Replies to 'Getting Along With Your In-Laws'

Dear Sb,

   Thankyou for your support, i suspect many people in this world are suffering from the same emotions when having to confront the inlaws. I think some people will think that you can just ignore them and the problem will go away but i beleive this is not the case. Yes i am advantaged (somedays i actully thank the lord for the distance) by living in a different country, but even so they make a huge impact on our lives, cause many disruptions, tension and arguments between my partner and myself. However, this is only temporarily, when my partner has graduated in 2.5 years we have the option to move back to his home country. He misses his siblings and is very close to them. The two older sister have cut their parents out of their lives becuase of similar problems, something they never wanted to do, but had no choice, i know it upsets them greatly. But i'm sure it can only be a complete disaster my moving there, but how could i keep my partner from his siblings?

I can't help but feel in the middle, they brainwash my partner into think ridiculious things, something my partner said the other day i feel was actully from his parents but i can't be sure. He said, if i really loved him then i would keep trying becuase it means so much to him. But how much can one person try? They don't seem to beleive in meeting half way or compromising, and they always thing they are RIGHT.

I know they have very bad communication, and my partner doesn't communicate well either,over the years of being with him i've tried to help him to communicate better but when he is with his parents this all goes down the drain.

When we do not have any involvment or input from his parents we get along very well. When we get a phone call, or they ask him to do  something, or say something about me, then we start fighting.

Can you throw a relationship away with a child invovled becuase of the inlaws??

That seems like such a huge thing to do, but it's definently crossed my mind.

Thankyou for your understanding and reply, it's great to let it all blurt out and have sombody listen.

Fiona