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Replies to '08/11 Conned by a Con Artist'

 
fighter9
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December 11, 2005, 9:45 am PST

sorry

Quote From: jeanne191

Don't give up.  I was by myself for 5 yrs after my husband died.  Join a fraternal organization, church, singles groups.  Play Bingo! Do not, I mean Do Not stay home by yourself and brood.  Go to a exercise class, or maybe a senior center, volunteer and do something for someone else.  You cannot meet people if you don't get out.  You have to trust your judgement and do not take people on face value, give yourself time to know a little about them.  Ask questions, where do they work, what do they do for hobbies, do they dance, drink, go to church.  The more you know the better judge you will be.  Besides it lets them know you are interested in them.  Good Luck

Please do some searches on PSYCHOPATH and DESTRUCTIVE NARCISSISTIC PATTERN. 

  

These people: 

- scam others 

- PASS LIE DETECTOR TESTS 

- seem completely normal 

- prey on the best & brightest (and those with some MONEY) 

  

No, sorry - online dating isn't for me.  I have looked very deep within myself.  Sorry but thats sort of fast-food psychology doesn't cut it when you deal with these guys.  Also, this is NOT the fault of the victim.  12 years of therapy for PTSD from these con men has taught me that!!!  There is NOT A THING WRONG with us.  It's them.  Dr. Robert Hare has a great book out called THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR.  Go read it.  Only a small percentage of them are killers.   

  

I am out there, in society, interacting with others in healthy positive ways.  But online dating? or even dating in general?  Not after you have had one of these types in your life.  I am interested in one thing: my children.  But don't worry about me - hey, more for you!! 
 
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imadrphilphan
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August 11, 2006, 8:02 pm PDT

Questions aren't enough these days

Quote From: jeanne191

Don't give up.  I was by myself for 5 yrs after my husband died.  Join a fraternal organization, church, singles groups.  Play Bingo! Do not, I mean Do Not stay home by yourself and brood.  Go to a exercise class, or maybe a senior center, volunteer and do something for someone else.  You cannot meet people if you don't get out.  You have to trust your judgement and do not take people on face value, give yourself time to know a little about them.  Ask questions, where do they work, what do they do for hobbies, do they dance, drink, go to church.  The more you know the better judge you will be.  Besides it lets them know you are interested in them.  Good Luck
I asked questions, lot's of questions. Most of his answers were lies. Asking questions isn't enough these days. When you first start dating, go on the internet and get all the information you can. Make him give you the name of his employer and make an excuse to call him at work to verify that he really does work there. Take him to lunch and meet his co-workers. Within in a few weeks you should be meeting his friends. Talk to them, everyone loves telling the new kid funny stories. Get them started with stories about him. Talking to people that he knows will paint a much better picture of his personality. This works even with an honest guy, who might not be able to describe himself well. If he doesn't want you to contact him at work and/or refuses to introduce you to his friends; he throwing up a big red flag.
 
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