Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

Personally, I think you need to put a little more faith in yourself and in God.  (Jerimiah "I have plans for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.") It sounds as if you've lost yourself in this relationship (which most of us have all done at one time or another so don't feel bad).  I would suggest you start by looking for new/additional work to become self supporting, take a class (or go to church), or try to make a new friend outside the relationship - in fact try leaving the relationship out of the new friendship - something completely independent from your current boyfriend (don't misunderstand what I'm saying, I am NOT telling you to look for a new boyfriend or to leave your boyfriend - I AM telling you to find something that makes you feel good, a hobby.)  NO one should treat another human the way he's been treating you.  Ask yourself, would you treat him that way?  I can answer that - no you wouldn't, you care for him....  Then why are you allowing him to treat you that way?  (Side note, the verse above is something that gives me personal strength knowing that someone knows what's going on.....)  :O)  I wish you only the best! 

I don't want to san anything to hurt your feelings...but i am going to be blunt with you.  He is not into it.  And it is a 'shut up' ring.  You need to give his ring back (if you haven't done so already) and become completely self supporting.  Either get your current employer to give you more hours or find another job that will give you 35 to 40 hours a week.  Get your own place.  He doesn't have a hard time expressing himself.  His actions are speaking very loudly here and they are speaking for him.  He left without saying good buy to you?  He looks at interent porn and other girls?  And out of the five or so years that you two have been togther he hasn't said 'I love you' a single time?  You cannot make him do something that he doesn't want to do.  And what he doesn't want to do is marry.  He doesn't love you.  He loves himself more than he loves you and he is putting his own interests before yours.  It is obvious that he doesn't want you as a wife.  He wants you as a back up plan.  Move on girl.  He is not worth it.  Your self esteem is suffering here and you are starving yourself of a life filled with all of the lovely things that only you can make them to be.  But the thing here...is while you are creating your own self-supporting life....don't say a word to him about it.  He obviously keeps you out of a lot of apsects of his life.  You should do the same so that he can get a taste of his own medicine.  If he loves you as he says he does, why is it so hard for him to say it?  Don't waste your time anymore with this loser.  PLEASE move on.  Or you will subject yourself to a life that you will hate, regret, and despise him for much later on in life (that is if you married him).  He will more than likely continue his 'habits' regardless of how you feel or think.  I would not even be suprised if he already cheated on you and hid it from you.  He left you downtown and unplugged the phone?  dude...i see abuse in your future if you do not get away.  Please PLEASE move out ASAP.   

I really think you need to get out of this relationship NOW!!!!!  Do not get married or it will just end in divorce.  I realize you love him, but he obviously has some serious issues.  You need to be with someone who will make you feel good about yourself and it sounds to me like you don't feel good about yourself.  You should figure out how to make yourself happy and then everything else will fall in place. 

My boyfriend and I had talked about moving in, he hadn't told me he loved me. I wasn't going to move in with a guy who couldnt say that-we had been together for a year. Without telling him this, he did tell me he loved me. We lived together for a year, marriage was discussed. I had been married before, he hadn't. I decided I couldn't marry him because I found out he was chatting with girls online in a very sexual way. SIx months after this, I moved out. We are still together, but drifting apart. I don't see how you can live with somebody that long who can't even tell you he loves you. It's time you find a man who will treat you the way you ought to be treated. I too had financial reasons why I moved in with him. We had the same agreement, I paid utilities and food. Living on my own has been financially rough, I have had to pick up more hours at work, but it is well worth it. I feel like I have control of my own future. I moved out on good terms, he even helped me move. I didn't want to wait until the relationship had completely died. It's time to find some happiness in your life, because this guy is dragging you down.