Replies to '12/26 The Nanny Affair, Part 1'

My husband did this to me when I was 34............. brought a teenage (14yrs.old) PATIENT to live in our home the summer of 83'.  She was being placed in a child care institution in the Fall and he and her therapist worked this little plan out!  He KNEW this was wrong but he was always very good at justifying his actions.  It was probably the worse summer of my life and dealing with this "adoring teenage girl", who pranced around in babydoll pj's and cutoff jeans that left nothing to the imagination!  My own daughters where 4 and 6 years old and fortunately not old enough to realize what exactly was going on.  But they did "sense" that something was not right with mom during that horrible summer.  When this young girl FINALLY went into her new living situation it took less then 2 weeks for her to cut her wrists.  Of course my husband was certain that she was depressed and upset with her new situation............meaning she was not seeing my husband on a daily basis. 

For me............that was the beginning of the end.....  We had been married almost 13 years at that point and this was the 3rd time that he had become involved with another woman.  He always swore that there was no sex between them but they didn't have to actually have the physical act as far as I was concerned.  He flaunted (but was very cunning the way he did it) this child's adoration of him and it was humiliating and very, very upsetting to me.

It took another "affair" with yet another woman 2 years later that was the straw that broke the camels back.  She was another woman who he became involved with as a result of his "work".  He is a psychologist!  Again.....it was a woman that was quite a bit younger then he was.  I was done!!!

I was raised Catholic and when I got married I felt it was for the rest of my life.  We dated for 8 years before we married.  I put HIM thru school and helped get his private practice started.  At 34 he told me I was old and boring and I couldn't take anymore. 

It was difficult and scary and the unknown was terrifying to me but I moved on.  Got my nursing degree, and remarried when I was 40.  I learned that the best revenge is to live well and that is what we are doing.  But women need to know that this happens all the time. Sad but true.  And it works both ways --- with husbands AND wives!    And if there is one thing I have learned..............if they do it once...........they will do it again.  That is my opinion and from women I have talked to over the years......this is more common then not!!!