Replies to '08/11 Conned by a Con Artist'
|
December 11, 2005, 8:51 am PST
 Quote From: wizardatm Well... I hear what you are saying in respect to online dating services... but I've only tried Match and Yahoo, so I can't speak for any others. But I can tell you that you don't need to go to an online dating service to get hooked up with a frootcake... actually my experience is just the opposite. When I posted my profile on the Match and Yahoo, I was quite specific about WHO I AM and whom I was looking for. Regardless of that I was deluged with winks and missives from so many women, and as it turned out... I finally realized that there are a significant number of lonely unhappy women (and men for that matter) out there. I was not looking for anyone to complete me or to make me happy cuz that just ain't gonna happen. No one can make you complete, and no one can make you happy.. that's YOUR job, and until you get that figured out, you are fair game to the con artists and others out there who are looking for you to complete them or make them happy. So rather than wasting your life and your happiness because you're afraid you're going to get taken advantage of, I suggest a fair number of women and men out there should perform a little life saving exercise and take the time to write down "exactly" who you are... what turns your crank, what doesn't... what qualities are intrinsic to you... you're not about to change at this stage of the game and neither is your potential mate... that has always proven to be an exercise in futility. Go DEEP... forget what they look like... forget the superficial crap that we are inundated on a daily basis. Pretend you are BLIND... and think about what really matters to you... never mind what career the person has, or how much money they have or don't have, look to discover who the person is, look for someone who took the time to lay it all out and significantly cut your chances of being led astray or disappointed because you gave your heart away to someone who wasn't who he or she purported to be. Cash is great to have, but it isn't the goal, it's simply a tool which you can use to sustain your comfort level, and its your comfort level that you seek... money can come later. Do your best to not get caught in the trap of superficial bullshit... who really cares what the rest of the planet thinks about how much "stuff" you've acquired... you can't take stuff with you, and things only provide distractions from the essence of life anyway, just ask anyone who has lost someone dearly close to them... the money means nothing because money cannot replace what they just lost. What I am saying is this... don't blame the online services, blame yourself for NOT being yourself and blame yourself for not seeking the type of person who is on the same channel as you... opposites may attract and can make for some lively times, but I don't think those types of relationships have the fundamental foundation from which to build on. Only YOU have the answer to YOUR happiness and YOUR fulfillment... you just have to dig down a little deeper than you've done in the past. The answer is inside you. I hear what you are saying; people should look and dig deeper within themselves for some answers. However, I don't think you have ever been duped by a con artist. I met my con artist on an online dating site. After I ridded myself of this socipathic individual, I found he had placed at least six ads online. I wrote to the online dating sites. I provided concrete information for them that he was married, not only to me but to another; I provided them information that he had been indicted on a felony charge. In fact, I wrote to them five times warning them that he was preying on members of their online dating community. Finally, after I told one of the dating sites that I had placed an "invisible" ad and was warning as many women as I could, did they pull both of his ads. This man was smooth, not only that, he had a Department of Defense Security Clearance to back him up. I surely thought that signaled verifiable integrity. I was wrong. Do you realize that most psychopathic, sociopathic, antisocial con artists can pass lie detector tests? Yu must realize that these con artists have been lying since they could talk. They are masters at their game. We semi-normal individuals inherently trust and we don't stand a chance around them...unless we educate ourselves about them. Herin is where the problem lay...con artists are quite aware of the fact the world is full of people like ourselves. Con artists prey on innocent, trusting people. And the Internet has just given them another source of supply...they can sit behind a computer screen and be anyone they want to be, all the while gaining our CONfidence and our trust. We, as a society, must get smarter. If you chose to do online dating...check them out, and I am afraid that looking a little deeper inside you isn't going to help much when faced with a manipulative, consummate lying con artist. If you see that you are becoming very involved with a person you met online, do a background check, Google their name, and educate yourself about the red flags. |
|
|
December 12, 2005, 5:46 pm PST
Quote From: wizardatm Well... I hear what you are saying in respect to online dating services... but I've only tried Match and Yahoo, so I can't speak for any others. But I can tell you that you don't need to go to an online dating service to get hooked up with a frootcake... actually my experience is just the opposite. When I posted my profile on the Match and Yahoo, I was quite specific about WHO I AM and whom I was looking for. Regardless of that I was deluged with winks and missives from so many women, and as it turned out... I finally realized that there are a significant number of lonely unhappy women (and men for that matter) out there. I was not looking for anyone to complete me or to make me happy cuz that just ain't gonna happen. No one can make you complete, and no one can make you happy.. that's YOUR job, and until you get that figured out, you are fair game to the con artists and others out there who are looking for you to complete them or make them happy. So rather than wasting your life and your happiness because you're afraid you're going to get taken advantage of, I suggest a fair number of women and men out there should perform a little life saving exercise and take the time to write down "exactly" who you are... what turns your crank, what doesn't... what qualities are intrinsic to you... you're not about to change at this stage of the game and neither is your potential mate... that has always proven to be an exercise in futility. Go DEEP... forget what they look like... forget the superficial crap that we are inundated on a daily basis. Pretend you are BLIND... and think about what really matters to you... never mind what career the person has, or how much money they have or don't have, look to discover who the person is, look for someone who took the time to lay it all out and significantly cut your chances of being led astray or disappointed because you gave your heart away to someone who wasn't who he or she purported to be. Cash is great to have, but it isn't the goal, it's simply a tool which you can use to sustain your comfort level, and its your comfort level that you seek... money can come later. Do your best to not get caught in the trap of superficial bullshit... who really cares what the rest of the planet thinks about how much "stuff" you've acquired... you can't take stuff with you, and things only provide distractions from the essence of life anyway, just ask anyone who has lost someone dearly close to them... the money means nothing because money cannot replace what they just lost. What I am saying is this... don't blame the online services, blame yourself for NOT being yourself and blame yourself for not seeking the type of person who is on the same channel as you... opposites may attract and can make for some lively times, but I don't think those types of relationships have the fundamental foundation from which to build on. Only YOU have the answer to YOUR happiness and YOUR fulfillment... you just have to dig down a little deeper than you've done in the past. The answer is inside you. YOU are someone I would love to meet! LOL I couldn't agree more! It most DEFINATELY is a personal "choice" whether or not to utilize a dating service. I have used both YAHOO and MATCH.COM (among others) and have yet to have a "horrible" experience. Not to say that it couldn't happen ... but I put out there just what I'm looking for and the moment a guy starts appearing "too perfect", out come the feelers!! I play a game called "20 questions" and proceed to delve deep into his psyche. I'm a natural analyst, so this game puts me more in tune with the guy I'm talking to - and weeds out those who are BOGUS. It helps that I'm not a PUSHOVER or looking for a romp. It further helps that I'm not an enabler or settling for ANY man, just to make me feel better about myself. I love me and my life. I date and have a wonderful time!
I believe that self-confidence comes from within. You CHOOSE how others treat you. I've met my share of fruitcakes online, but it has gone no further than a chat, then specifically telling them that they aren't what I'm looking for. Sometimes it gets heated and egos are bruised, but BELIEVE ME, those guys are the ones who can't remember WHO they've talked to - they'll get over it. I've had the same guy I turned down, actually IM me - forgetting he had even spoken to me! LOL My point is: Not all MEN are like your EX's and not all WOMEN are like your EX's - nor are they ALL CON ARTISTS!! It's not only unfair to lump them all into the LOSER pile - it's unhealthy.
Why punish yourself the rest of your life for one lesson learned? I firmly believe that the lessons we go through in life teaches us how to treat others or allow ourselves to be treated. Why allow someone else to take away the fun you could be having - the life you could be enjoying? Me? I'm a competitive person - and I REFUSE TO LOSE A GAME I DON'T PARTICIPATE IN!! Don't play the game. CHOOSE not to. Sounds so simple, because it is.
Tell yourself why you DESERVE to be happy, to be treated well and to be loved. Look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU!" every day - smile at what you see ... hold your head high ... say hello to a stranger ... you'd be surprised at how much good comes back to you! YOU DESERVE IT!! :) |
|
Return to the Message Board