Replies to '08/02 "I Love Myself!"'

did you know that it actually takes more effort to hate then it does to love. Try doing something nice for your family and appreciate the good things in them. Life isn't all about you. it is good that you see that you have a problem, maybe try talking to your family about some family counseling or something, get your self some help, there are good people out there who would be willing to help you to figure this out. Why are you the way you are? what has triggered your attitude? What has these people done to make you so full of hate for them? Whatever, tehre really is help for you, if you really want it.............................Life is too short to be miserable and to make every one else miserable.

Well, I'll go ahead and dissect this one:

 

i abserlotly hate my step father & always take it out on my younger brother to get my mothers attention. I dont like being this way but its not what i chose for myself i am just like that

 

I'm calling BS on this one. 

 

That's an excuse.  Unless you have some kind of neurological disorder like ADD/ADHD, an autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, ODD, conduct disorder, or something else of that sort, you are choosing your behavior. 

I used anger to get attention as well when I was in my teens.  More info:

http://www.drphil.com/messageboard/topic/1212

 

Either way, I chose my actions and I chose the consequences to that behavior. 

 

If you have issues with attention, then you need to think about whether or not you really like yourself.  Ask yourself:

 

1) Why do I hate my step-father?  Is he trying to replace my real father?  Am I angry at my real father, but taking it out on him?  Is Mom paying too much attention to him and not enough attention to us?  Or is it only me that I'm concerned with, as opposed to us?

 

2) What are my good qualities?  What am I good at?  What do I like to do?  What do I have to offer to the people around me?

 

3) Am I really mad at my brother?  Or am I mad at myself, but am taking it out on him?  (when you have an undesirable quality about yourself, but instead, blame someone else for it, that's called projection)

 

However, on some level, you do seem to realize that what you're doing is wrong, considering that you said that you need to stop before you actually get yourself killed.

 

If you really do feel that your actions may threaten your life, you need to talk to a counselor: school counselor, therapist, somebody.

You obviously see your behavior as wrong and this can be a positive thing.

 Is there some reason that you hate your step father? Has he done something to you? Or is it that you feel that he takes up your mother's time and you feel left out? It is normal to feel jealousy when one of your parents re-marries. There is an adjustment period and children will sometimes act out. However, this is not justification for willing "attempting" to hurt your own brother. That is totally inappropriate and you should STOP immediately. You could seriously injure him and you could end up in a juvenile facility. Think of the emotional damage you're doing to him and yourself.

 

I think you should discuss these things with your mother. Open up to her about how you're feeling. If you can't do it one on one, try writing her an honest letter. If this isn't an option for you, seek help from a guidance counselor, school psychologist, or even a trusted friends parent. Let someone help you to help yourself.

 

As far as demanding attention from the wrong people... you know and understand that you are doing this.... that is another positive. Are you seeking attention from these people because you're not getting your needs met at home? Or do you just feel the need for excessive attention, admiration, adoration, etc... but, don't really care where you get it? Another reason to talk to a trusted adult.

 

Children who are searching for attention will do almost anything to get it. Whether that be positive or negative. It seems to me, that the negative isn't working out for you so well. Why not try to put a positive spin on your situation? You seem willing to admit that you need help. Believe it or not, that is a step in the right direction. Please be kind to yourself. Give yourself some credit for admitting to your behavior. Trust that you mother wants you to be a happy, healthy, productive person. Allow yourself to become all of those things. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

Take care and God bless.