Quote From: shadycat1Just a couple of questions,
1) Where did these so-called "Adults "learn that it was alright to take advantage of others, and to hold threats like not seeing their grandchildren over their heads ?
2)When exactly do we stop "Parenting" our children and allow them to fly on their own,or FORCE them to whichever the case may be ? We will always be their parents, that's true, but shouldn't there come a time where we can develope an adult friendship with our kids.
3)and what happens to these "Adults" if Heaven Forbid, Mom or Dad pass away ? It happens to all of us at some point, and now Jounior has to stand on his own, how much sympathy will the "real world " have for them ?
Why do these people do this, simply because they can they KNOW that Mom and Dad won't refuse them.
I would suggest a contract, stating the rules like a time limit on getting a JOB, SAVINGS and MOVING OUT, and STICK TO IT, stuff happens, and it is nice to have a place to go if you NEED it, but how do those of us who do NOT have the cushion SURVIVE ?
Pat of being an "Adult" is looking after YOURSELF and your OWN FAMILY, not depending on others to do it for you, most of us realize the world owes us NOTHING.
I agree with the idea of putting a time limit on getting a job, savings ect. I think however, the question is what do you do if they do not comply ? Do you stand your ground and insist that they move out and learn the hard way ?
I can tell you from exp. I had to do just that. My Then 19 yr old, refused to get a job after being fired twice, was belligerent and disrespectful when confronted about work, & bills & had a brush or two with legal issues. I finally had enough & insisted he leave after being particularly verbally abusive. It has now been close to 6 months later. He has found a roommate, does not work, goes to community college - has good grades for the classes he does attend, but essentially not much has changed as far as his sense of responsibility. I've told him if he makes an effort and gets and keeps a job, I'll help him with acquiring a car. Still.. nothing. SO... What do you do ? It kills me to see him living like this.
