Replies to 'Self Image'

I get so angry because i know that I am abusing the temple that God blessed me with.....  I have been doing these over the years but they just have grown and grown.......  Like for the longest time I just hit or bit myself.....  then about hmmm sometime just over a year ago i started to burn and dig.........  Before any of the self harm came the eating disorder.......  I this self harm when i am frustrated, angry, ignoring hurt or whatever like i just don't want to feel.......  wheni have anxiety attacks, to calm down, for sooooooo many reason........  like when there is a part in me that wants to cry but i say no........  sometimes i really don't know why i do it.........  even the other day food of the day (errrrggg i didn't want to eat) was a healthy choice meal (i kept it but i walked 2 miles which really wasn't enough)........  anyway i was getting up and some how knocked the thing over and it had just a little bit left in it so i went to the bathroom and started just digging and digging.....  like a punishment or something it seems like when i look back at it...  ahhhhhhhh I am sooo cofused and feel so alone!!!  Well, once again when i say that I do want to say i know that God is here with me but that doesn't keep me from feeling so alone..........  i just wish i could disappear right now...  but i know tha tisn't really what i want even though that is how i feel does that make since......  nothing i ever do seems good enough for me it can always be better and actually it gets quite frustrating.....  Even not to long ago i was upset with God because He loves me so much and because He has a purpose for me so i told Him all about it i just let Him know how i felt.........  i felt bad doing it but i think God can handle us telling him how we feel.......  if someone else was doing this i would want them to know there are other ways to cry and it is good to feel things.....  i would probley say other things but yeah.......  i would tell them it is ok to mess up and not to feel quilt or shame for what they do it will only make it worse..........  don't let anger and anger well yeah i don't know......  i just want to go somewhere and hide!!!!  I just want to curl up somewhere and cry!!!