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September 23, 2005, 11:04 am PDT
Being a Good Friend
Quote From: jamrodHi. I am here asking for help with a problem with my best friend. She and I have been friends for 12 years now. I am 34 and she is 36. We have ALWAYS got along so well, but recently I feel she has been bitten by the I'm so much better than you bug.
She decided she wanted to go to college. I told her I would back her all the way and that I am here for her anytime and I have been. I believe that good friends should be allowed to brag to each other now and then about their accomplishments without the other one getting upset. However, I do believe that with ANYTHING there is such a thing as too much. I mean, she calls me up soooo often bragging about her accomplishments. I have continued to brag on her, but am finding myself feeling almost smothered by her need for my compliments. I too have thought about taking classes next semester, so it isn't at all a jealousy thing on my part. I have no doubt there would be times I might feel the need to say, hay...I aced that test I thought I did so lousy on., but to boast about it all of the time..not my cup of tea.
She does still ask me how I am, but I feel she really isn't interested in what I have to say about my life anymore. We once had so much in common. We were both at home and had our kids at home and there was just so much to talk about. It would be so sad to let this get in the way, but it already is. I know she feels my distance...but how do you tell a friend, I'm sorry but you are just bragging way too much? Do you let them know? Perhaps she doesn't even realize she is doing it, although if you could hear her, you would wonder how it would be missed.
I guess what I need to know from all of you is...how do I handle the situation? Mention it or remain quiet? Become less and less available until she gets the picture? I just don't know what to do. I DON'T want to hurt her feelings. She has been through a lot in her life and I know that would hurt her. Thanks so much...hope someone out there can help.
Sincerely,
Worried in Missouri personally, I would let it go. I know it can get annoying at times, but really in my opinion, itis no big deal, let her brag or whatever it is she is doing, she may not be doing it to hurt you or to make you feel less imporant and even if she is, that is her problem, not yours. Be happy with your self and go after your own dreams and desires, worring about something like this I think is a waste of time and energy, put your time and enegy into your self and your family, when she says something about her accomplishments, just make a nice comment and go on with a new conversation or whatever.
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