Quote From: smesserSadly, I understand why she stays with him. I was in a physical and mentally abusive marriage. What people don't understand is that the man limits EVERYTHING. He makes the woman feel like there's no one besides him that cares about her. He tells her that HE is everything, the ONLY person who cares about her. She starts to think that he is right, they don't like him because he thinks differently than they do.
I'm not suggesting that she has been abused anymore than emotionally. But, this is how these people work on their prey.The line between physical and mental abuse is very thin,
When she met him, the wife was impressed by his accomplishments as a fireman. All he has to do is be that person long enough to marry her, then....he is the king and she...the slave.
This woman is lucky, her friend cares about her enough to keep fighting for her friends' sanity. She sees what is going on and tries to make her friend see what he's doing. I'm surprised he has allowed her to continue to see her friend. She thinks for herself, she is a problem that may cause self thought.
I read a lot of posts on here that say that they don't understand why the woman just leaves him. He has such control over her mind that she thinks that there is nothing with out him. My ex told me that it was OK for a man to have affairs, men needed to do that, besides, it's easier on me. He needs more sex than I could give him.
You are all right, she needs to kick him to the curb. What we need to do is make her see that. She is still living in the fantasy world he painted to get her in the first place. I fear that, in time, if she continues to question,,,he may kill her. It's very scary, isn't it?
I have to say that I understand completely. I was in an abusive relationship for a year and it really woke me up. No one could understand why it was hard to get away, because they make you feel like they're the only one that can satisfy you and love you. In her situation she had kids involved, and dispite her feelings, she needs to be thinking of her kids. Even though her husband has that control over her, and I know what that's like, I would be dead before someone would hurt my children. If a man would kill me, what makes her think that he couldn't hurt his children? I honestly understand everything because it took me a long time to get away from my ex. He lied constantly and cheated and abused me verbaly and eventually physically and it took me awhile to wake up and see what he was doing to me and that he was never going to change. I see the same thing in this guy. She really needs to wake up also, and realize that she could be that concrete beneath his feet.
