Replies to 'Interracial Relationships'

I am a white female, divorced, with 3 teenage white children(of course there is the cherokee part, but I don't know how much) anyway... I am discouraged with all the racist behaviour in this world even today. I was married before to white men, but am now engaged to a black man. This did not happen overnight...I grew up around racist people, went to all- white schools mostly, and hated every minute of it! Even I wasn't good enough for them because I wasn't rich, they thought they were better than me...I went through several abusive relationships, all with white men...not to say that they are all bad, I don't hate my own color, just believe me there are bad men everywhere no matter what color they are....a few years ago my young teenage daughter told me she had a boyfriend who was hispanic....a flipped out for a minute before I caught myself, I guess from all the racial environments that I have been in, but I was able to talk to a good friend that I worked with about it(My current fiance) and was able to get over my problem..I was just so afraid of the negative response from people and didn't want my child to go through it that I was afraid to stand up for what I believe in myself...Luckily, my daughter had the ability to stand up for the both of us...It's been three years now for her, and 2-1/2 for me, and we are all doing well...interracial or not...if you find a good man, hang onto him, they are hard to find...I just hate that it took my daughter to get through to me, or maybe I should be thankful she did....we both have good relationships now,...color doesn't matter, it's how they treat you!

you have expressed some admirable sentiments such as hoping new generations begin to date and grow up and that they will be less and less racist and judgmental.  However, that is entirely negated by your first statement that you have "really only dated black males".  You say "Noone should be judged by anything, but definitely not based on appearance".  Isn't that in fact exactly what you are doing, if you have only really dated black men???? 

 

I do agree with all your sentiments about - differences should be cherished and noone should be judged and the wish that our daughters will date any good man, despite the color of his skin or what he looks like.  You should practice what you preach though.  IMO you are not doing so if you allow your innate attraction to black men to prevent you from being open to dating men of ALL races.  You may well come back and say you are in fact open to that, but your words here have not said you are. 

 

We all have innate preferences as far as the physicality of mates - and should recognize them.  Recognize them, but don't ever allow them to let us close our minds to the possibility that someone who does not meet said preference would be a wonderful companion.  :)  Roxy