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December 7, 2007, 9:44 pm PST
12/06 Desperate to Be a Mom
Quote From: mac2marI am a 50-yr old mother of 3. 22 yrs. ago my husband and I desparately wanted children. We exhausted all fertility procedures and succeeded with invitro fertilization 17 yrs.ago. Then several yrs. later, we conceived naturally. Although I love my children deeply, and I spent numerous nights and days crying and in despair to have children, I believe God instills in us a drive to have children at a certain time in our lives. We become desparate. However, this time period, although very painful, does pass and the drive weakens so we can focus on other stages of our lives. Please do not give up or jeopardize a relationship, just to have kids. If you do have children and your husband still does not want them, then you will have brought children into the world and into a divorce. My suggestion would be to act as foster parents for the many children in need of homes. After some time taking care of children, you may decide it's not as important as you thought it would be or your husband might change his mind and reconsider his decision not to have children. Either way, don't rush into anything. If I could redo anything about the time we spent in infertility treatments, it would be to try to not make that our main focus--to enjoy each other and look for joy in life and not dwell on what we didn't have. I am a 26 year old woman that has tried getting pregnant for 5 years... I was told i had pcod.. My hubby and I thought we would do foster care in hopes of adopting. It has its great rewards if you can let go when that child goes back home. My very first placement was a newborn. I picked her up at the hospital when she was 3 days old... I thank God everyday for her. about a week after i got her i was called about a little boy... We fell in love with him... I thought this was Gods way of giving me my family that i dreamed of since i was just a little girl... we where becoming that family we always wanted. You know the family that you are so jealous of b/c you would see them at parks laughing and playing. 6 months later he was taken, It broke me so bad, i layed in bed and cried for weeks cause not only did i have my dreams stolen away due to the pcod. but now i had to give up a piece of my heart too. So yeah foster care is a good thing.. I got the pleasure of being a mom to that precious little guy for 6 great months.... but you need to think of how it will make you feel when that child goes home... Some may be a lot stronger than me.. I just felt like i had my dreams in my hand and it slipped right out. If it wasnt for the baby girl i have I would have given up on life when they took him back.
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