Replies to 'Giving and Receiving Support'

Hi Buffy~

I lost my grandmother June 2003 and then 7 months later lost my grandpa. (1/04) I have been devastated, they were my life! I too have days where I miss them so bad that I can't stand it! Believe me I understand fully and know how you feel*Wish I could help!!!!

I know that life has to go on, and we will some day see our loved ones again!

I also just lost my Mother and Mother in law with in 6 wks. from one another... I miss my Mom sooooooooo bad!!!! I ask everyday WHY did she have to go and leave this world, she was only 56, and I want my Mom back!!!!

I just thought I'd post and let you know there are others out there that know what you are going thru. Keep your head up! (i need to practice what I preach) ha ha

take care... Sam

hey buffy, i can't relate with losing a grandparent, but i have lost people in my life. it isn't easy. i recently lost my baby. i was 14 weeks pregnant and i had a misscarriage. i know about losing someone close. i am sorry for your loss, and i'm not sure i can give any advice as i am grieving right now, but maybe it will help to know that it is ok to remember him. and it isn't disrespectful to not be sad anymore. but don't worry if you are. i'm sure grandparents are hard people to lose. have you been to the grave? that might help you accept that he's gone. did you go to the funeral? if not, that could be a reason that you can't get over it. also, "get over it" isn't really the term i would use. i don't think getting over it is what you need to do. maybe just accepting the fact that he lived a long life and he is at peace now would be a good way to look at it. i don't know. death sux, but everyone goes through it at one time or another. i don't mean that to sound cold. it's just a fact of life. sorry i can't be of much help. i hope you are able to accept this at some point so you can go on with your life. again, i'm sorry for your loss. jenna

Hi Buffy,

 

I know exactly how you feel.  My grandpa died just a month ago and I can't believe that he's gone either.  I know it's only been a month but I do know what you are going through, it's hard.  I have some regrets about it all, like the day before he died (he died on father's day) I was working and my mom came in to my work to tell me that she was going to go visit him, and now that I think of it, I should have too after I was finished, but I didn't and now I wish I had, you know, just to say sorry one more time.  All my family members tell me that he knew without a doubt that I loved him, and I'm sure he did but in my heart I wish I could just tell him one more time. 

 

I guess all I can say Buffy is that, it's normal to feel this way and that it will take lots of time, especially if you were used to seeing him a lot.  Just remember all the great times you have had with him and treasure them, because that's something that will never leave you. 

 

One thing that helps me is I write my grandpa letters, not every day but some days, just to tell  him what I'm up to, or how I'm feeling, basically just anything that I would say to him as if he were here.  Also, try spending a day with your grandma if you can.  That seems to help as well, at least it does for me.

 

Well, I hope I have helped you some.  My thoughts are with you. 

 

 

Hey Buffy,

 

I lost my grandmother almost 10 years ago and some days is still feels like it happened yesterday.  She was also like a mother to me when I was young.  I won't give you that crap about time healing wounds and all that, it doesn't.  About the only thing time has given me is the ability to cope with the loss.  The other thing time gave me was a dulling of the pain to a bearable level.  I still miss her terribly everyday, but I can also remember a lot of the good times with small smiles now as well.

 

She died on my dad's birthday my sophomore year in high school.  I still remember that day vividly.  I don't think I'll ever forget it.  My dad was about to totally break down and lose all control, so I had to step up and be the grown-up for him.  It took me over two years before I could feel anything other than anger.  After that it took me even longer before I could talk about her to anyone without crying my eyes out.

 

So, yes I know how you feel.  I've been there, I've felt that emptiness inside.  And eventually, slowly, that pain was lessened and became tolerable.  But like I said, that happened to me about 10 years ago.