Replies to '12/06 Desperate to Be a Mom'

lissa1122

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December 8, 2007, 2:17 am PST

12/06 Desperate to Be a Mom

Quote From: hbtharle

The word desperate conjures up a mental picture of a less than stable person. Is this the kind of person who should be in charge of children? Why would a woman be desperate to have a child? Is it because she feels less than a woman if she doesn't conceive? And, if so, who put that nonsense into her head? Why is no one thinking of the child in those situations? Desperate to have a child denotes pretty selfish emotions, in my view. No inocent child should find him or herself in a situation like this. Before women decide to have children, they should get their own emotional house in order. They should be ready to think about someone other than themselves.

I am not real sure you or anyone who wants a baby as desperately as these woman do, could understand, unless you have been there. I went thru infertility treatments with my ex-husband. We were married for 7 years and for 5 of those years we tried everything we could to have a baby. I did get pregnant 3 times but could never carry a pregnancy to term. You are right you do have to have yourself in a good mental state. But it is very difficult to be possitive when all you hear from the doctor is bad news. You are not crazy by any means, just a whole lot hormonal and maybe a little sad each month when again you are not pregnant. I did re-marry a great guy and we talked about adoption from the get go. We took classes thru the state to adopt. But he was not ready then, he was just doing it to make me feel better, and we almost divorced.. About 4 months after we had finished our classes, our case manager called me up one day and told me we had been selected for these 2 beautiful little girls. They were 1 and 2 years old. My husband only wanted one because he already had a daughter. I had been thru a bad adoption situations with my ex-husband and I was feeling the same way again. I really was beginning to wonder if it just was not part of gods plan for me to be a mommy. We did not get the 2 little girls , I will never forget that day in all my life. I had to call and tell the case manager that I wanted the girls abut my husband did not want to do it. That was like to closest I had ever come to becomming a mommy. And again it did not happen. So you see it is a very hard thing to go thru especially when all your friends are having babies all over the place. And it seems like when your trying to get pregnant every where you go all you see are pregnant woman. You see alot of people who do not even want children and they can get pregnant at the drop of hat. I had tried to have a baby for 7 years with my ex-husband and did not have any luck I had severe emdometrosis and I ended up having a hystertomy when I was 26. I am happy to tell you that god did have a plan for me to be a mommy, when I was 38 my husband and I started to talk about adoption again and I told him I had to do this!! With our without him , I love him deeply, but I too desperately wanted to be a mommy. So we had a talk one night , and 3 days later he called me and he said about that adoption thing "I am ready" I was shocked. I had told him I thout it would probably take at least 3 years. we found a birth mom on line and we knew we were have a girl about 4 weeks to the day he called me and told me he was ready!! Our daughter was born at 28 weeks weighing in at a tiny 2lbs. 6ozs. and 14 inches long. She was in the NICU for 10 weeks. She has mild Cerebral Palsey and uses a walker she is now 6 yrs. old and the most beautiful, smart, loving little girl. She has been thru alot, but she takes it all in stride. And I know god was saving her just for us.

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