Quote From: junesevMy daughter has been sleeping with me since she was born. Her father and I separated and divorced when she was 18 months. When she is at his house she sleeps with him. She just turned 7 on Saturday. Her step father and I are trying to get to sleep by herself and are at a loss!! She is very dependent on me. If I go upstairs she is up there by my side within 2 minutes. The only "alone time" my husband and I get are on Saturday mornings when she, after throwing a fit, agrees to watch tv in her room. I feel that she has dependency issues because of the divorce. Also, her father and I live in different states so she goes back and forth to see each of us. Anyway, please help! I need all the advice I can get with this issue.
If you haven't already, I suggest talking to her father about the sleeping arrangment at his home. Ask him to give her her own place to sleep, if not right now, then very, very soon. This is right on the verge of a very unhealthy situation!! At home, you need to talk with your daughter about her sleeping habits in a serious, calm, yet firm, way. She is getting to be a big girl now, its time for her to be independant! I really doubt that her sleeping with you has anything to do with your divorce... how could she remember it if she was only 18 months old? Its understandable that you would allow her to start sleeping with you when you got divorced, its comforting to both of you... however... things have changed.
I have a 7 year old, too, so I know that this is an age where they start to want to push boundaries and to "reason" with us. But mom, you've got to lay down the law! You've got to do it now, or you will regret it. Please don't hold judgements against yourself for allowing this to go on this long... don't point fingers, etc. Just do something NOW. And then, don't look back. When you set a rule, you must stick to it. Start a regular night time routine with her, such as at "whatever" time, lets say, 8:00, you take her to her bed and have 15 - 20 minutes alone with her, reading a book, talking about her day, talk about a happy memory, things of this nature. Take a cup of water with you so thats not her excuse to get back up. Be consistant -- don't give in-- and you will be sleeping without her before you know it! I wish you the best!
