Replies to '12/06 Desperate to Be a Mom'

I realize you think you are being helpful when you tell someone who is struggling with infertility that they should consider adoption; however, having struggled with infertility for 5 years, I can tell you from personal experience how insensative, inconsiderate and uneducated such a comment really is.  Until you experience the hell of struggling to concieve, you have absolutely no business dispensing solutions!  Adoption is a wonderful experience for some parents; however, it is NOT a "next best thing" to having your own biological child (and it NEVER should be!)  It is a completely different experience, one that should not be considered "the next best thing" when trying to become a parent.  I don't know whether to be outraged by the insensativity of this message or sad that this person is so clearly uncompassionate.  How dare you tell infertile couples to "just accept their life where they're at."  The pain of infertility is so deep and so personal, it is appalling to read such an insensative comment.  I'll admit, in the 5 years we struggled, I was faced with many comments like this.  Thank you Dr. Phil for bringing this subject into the spotlight.  It's so rare that anyone tries to tackle this issue, and it's very clear by this mindless, obtuse message, that it's a topic that needs to be discussed.  I hope you'll continue to do more features on infertility so those facing the unimaginable pain of infertility don't have to continue to be bruised by these simple-minded, hurtful remarks.

I saddens me when I hear people refer to adopted children as being "unwanted by their own biological parents."  I am a birth mother and there was never a time that I did not want my daughter.  I was young and wanted her to have a family who could provide for her in a way that I was unable to at the time.  I don't know the story of your sister-in-law's experience, but let's show some respect for those who entrust our children to other people to raise when we cannot do it ourselves.

So why don't you adopt and "give a great home and all that love to children who never knew the love of a real mom and dad?" You seem to have very strong opinions about everyone else saving the world. Practice what you preach.

After being a mommy to two biological children and one adopted, I can vouch....adoption is a great option. I am just as much Colby's mommy as I am the biological two, and the process of getting him was just as special as having the biological two. I am praying that people who are unable to get pregnant will see this.