Replies to '08/27 Bully Dads'

I would have to agree. Some (not all) women feel that they NEED a man in their lives for financial support, reassurance, lonliness... etc. I mean, I understand needing those things, but don't sell yourself short... ESPECIALLY for the sake of your children. My mother was married to a very physically, very sexually, very depraved man for eleven years and she sat by while he cussed my brother, sister and I out. I have found faith and healing in Jesus, but my brother, who was once a sweet, loving, giving child, is now a hard person who allows himself to feel no physical or emotional pain... he just bottles it... and I am scared for when that comes out. My sister is now VERY promiscious and finds comfort in this, sigh- trying not to judge- loser of a boyfriend she keeps returning to who abuses her like our stepfather used to. I am the oldest (not that that matters)- but I was eleven when it started, told my mom when I was seventeen... and life was good. Hard but good. Sure, we had to live with her mother... but there was FREEDOM. But then the dark day came about when she sat on my sister's bed, looked me in the face and said "I don't believe you. You don't act like a molested child." I was floored.  She was molested too as a child, and she withdrew where I was became more extroverted... hey, I was HAPPY it was over!! LOL... but she went back to this man after I graduated and he did it to both my brother and sister. It wasn't until my sister's friend made her go to the police (my friend made me tell to, thank God for good friends!!!!) that he finally figured he'd go to jail so he killed himself. Mom went with this man because she couldn't see herself doing any better, and felt she 'needed' someone to take care of her, especially since it was hard for her to find a decent job to support three kids. I don't know, I was fortunate enough to find a christian man who does nothing like that to our kids, but I feel that I would do it alone if I had to, even if it meant working at "McDonalds" or where ever. Thankfully my sister doesn't have any children, but I am afraid if she stays with this guy (and she wont listen to any of us about him....) and if she does have a child he would be worse than this guy.... well, kind of went off on a tangent there, sorry!!! But the point is, single (and married) women have real needs to be loved, secure, accepted and appreciated and sometimes (like my mom) they feel the need to go after the first guy that whispers sweet nothings in their ears because they don't realize their own worth and feel if they wait, it will be too late. I only say this as an observer's experience... people (like my best friend) have lucked out and found the 'perfect' guy to take care of her and her two kids... so advice? Ladies (and gents...) don't settle for anything less than the best! Then again, I am christian and feel the best is Christ, but that aside, I think that not settling is a lesson we can all take to heart... peace and blessings to all! B.

(on a side note, mom and I have BOTH gotten through this and are real good friends. She's changed because of God and I have forgiven her... another miracle of our Saviour!! And has found happiness with the greatest guy in the world that I am honoured to call dad! ... as for my brother and sister.... I guess all I can do is listen, love and pray... thanks for reading!)

 She wasn't choosing her Man over her children. society tells women that they should do whatever they can to keep their family ( the father of your children ) together.  She has 2 children with this man, she gave the father of her first 2 children a chance and he screwed it up by being an abusive ass, the second one faired even worse. Had she not had anything to do with this man, she would have been a single mother of 4 with 2 babies daddies, and you all would have been condemning her for being irresponsible  for not letting the father participate. 

people in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones.