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August 19, 2005, 5:32 pm PDT
MY DEAR QUEEN
Quote From: queenb2009well hello to all it has been a tough summer and I so missed the boards they were where I went for help and support. As some of you know my dad has been diagnosed with cancer and now it is just a matter of time.My heart is breaking and though we didn't see eye to eye while I was growing up I love him and it is killing me. He has been my dad for 49 years and it is so hard to see him waste away.Thank you Rose and karen and all who have emailed me,My heart is breaking and I don't know what to do.We just got back from Geogia where bills sister who was 46 died of cancer and I thought that was hard but this is hard also.I just want to go to bed and never wake up. But I won't I have to buck up and be strong for my mom,She finally got him to go to the doctor but then it was to late I drove them to the hospital and stayed with them the next morning the doctor delivered his bad news and sent us home the hospice people are so caring and are trying to get us through this but it is so hard and heart breaking thank you all for caring. I have missed each and every one of you hugs sharon/queenb MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. AS YOU KNOW I HAVE GONE THRU THIS WITH BOTH MY PARENT, SO I UNERSTAND. I WISH I COULD HOLD YOU AND LET YOU CRY AND HAVE YOU JUST HOLD ON. I WISH I HAD SOME WISE WORDS TO GIVE YOU TO EASE THE PAIN, I DO NOT THINK I CAN. WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO LET YOUR DAD KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM. THAT HE CAN COUNT ON YOU TO BE WITH HIM. HOSPICE IS WONDERFUL. THEY WILL COUNCEL YOU, HELP YOU DEAL WITH THE PAIN DURING AND AFTER. FOR THE NEXT 13 MONTHS, HOSPICE WILL BE THERE TO HELP YOU THRU THE GRIEF AND LOSS, AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT OUR HOSPICE GAVE US. ONCE HOSPICE BECOJMES INVOLVED IT IS USUALLY A VERY SHORT TIME, SO DO NOT WASTE ANY TIME LETTING YOUR FATHER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM. I CAN TELL YOU THAT ALTHOUGH THE PAIN STAYS A LONG TIME, IT DOES EASE WITH TIME AND THE MEMORIES OF THE GOOD TIMES, FUNNY TIMES AND FUN TIMES WILL BEGIN. HEALING TAKES TIME, SO DO NOT RUSH IT. MY MOTHER PASSED IN MARCH AND AS WE HAVE TALKED IN CHAT IN THE PAST, WE BOTH HAD DIFFICULTIES, YOU WITH YOUR DAD AND ME WITH MY MOTHER, AS I WATCHED HER GO DOWN HILL AND THE PASS AWAY, GRIEF AND A LOSS I CAN NOT EXPLAIN SET IN. I AM STILL DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF MY PARENTS. I STILL MISS MY DAD SO VERY MUCH. BUT I ALSO CAN LAUGH, SMILE AND REMEMBER THE FUNNY THINGS THAT HAPPENED. THE PAIN, I KNOW, GRIPS YOUR HEART. LET US HELP YOU DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. LOL BEV
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