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October 23, 2005, 3:10 pm PDT
Family won't discipline their kid
Quote From: jenjen9701Except, it is with my brother and sister-in-law. My nephew is 5 and can do NO wrong. If I take my 2 boys to their house just to visit, my nephew always ends up injuring one of them...They try to defend themselves and my brother tries to discipline my children...They will tell their uncle that his son was hitting, kicking, biting, or throwing things at them and he all but calls them liars. This is especially true with my oldest son who is 8...He hates going over there now because he always knows he is going to get in trouble with his uncle or his cousin is going to do these things to him without him being able to do anything to defend himself. I have now stopped visiting my brother because of this...I don't know how to make them see that their son is not PERFECT...(As no child is). Now, however, my bro and sil keep calling wanting to know when their son can stay the night at my house....NOT GOING TO HAPPEN....My children do not act that way in my house...No one else's will either....I don't know what else to do.... The way I see it, you have only one choice. You need to sit down with your brother for a frank discussion. Explain to him your concerns - stating obviously that NO child is perfect - you know your children misbehave as well - they all do. However, there will be no sleepovers until it is agreed that when his child is in your house for a sleepover or even just a visit - your rules apply and you have the right to discipline him. I would not have any sleepovers at their house until you notice a difference at your own home. As far as your kids not wanting to go over there - don't force them - you know the situation and it is not fair to them to consistently put them in that situation. If this pisses your brother and sister in law, so be it. Tell your brother that you want a relationship with them, but you have to get this taken care of first. If he is at all reasonable and he wants a relationship with you, he should be willing to sit down with you and talk about it. If you come across as a "know it all" he will get defensive and not listen, but if you come to him in a way that makes it clear that you want this for the good of everyone, maybe he will listen to you and see the situation more clearly. It amazes me how blind parents can be to the realities of their kids behaviors. It may not change - this is the type of thing that people can be completely stubborn and blind about, but for your sake, hopefully he will listen.
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