Replies to 'Fears, Phobias and Anxiety Disorders'

Quote From: freebird

I too suffered panic attacks and paralyzing fear for over five years after being a victim of kidnapping and attempted murder by a man I left after a bad relationship. I hid myself away behind closed curtains for years, only venturing outside when I had someone with me. I never spoke to people I didn't know, and I would sweat uncontrollably when I was left alone with a male in a waitingroom, queue or elevator. I was medicated (and still am on anti-depressants) and eventually institutionalised. I didn't take a step forward until the man who assaulted me was jailed, which was when I moved to another State and changed my name. When I changed my "identity" I kept telling myself that the old me had been left behind in the last town. I got a job, made some friends and finally started to live in the "outside" again. That sounds easy huh? Not so. It's baby steps every day. And five years of baby steps amount to a whole hang of a lot of steps. The nightmares still happen frequently, but I'm learning to overcome those. I still stop breathing everytime I see someone who looks similar to my attacker, but I'm slowly starting to listen to the rational side of my consciousness that tells me they aren't the same person. It's a long slow process, but it really can happen. We can only be victims if we allow it. I don't like the "victim" tag. I prefer to now think of myself as a survivor. I overcame something and went on to become stronger than I was before. You can too. Find your smiles again and hang on to them, for nobody can take those away from us unless we let them.