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May 14, 2009, 9:13 pm PDT
Lost the weight and am unhappy with what's left
Quote From: robbinp654I am 42 yrs. old, 5' 3" and about 2 years ago I had gained up to 176lbs. I made the decision to lose the weight with God's help, a healthy diet and exercise. In 16 months I was able to lose over 50lbs. and have maintained a 120-125lb. range. Inside, I feel so much better since the weight loss but outside the sagging skin on my body repulses me. My dream was to lose the weight and be able to wear shorts, 2-piece bathing suits, the ever popular "skinny" shirts, etc. that I wouldn't wear before but I find myself covering up more now than I did when I was overweight. My arms, stomach, legs, neck and most everything else makes me look like I'm 80 years old. It's definitely not a win-win situation. I actually have lower self esteem now than when I was at 176lbs. The option of surgery is out of the question since my husband and I both are disabled and live on a fixed income. I never thought that I would second guess my decision to lose the weight but when I look in the mirror, I can't help it.
My prayers go out to all of you I understand completely. I'll never be able to afford surgery to correct the sagging skin. I've lost about 100 lbs and still pretty much dress the way I did when fat. I need the layers to cover up the wrinkly, sagging skin. I had no idea what I'd be left with.
I didn't spend my life fat, but I gained about 100 lbs in a year because some kind of chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia (or something that causes that) made it so I couldn't go to the gym anymore or teach dance. The weight came on fast, came off very slow, and I'm left covering most of my body up because it looks so disgusting. And living on the gulf coast means HOT summers and high humidity, but you won't find me wearing shorts or tank tops or short sleeved shirts... not by themselves anyway. I always wear a hoodie or sweater or sweat jacket if the shirt I'm wearing has short sleeves of any kind. No matter the weather, that's how I'm dressed.
Finding clothes that fit is yet another issue. Arms and torso aren't in proportion (heavy upper arms despite the weight loss), so I can only wear tops made from stretchy material so it fits everywhere. Buying shirts or blouses to fit my upper arms means the top will be HUGE, while the arms fit. It looks horrible, so I can't wear clothes made from non-stretchy material. There's just no way.
I envy those who have access to take care of the loose skin after a big loss. I was actually shocked by a friend's mom's story. She had lost almost 200 lbs and Medicaid paid for her body lift! I could hardly believe it.
But I have so many days where I do wish I hadn't lost the weight. I see daytime shows and movies, etc. about this awesome experiences where people have lost a ton of weight, ended up looking fabulous, even younger for it. But for some of us, the end result after a large weight loss is, well, less than a happy ending.
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