Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

I was in  a serious relationship with a guy for three years, up until my 2nd year of college.  Of course we were young and both wanted to experience the world before we made any commitments so we broke up and got back together several times.  We never stopped loving each other though, and the fire was always there even if we had just broken up.  The last time we got togther, things were going really great, and we had decided that we were ready to have a committed relationship together.  A few weeks later, he gets a phone call from a girl he saw while we were apart, and then he just tells me we aren't going to work because he still has feelings for this other girl.  So I was really hurt and went on my way.

My mom introduced me to another guy a few days after my breakup.  I was on the rebound, I thought, but I ended up having a lot of fun with this new guy.  We spent a lot of time together, had the same goals, ambitions, dreams for the future, religious background, and even our families were a lot alike.  The new guy and I dated for 4 months and then we got engaged.  After that, he started to let his true colors come out.  He started getting jealous over nothing.  I felt like I was stuck because we were engaged, and my parents had already started planning the wedding.  We got engaged in March and were getting married in July of the same year.  I went on with the engagement and did indeed marry him hoping things would change.

Two days after our marriage, things did change...for the worst.  He became possessive, controlling, insecure, mentally abusive, demanding.  He was a total stranger.  I tried for 9 months to make the marriage work, but I was miserable the whole time.  Everyday, I woke up knowing that the guy I married was just a rebound, and I still missed my ex.  Now I'm divorced and I saw my ex a few weeks ago, and we started talking again.  I found out why he dumped me, and it was only because the other girl said she was pregnant, and he wanted to be a good father.

Now, because I married a rebound on a whim, I'm 22 and going through a divorce.  Luckily, I have no children, and my ex and I are back together doing great this time around.

If you are really considering marrying the new guy that you thought was just a rebound, give yourself some space (ie, a few days away from him to think by yourself, or a vacation alone) to think about is he really the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with.  The saying is true that if you love somebody, let them go for a while, and if they come back, you know it is meant to be.