bashing. For you that don't know...that's MMORPG..Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.
I am almost 47. My husband is 25. We met and married in Everquest. We then met and married IRL over 4 years ago.
Sure, if you don't have any discipline it can get out of hand, like eating, drug abuse, or anything else...collecting things...I am sure if it exists there is someone out there addicted to it.
When I asked God to put someone in my life, I told him the only stipulation was THEY HAD TO PLAY THE GAME. We both still play the game, and we are very happy together.
I have heard the story about the guy who shot himself, and his mother found him with a room full of pizza boxes and an EQ loading screen...that guy's issues had nothing to do with Everquest. He had a garbage life and used EQ to run away...not the fault of the game..
There is a guy who plays WOW who has 36 accounts....so he can raid and play by himself, and does not have to socialize.. There is a thread on the bulletin board to the server I am on currently discussing whether or not he is the worlds biggest loser...serious gamers...calling this guy a loser...to each his own I say.
The woman you mentioned...Wendy...is the smart one. Any man who plays an MMO who does not have 2 computers and an extra account for their love interest is looking for trouble.
Yes, when I log in I am going to be in for a minimum of 6 hours, and I usually do 12, but I can be in the game, and my husband come home from work...nothing be done, supper not on yet, and I can look at him and say Baby! I leveled!...And he will say..YAY!!!!..Then he will shower, I will cook, we eat, and he goes and logs into his account. We play together a lot.
If your life is not compatible with the game you are playing, get another game. If your game is not compatible with your relationship, get your SO an account.
Either way, get responsible for your own life, and quit blaming the game.
Sheryl
Sheryl, I am glad that you and your husband are so happy together, with both of you playing Everquest so much. However, that is not the case for many other couples, especially when only one of them wants to play so much and the other one feels completely neglected. Also, the person who plays so much may often not eat properly and otherwise take proper care of themselves (e.g., showering every once in a while). It is even worse when there is children involved who may also feel neglected and unloved, including sometimes even not being fed or clothed properly, as well as being yelled at or even struck when they interrupt the gamer's playing. Also, for young children, the lack of proper supervision can potentially result in dangerous situations such as them wandering out of the house to become injured or even killed.
As for "the guy who shot himself", I assume that you are referring to Shawn Woolley. You also say, "that guy's issues had nothing to do with Everquest". How do you know that? Did you ever meet him or otherwise get to know him in any way? Were you psychic and able to read his mind? If you are interested and want to get to know a bit more about his situation before being so judgmental, I suggest that you read, if you have not yet done so, the Wikipedia entry for him at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shawn_Woolley and some of the associated references.
You also say, "quit blaming the game". I, at least, don't blame the game for my problems. Most of the people who I know with a gaming addiction problem, mostly from what I have read on the OLGA website, also do not blame the game for their problems. It is like alcoholics blaming alcohol for their addiction. To me, the issue is not to assign blame but rather to recognize that there is a problem, but only for those with a problem, and then to do something about it.
I don't know anything more about you than what you wrote in your post, but I have found that most people (including myself) tend to lash out at other people mostly when they are not happy about something similar in their own lives. As such, I am wondering if you are trying to defend your own lifestyle, when nobody here is actually attacking it, because it is not quite as happy and satisfying that you make it out to be? Once again, however, I am just asking and not trying to judge you and your husband. If you both are truly happy with your life now, then I am also happy for the both of you. However, if there are some problems, I hope that you both will admit that and try to address them, including if it means reducing or even completely stopping your playing. Regardless, I wish you both a long and happy life together. |
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October 19, 2008, 7:07 am PDT
Quote From: sherylday OK, I am really getting tired of the MMO bashing. For you that don't know...that's MMORPG..Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.
I am almost 47. My husband is 25. We met and married in Everquest. We then met and married IRL over 4 years ago.
Sure, if you don't have any discipline it can get out of hand, like eating, drug abuse, or anything else...collecting things...I am sure if it exists there is someone out there addicted to it.
When I asked God to put someone in my life, I told him the only stipulation was THEY HAD TO PLAY THE GAME. We both still play the game, and we are very happy together.
I have heard the story about the guy who shot himself, and his mother found him with a room full of pizza boxes and an EQ loading screen...that guy's issues had nothing to do with Everquest. He had a garbage life and used EQ to run away...not the fault of the game..
There is a guy who plays WOW who has 36 accounts....so he can raid and play by himself, and does not have to socialize.. There is a thread on the bulletin board to the server I am on currently discussing whether or not he is the worlds biggest loser...serious gamers...calling this guy a loser...to each his own I say.
The woman you mentioned...Wendy...is the smart one. Any man who plays an MMO who does not have 2 computers and an extra account for their love interest is looking for trouble.
Yes, when I log in I am going to be in for a minimum of 6 hours, and I usually do 12, but I can be in the game, and my husband come home from work...nothing be done, supper not on yet, and I can look at him and say Baby! I leveled!...And he will say..YAY!!!!..Then he will shower, I will cook, we eat, and he goes and logs into his account. We play together a lot.
If your life is not compatible with the game you are playing, get another game. If your game is not compatible with your relationship, get your SO an account.
Either way, get responsible for your own life, and quit blaming the game.
Sheryl
Just because you and your husband share the same addiction does not mean there isnt a problem. Noone is saying there is anything wrong with playing any form of online games.However there is such a thing as moderation. Just like some people can have a drink and not become an alcoholic, others can not. Stop sugar coating peoples addictions and saying we are judging you because were not. How dare you claim to know anything about the man who killed himself. I assume since you spend your life on a game you are not a psychiatrist. Wake up Sheryl! Depression is an illness and if someone is having troubles in their life they turn to an escape......Alcohol, drugs, gaming, reckless behavior. If online gaming prevented him from seeking the help he needed then yes there is a problem. My husband is an online gamer and it has ruined our lives. And before you start getting all holy than thou on us there are no underlying problems. If tomorrow there was no more Wow I can guarantee you he would get a job, become more productive and spend more time with his family. Because when he is not around his game he is the perfect husband and father. The people on this board are not looking for criticism and the fact that you would even mention someones death in such a snide and casual way does not say a whole lot about your character. if your playing up to twelve hours a day you have no grip on reality. Yes we are responible for our own lives but sometimes obstacles stand in our way. Unfortunately for some of us it's the game. |
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October 19, 2008, 2:10 pm PDT
Quote From: sherylday OK, I am really getting tired of the MMO bashing. For you that don't know...that's MMORPG..Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.
I am almost 47. My husband is 25. We met and married in Everquest. We then met and married IRL over 4 years ago.
Sure, if you don't have any discipline it can get out of hand, like eating, drug abuse, or anything else...collecting things...I am sure if it exists there is someone out there addicted to it.
When I asked God to put someone in my life, I told him the only stipulation was THEY HAD TO PLAY THE GAME. We both still play the game, and we are very happy together.
I have heard the story about the guy who shot himself, and his mother found him with a room full of pizza boxes and an EQ loading screen...that guy's issues had nothing to do with Everquest. He had a garbage life and used EQ to run away...not the fault of the game..
There is a guy who plays WOW who has 36 accounts....so he can raid and play by himself, and does not have to socialize.. There is a thread on the bulletin board to the server I am on currently discussing whether or not he is the worlds biggest loser...serious gamers...calling this guy a loser...to each his own I say.
The woman you mentioned...Wendy...is the smart one. Any man who plays an MMO who does not have 2 computers and an extra account for their love interest is looking for trouble.
Yes, when I log in I am going to be in for a minimum of 6 hours, and I usually do 12, but I can be in the game, and my husband come home from work...nothing be done, supper not on yet, and I can look at him and say Baby! I leveled!...And he will say..YAY!!!!..Then he will shower, I will cook, we eat, and he goes and logs into his account. We play together a lot.
If your life is not compatible with the game you are playing, get another game. If your game is not compatible with your relationship, get your SO an account.
Either way, get responsible for your own life, and quit blaming the game.
Sheryl
First all, gaming addiction is a serious and real problem despite how many of the addicts deny it. Sheryl, I feel sorry for you, you and your husband feed each other and your addictions. Of you course neither of you have an issue with gaming, you're too busy in the virtual world to notice any problems what so ever. So what would happen if husband quit and left you in the game all alone? You'd divorce them b/c they didn't have your addiction anymore? Give me a break, you're living an unhealthy life, and so is your husband. But good luck when real world comes crashing down as it will eventually. Obviously the reason your relationship works so well is that your emotional maturity is right on par with his 25 year old emotional maturity so it works out, but when he grows up, look out it might not be a match made in heaven anymore or EQ :) As for having 36 accounts, or killing yourself, yes obviously that has nothing to do with gaming itself, anyone will say that gaming masks symptoms and that it covers for a lot. However the spouses here who want attention don't want to play a game. They want the bills paid on time, kids time spent outside/doing activities/chores to be done and not have to do it all themselves. Of course you wouldn't understand this b/c your husband feeds on your addiction/gaming just as you feed on his. They want to spend time doing things with their S.O's that doesn't involve a computer. Oh by the way, I game, my husband games, except I manage to have dinner ready, and we spend more time together offline then online, I guess we like having a solid marriage, but it wasn't always that way. When we were dating he'd play 12 hours a day sometimes less and then 12-16 hours on the weekend. A definite problem, a lot of it had to do with how unhappy he was in the current place he was living and fed up with his situation. Its all about BALANCE. However it doesn't mean that I liked his playing excessively, and that the broken promises didn't total up after awhile, it just means that I was willing to work through it and I got lucky, so was he. Many widows don't have the luxury. So tired of having gamers defend their actions and trying to shift blame from themselves to others, or whatever. Yes most widows know its not the game, a lot of gamers can game responsibility. In the end its all about balance, and obviously woman/men who are in these situations feel pain and overwhelming anguish sometimes. However their so emotionally hurt that all they can see is the game and how much they hate it, it saves their sanity sometimes and their marriage. Because they sometimes can work it out and fix it, and sometimes when that hate gets transferred to the gamers its hello divorce, Goodbye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester bloody Square. Fear not though widows, GW is a safe place, to talk to people that have been in your situation, we welcome exgamers, gamers, and widow(er)s. www.gamerwidow.com |
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