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Replies to '07/19 Identity Theft'

 
saemae
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frustrated
April 17, 2007, 7:37 am PDT

Here is the REAL problem

Quote From: joannviola

In 1971, my sister stole my driver's license, Social Security card and birth certificate and proceeded to rack up criminal records in almost all of the lower 48 states.  She wrecked my credit and got me in trouble with the IRS-- AND MY PARENTS KNEW ABOUT IT.  I could not figure out what was going on and it went on for about eight years until she got arrested in my hometown for prostitution and there was an article in the local newpaper.  AGAIN-- my parents knew about it!

I was totally humiliated-- it was one of my college professors who pulled me aside, gave me the article and said "I know this was not you."

My family does not talk about such things.  She is the family darling-- she has a "rich and successful husband" and all my cousins think she is so glamorous with her bleached hair, her blue contact lenses and her knock-off designer clothing and bags.  Let's not talk about her methadone habit or the nasty way she treats people.

I am still watching my back.  This witch is still around and telling relatives that she and her husband are financially supporting my return to school, when the truth is that I saved my money to go back for a fourth degree.

I do not speak to this woman unless I have to-- she exists, but she is NOT my sister any longer.

Mommies and Daddies who try to excuse this behavior only hurt the offender.  If it isn't nipped in the bud with the original disciplinarians, it just gets worse.  The entitlement felt by the criminal is outrageous.  My husband's father is now struggling in his retirement years to support he and his wife because his mom continually begged him when he was younger to bail his little brother out of jail, pay his brother's debts, look the other way when dear brother "borrowed" his identity and ruined his good name.  My father-in-law withdrew his retirement again and again because he was afraid his mother would kill herself worrying about dear little brother.  Well, dear little brother ended up getting himself killed in a high-speed accident (which probably spared my father-in-law from eating cat food now because he got a good ten years in to save some money without having to shell it out for his little worthless brother.)  I hate to be hateful here, but I watch them struggle and deny themselves medical treatment because that "family love" ruined their lives.

 

If you've got a family member doing this to you, don't pamper them and make it go away.  THROW THEIR MISERABLE BUTTS IN JAIL!  They need to learn their lesson!  Put credit blocks on your accounts and bust them if they try to take your identity!  You are doing them no favors by making their little indiscretions "disappear".
 
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flthomcat
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April 17, 2007, 10:29 am PDT

Forgiveness is a gift to give yourself

Quote From: joannviola

In 1971, my sister stole my driver's license, Social Security card and birth certificate and proceeded to rack up criminal records in almost all of the lower 48 states.  She wrecked my credit and got me in trouble with the IRS-- AND MY PARENTS KNEW ABOUT IT.  I could not figure out what was going on and it went on for about eight years until she got arrested in my hometown for prostitution and there was an article in the local newpaper.  AGAIN-- my parents knew about it!

I was totally humiliated-- it was one of my college professors who pulled me aside, gave me the article and said "I know this was not you."

My family does not talk about such things.  She is the family darling-- she has a "rich and successful husband" and all my cousins think she is so glamorous with her bleached hair, her blue contact lenses and her knock-off designer clothing and bags.  Let's not talk about her methadone habit or the nasty way she treats people.

I am still watching my back.  This witch is still around and telling relatives that she and her husband are financially supporting my return to school, when the truth is that I saved my money to go back for a fourth degree.

I do not speak to this woman unless I have to-- she exists, but she is NOT my sister any longer.

I know this is difficult to hear since you are clearly a victim in all of this, but I wish you would learn to forgive and pity this woman. Think about how deeply miserable she really is. She's not happy. Happy people don't live the way she lives. Forgiving is not saying what happened is acceptable. It's not about being a wimp. It's about losing the anger that controls your life. In essense, it's about taking your power BACK from your sister and your parents.

 

Move forward with your life. I dumped the big brick (of anger and resentment) against my father four years ago. He died this year, without ever having apologized to me. However, he died with me by my side and I have no anger to live with forever. I am free! He was a flawed human as we all are (some of us to more of a degree, as I suppose is your sister's case). If I hadn't forgiven my father, he would still have power and control over me for years to come. He would still be negatively affecting my life and those in it. He would be taking up my time with negative energy. I refused to live that way. I learned to forgive and move forward. It's the GIFT I gave myself!

 

Good luck to you. I feel your pain. I also pity your sister; she has a sad existance. Your parents also have made huge mistake, but probably out of misguided love and the human need to preserve the almighty family name (AKA ego).

 

God bless you all. I would LOVE to see you find the peace it took me over 3 DECADES to find. Life is wonderful now. Never forget the old saying, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." I bet you're one tough cookie who will make many people proud!!!
 
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