Quote From: tomi_ruthThe proudest day of my life was when:
When in the AF out of this country my 21 year old son was told by a lady he was no longer dating that she was pregnant and he was the father. He stood by her during her pregnancy paid support spent the first 4 months with his precious daughter and then was shipped back.
I sent for mother & daughter for her first birthday. Unfortunately he was away at dessert storm.
The mother was not prepared to be a mother in fact later we found out the baby was not living with her.
My husband and I offered to support her here while she pursued a college education. She went back to get a student visa armed with all the proof but she decided to leave this precious baby.
We never heard from her again. (that was 17 years ago)
In trying to get a green card or something to allow this child to stay here we had to get a DNA test.
I was shocked but went to the state to visit my son and tell him she was not ours. He said "Mom, she has always been mine." I will have to get an OK from the service to keep her but she is mine.
He married when she turned 5 and his wife adopted her they have not felt the need to have another child.
This lovely young lady still feels totally deserted by her "birth mom" and has written her at least 3 or 4 times and never heard back. Today at 18 she does not know about the DNA test and I really do not know how or if we should tell. We had always planed on her knowing but she is soooo insecure we don't know what to do about it. How can anyone who had lived with, held , fed or rocked an infant hurt this same child just to save money or save face?
A beautiful story, but I believe she should be told when she is 21 or 25. She deserves to know the truth. It will hurt greatly, but should increase her self esteem as she realizes the unconditional love her dad, mom and you (her true family) have and had for her even though you knew since she was 5 that she was not a birth child/grandchild. It's like adoption--she doesn't know her birth parents, but has much love anyway. Unfortunately, there's a down side to telling her--she may feel totally insignificant by being abandomed by her birth mother and has no knowledge of her birth father, no "roots".
Best Wishes, and God bless!!!
