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Topic : 02/13 Love Smart Island, Part 1

Number of Replies: 124
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, February 10, 2006, 12:43:16 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Love is in the air, as Dr. Phil sends single men and women sailing to Love Smart Island to find Mr. and Ms. Right. First, Dr. Phil  surprises the successful and attractive women and introduces them to bachelors who are ready to settle down. As they spend three days dancing, picnicking and talking, will love connections be made? Find out why Dr. Phil has to make a special trip to the island to rescue two women, and what happens when the men get to choose one woman to spend the afternoon with. Also, meet three other bachelors who say their appearance is keeping them from finding a girlfriend. If you're unlucky in love, you'll learn how to take control of your love life and find the one you want by loving smart. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 13, 2006, 3:17 pm CST

Agreed, but on the inverse side of that.....

Quote From: lh2000

They all want a roll in the hay they are hard wired for that.  They have lots of other wants too, but the real question is: 

  

Where do you meet men that acutally have and are willing to offer something you want in return? 

I'm a man, succesful, and in my mid-30's.  Divorced, after 13 years of marrage, and have two boys, 15, and 10.  Funny.....  I can't seem to find any WOMEN that aren't hard-wired for the perverbial roll-in-the-hay (and maybe a nice, free dinner).....  I just want someone (psudo) normal that wants to settle down, and have a life.  I've tried all of the dating services, churches, bars, etc......  Pretty simple with me....  Just want a connection....  Spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical.....  Maybe that's more than 'most' men, but still funny that everybody thinks that women are the only ones having problems finding a connection with someone. 
 
February 13, 2006, 3:18 pm CST

I agree

Quote From: brrowland

I am 41.  I am also your "Average Jane".  What about women like me?  All that was on the show were younger women.  I was disappointed in the women that were chosen to be on the show.  Where was the maturity level.  These were successful women?

There seems to be a shift in the age of singles out there. Many of us are finding ourselves divorced after twenty or thirty years of marriage. I find nothing that addresses the special dilemmas that presents for the more mature, less than model perfect woman. 

I'll bet the response would be overwhelming if Dr Phil would have a special edition for those who are in their forties, fifties, and older that are single and looking to find someone. 

 
February 13, 2006, 3:21 pm CST

I have to agree bar scene? Not for me drunks.

I am a 38 year old that is divorced and is looking for mister right?   If he is out there?  I have to agree with everyone Dr. Phil I love your shows but this one is for the birds.  You put women on the show that are attractive, young and has no real life.  I am an average women that get frustrated with the dating scene and even the internet dating.  All the men are looking for is sex and whatever else, not a relationship.  
 
February 13, 2006, 3:22 pm CST

Ditto

Dr. Phil...I have read your book. Am not a wall flower. Don't have a problem carrying on a conversation, am upbeat, fit, gregarious, childless, a savvy business woman, know who I am, know what I want, am attractive AND I'm 53. I don't need an adonis. An attractive (translate NOT the Elephant man), successful (translate HAS A JOB) guy with BRAINS (translate BRAINS) would be nice. Yet dating at this stage in my life is turning out to be a nightmare. I go out on a date, the guy tells me he is smitten with me, we make a date for Saturday ... then... he stands me up! What gives???

Would like to see a Love Smart Island show with us "slightly" older gems!

Dating is infinely easier in one's twenties and thirties. If you want to make a point about your dating philosophy do a show with us.

Also, I understand your comment about the choice made regarding the ratio of men to women used on today's show. But tell me....wouldn't it be interesting to see just HOW things would go if the ratio was more men to women. Say 18 men to 5 or 6 women in the 50s age bracket. After all LIFE gives us the 18 women to 3 men ratio that is already frustrating. Don't think we have much to learn about the fact that we women out number men.

It would be refreshing to have the tables turned for a change. And that is a show I'd like to see!
 
February 13, 2006, 3:25 pm CST

I need help

Okay, here's my problem and I need some advise.  I'm active in the community (worked the phone banks for the local telethon, road clean-up etc), I'm active in my church, and a very active Boy Scout Leader as well as an active Order of the Arrow member (honor society of scouting, lots of men).  My problem is people, both men and women, already think I'm married.  They are very surprised once they get to know me on a more personal level that I'm not married.  I've been single for 15 years and haven't had a decent relationship in that time.  Haven't really had a date in more then 12 years.  When I've asked why they think I'm married, it's usually a vague answer like I'm content or strong or my children are so well adjusted.  How do I change the non-verbal message I'm obviously sending?    

  

 
February 13, 2006, 3:25 pm CST

I beg to differ.....

Quote From: chaosditto

I'm 48, have a busy life, and am not pretty like those in the show. Guys are visual creatures, it's their nature. But there are some real sweethearts out here just waiting for a chance!
Guys, yes, are visual creatures, but there is allot more to some of us that what people may think..... 
 
February 13, 2006, 3:26 pm CST

true

Quote From: amelia1

I watched today's show because I was interested to learn what I need to know about dating and to understand how I am perceived by the men I meet. While this subject is intriguing, I don't feel it applied to me and my situation, nor does it seem applicable to any of the others who have responded so far. It would seem that there is a great need for some "Dr. Phil words of wisdom" for those of us who are over 40, raised families, had successful careers and been in long term relationships who now find themselves single again and faced with the daunting task of DATING once again!
but like you said in our 40's but still have kids at home that makes it hard to date as well and when you have not been in the dateing sean in a wile what do you do then. kids new to the dateing thing were do you turn
 
February 13, 2006, 3:28 pm CST

It's actually very sad.

Quote From: kleesun

 . . . or even some advice for "ordinary" twenty-/thirtysomethings?  I'm never going to look like any of these girls, I work full-time, and I take classes part-time (online, so I can't even meet anyone at school).  I live in a suburb with no activities (I'm not a bar type), near a large city in which it wouldn't be advisable to stay out late alone.  I can't afford to move and I've been "out of it" so long I basically don't know anyone my own age, romantically or platonically.  There is only one small church of my denomination in the area and I've already met the one guy my age who goes there (and it didn't go anywhere).  Where the heck do you start? 

  

He always picks beautiful but ridiculously high-maintenance, ridiculously picky girls.  How about some advice for people who have already gotten past being hung up on what shoes a guy wears, how much he makes, and his college GPA, and are still lost?  

 I think the portrayal of women vs men is terribly old school. It suggests that  women are more of a commodity vs a true compatible companion. The bald, short and heavier males were basically told they could have the women they aspire to have....so what is that exactly? A physically beautiful young woman? The women picked were mostly pretty and not paired in equal numbers w/the men .....the men were average (with the exception of 1 maybe) then the last 3 men introduced...geez. Basically what I took from it was that women are too picky if they have some physical preferences, yet this is normal for a male. Even when Robin was used as an example of how well Dr.Phil did, it was obviously from a physcial pespective or a physical example due to the fact nothing profound came out of her mouth or was mentioned "about" her by him...actually I'm not sure if she even spoke. It makes me wonder about the women who are single, attractive but more on the average side, older women and what they should expect? I question if  Robin had been in some past tragic accident with a bit of physical scaring as a result or anything else, would she have been so proudly introduced?
 
February 13, 2006, 3:34 pm CST

Right on Sista!

Quote From: love_3

Hi, the show was great, but, I am 54 years young and wish the guests were a little older. The guests are at an age where they have looks and great bodies going for them. I am talking the men and the ladies. At my age, including the men, we just don't look as sharp as they do. I am told I am pretty, but , I don't see it. Please, I know, there are some lucky ones who do, but, they don't seem to be the ones having trouble.      Or so I thought, until I heard Paula Abdul.  Dr. Phil, if a beautiful lady like Paula is having trouble, I am really scared that I may be alone all the rest of my life.!  I have had some pretty scary experiences on computer dating, and my kids are scared for me. Please give me some avenues to search.  Thanks for helping us!!

 Here's the thing. I'm about to turn 46. I'm looking, interested in changing my ways, but I'm 46. Online dating on two different sites (including "Match", Dr. Phil), were both very demoralizing experiences. Men my age don't want women in their 40s, OK? Let's get that point out right away. 

  

So, I buy Love Smart. Read it and think, "Yippe! Dr. Phil is my hero! He'll show me the way!" I go to a local bookstore chain, snoop around , always keeping a watchful eye. All I see is one guy who looks kinda ' like a homeless guy or a mad scientist - no men even in my age bracket and anyhoo, how can you tell if they're single? Also, you can't  assume they are when they're in their 40s anyway. Yup, I'm afraid of making a fool of myself and do you blame me - I mean those of you at my "advanced stage" in life? Do you? 

  

So then I'm watching today and all I see are young whipper-snappers in their '20s - all good looking. Give me a break! Yup, I should have had this book when I was in my 20s, yes siree. Problem is, I'm not in my '20s. I'm in my '40s and like everyone else, Dr. Phil and his producers are looking to massage the young crowd, not oldsters like me.  

  

Notice who gets on because of physical "irregularities"? Men - men who are ; overweight, bald or short. What about women who are overweight, short or....maybe "conventionally plain"? And...dare I ask...what about "older women"? Just like everywhere else..we just don't $ell, sista's. Sorry but this time, Dr. Phil has let me down. 

 
February 13, 2006, 3:40 pm CST

02/13 Love Smart Island, Part 1

Quote From: windsailor

Dr. Phil...I have read your book. Am not a wall flower. Don't have a problem carrying on a conversation, am upbeat, fit, gregarious, childless, a savvy business woman, know who I am, know what I want, am attractive AND I'm 53. I don't need an adonis. An attractive (translate NOT the Elephant man), successful (translate HAS A JOB) guy with BRAINS (translate BRAINS) would be nice. Yet dating at this stage in my life is turning out to be a nightmare. I go out on a date, the guy tells me he is smitten with me, we make a date for Saturday ... then... he stands me up! What gives???

Would like to see a Love Smart Island show with us "slightly" older gems!

Dating is infinely easier in one's twenties and thirties. If you want to make a point about your dating philosophy do a show with us.

Also, I understand your comment about the choice made regarding the ratio of men to women used on today's show. But tell me....wouldn't it be interesting to see just HOW things would go if the ratio was more men to women. Say 18 men to 5 or 6 women in the 50s age bracket. After all LIFE gives us the 18 women to 3 men ratio that is already frustrating. Don't think we have much to learn about the fact that we women out number men.

It would be refreshing to have the tables turned for a change. And that is a show I'd like to see!

I agree totally, Let Do It Dr. Phil, how about a Love Smart Island show for us woman over 40. I like the show very much but the whole while i was watching i thought how great it would be if these were woman that were "Gems". 

 
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