Quote From: byhispiritI agree about all the talk about abusers. But I am happy to say this one thing. My dad stopped abusing 28 years ago. He and my stepmom had been married about a year, when he attempted to slap her . He was 6'1", she was 5'1". She was so shocked, she holed herself up in their extra bedroom, thank goodness it had a half bath. But before she did that she ran to the kitchen and got the biggest butcher knife they had. She stuck it up to my dads face. And called him a bad name and said you B--, i f you ever do that again, you will be a dead man. She stayed holed up for 3 days , only sneaking out at night to eat etc.. when he would be snoring real loud in the next room. He begged and begged for her to come out, would go get her food and sit it on the floor by her door (she would not eat it in case he poisoned it) . Finally she came out, but then would not speak to him for weeks.
I am Glad to say, he has never even attempted to hurt her again.
They have been married 29 years now.
Now my mom was another story. he beat her till he messed her up mentally. At 49 she died from a brain disorder, caused normally from damage done to her brain.
I finally forgave my dad , only because I know he has changed.
WOMEN wake up if they beat you up and then promise they will quit, do not believe them, get out. At 12
I had to stay at home from school to take care of my mom. I finally dropped out at 16 cause I was so far behind. (I have a GED NOW though). She died when I was 18. I am 49 now and married to the same man almost 30 years. I warned him if he ever wanted to hit me to walk out. He never has had to walk out thank goodness. (I did explain about my mom, and added I'd kill a man if he ever hit me ) But my hubbie is like a big gentle bear. Awesome hubbie and dad to our 5 children and now a wonderful grandpa to our grandchildren . Women it takes time to know a man. These short relationships of not knowing a man are so stupid and dangerous. My husband was my best friend for 5 years before we realized we wanted to be married.
Women always remember YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED DECENT!!
Women who go to a kitchen grabbing a butcher knife to protect themselves, also are abusers. You have witnessed a lot, and are denial of abuse. Your message is very mixed regarding abusive relationships. You write about this abuse by your father on your biological mother, then your step mother, yet writing how women need to get out although your father has changed, but your biological mother died probably from a brain disorder perhaps caused from abuse by your father.
I am glad you obtained your GED though, married young, told your husband he better never lay a hand of abuse on you, and then you had your lovely 5 children, including being grandparents by the age of 49. That is great news. I will definitely remember, "YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED DECENT!" "WOMEN wake up if they beat you up and then promise they will quit, do not believe them, get out."
I am very sorry that you grew up with this father though, and two women who are (in my opinion), not only did not get out, but did not think of the children or themselves. "Sneaking out at night" to get something to eat, and then returning to shut the door and be "holed up" is agh, well..... I have no reply to that statement.
