Replies to 'Staying Sick or Exaggerating for the Payoff?'

A relative of mine who is very close to me exaggerates her illnesses.  While she does have health problems, she gets thrilled to tell me and all of her friends and family of each health problem she has, and she announces each doctor visit to everyone like it's something that truly excites her.  I get so frustrated with her.  Once she really did have a heart attack and I thought she was fine while I was sitting with her in the Emergency Room because she was just thrilled about the attention she was receiving.  Who knows that maybe this was her way of lightening up the situation, but even the doctors had a hard time dealing with her because she was too overjoyed about all the attention she was receiving from family and the doctors.  I never really know if she is faking it or not.  She has admitted to complaining about being sick a lot when she was not, just so she could be babied as well as not have to work.  Now she's going on disability and all of a sudden she cannot even walk.  I find this hard to believe because if I had some delicious desert on the table she would get up in a heart beat.  For her it is a very selective disability.  I'm frustrated because I have fibromyalgia, with lots of pains, yet I do not sit on my rump all day long like she does.  I hate to say it that way, but it really bothers me that she does not try to even get her weight down, and now she uses her health as an excuse to not exercise.  Another thing that truly bothers me is she loves getting surgeries after surgeries.  Or at least it appears that way the excited way she talks about it.  I just do not know how to deal with all of this.  She is a joke of the family, and I know people are rolling their eyes when they hear of each weekly news update, as she emails all her friends and family on each doctor visit she has.  They would need a semi to transfer all her medical records to one hospital.  Now she irritates the heck out of me because the doctor has given her some pain meds that make her high all the time as well as tired.  Her behavior is irratic, and she rarely thinks about consequences of things.  I find it really hard to understand why someone would exaggerate their medical status to get attention.  People with fibromyalgia are often accused of this unjustly, and although she does not have fibromyalgia, she says at times she thinks she does.  This irritates me more because I have fibromyalgia, and her symptoms are not like mine.  And, it is because of these type of attention seekers that doctors have a hard time finding out what is real and what is not.  It just makes it harder for those with invisible illnesses, who have REAL symptoms.  I wish I knew better how to not get mad at her for her behaviors.  Sometimes I say some mean things to her because I'm frustrated with her attention seeking behaviors.  Typically I am very understanding and loving, but I have caught myself saying some pretty judgmental things out of frustration.  I do love her very much and I wish I could understand her more as well as be able to not get mad and say the wrong things to her.  Has anyone experienced this with a friend, significant other, and/or relative?  I'd like to know how you cope with the person if you have. 

Kristie 

fyte4acure : )