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Topic : 02/14 Love Smart Island, Part 2

Number of Replies: 194
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Created on : Friday, February 10, 2006, 12:47:04 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

It's brutal. It's cutthroat. It's competitive. It leaves you wounded, scarred and absolutely exhausted. We're talking about LOVE! A group of frustrated singles set sail for a getaway on Catalina Island so they can learn how to start "loving smart." Three women, who admit they're very picky, agree to an experiment to see what would happen if they're unable to judge a book by its cover. With blindfolds on, they go out on dates with men who think their appearances might not measure up with what women are looking for. Will these nice guys finish last when the blindfolds are removed? Then, Dillon and Donna have been dating for two years, yet she can't get over her insane jealousy. Will she be able to get her green-eyed monster under control before it runs him off? Plus, the latest on the love triangle among Todd, Hayley and Chad, and your chance to meet these eligible singles! Share your thoughts.

 

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February 18, 2006, 2:51 pm CST

Well.........???

Quote From: jda1976

Todd is very attactive in looks, but definately hot also in his personality.  As a single mother of three young children, I am looking for a man like Todd.  His romantic gestures were perfect.  A single wildflower in the spur of the moment is much more meaningful than a dozen roses to me.  That is one thing I overlooked  as important in deciding to marry, he never did anything to make me feel special to him.  Even though I came right out and gave him examples of what I wanted, he just didn't have it in him.   

  

Todd, if you are reading this, you should be affended of Colleen not realizing what a meaniful moment that was.  You will make the right woman "melt ".   

Well.........I agree his personality was great from what was shown on TV. I really like to get to know someone better before I sum them up in one hour of edited film.  I would hope.......HOPE......he is as charming as he appears to be!  

Maybe Colleen was nervous like she said and just really didn't know what to do??? If not???...then that's not the right type of girl for the Toddster!  I have been known to keep things like fortunes from the cookies on the date, wine bottle corks, concert/movie tikets, cards, flowers (you can make them into potpourri), etc. She just may not be into that!  

Sherrie in TX 

 
February 19, 2006, 12:13 pm CST

Lab rat talk........

Quote From: marcys

This is about Dawn and Dylan--she was a gorgeous model who was so insecure she always thinks Dylan's going out with other women, or wants to. Dr. Phil, you told her it was all in her head and she had to get over it. Which was reasonable--until we saw DYLAN act like a complete schmuck with other women. He talked all about Dawn and her insecurities, as a way to make himself seem more attractive. He was building himself up at her expense. Then, when she was understandably upset by this, you told her again that it was all her. You asked Dylan why he had talked about her to the other women, but he gave a lame answer and you let him get away with it. I sure hope Dawn got more help from you or help elsewhere, because she's thinking she's the crazy one when her boyfriend is very very sneaky and smarmy!

Listen, if I had been Dawn, I would not have needed anything else but that hidden camera film to break up w/that guy! It's one thing when they do that stuff behind your back, but when you see it right in front of your eyes?????  I would have said, "Dylan, you better see if those girls still want to have drinks w/you because I'm outta here!...............Next!" 

Sherrie in TX 

 
February 19, 2006, 12:34 pm CST

Manipulation!!

Quote From: sunnycat

Dillon & Donna - It is totally inappropriate for a committed/married man to flirt with any woman that is not his significant other/wife.  My husband (of 9 years) is a flirt.  He has always been a flirt, I knew this when I married him.  Didn't have a problem with it until last year when he started hiding his cell phone from me.  When I checked his phone he had a voice mail from a woman that said "Just wanted to hear your voice, I love you." He had a text from another woman telling him how sexy he was and what type of lingerie she was wearing.  There was another woman at our local grocery store whose husband called me  to say that she was having inappropriate conversations with my husband and they were divorcing because of it.  I talked to all three of these women, they all told me the same thing.....HE NEVER SAID HE WAS MARRIED.  I was crushed and heartbroken.  When confronted, he said he did nothing wrong.  He was just talking to all these women and they all took what he said the wrong way.  He said he loved me and would never do anything physical with any of these women.  They all said nothing physical had happened.  How am I supposed to believe that or anything else he says??  He says he is the way he is (a flirt) and he won't change.    We went to a marriage counselor who told me I had to get over it and not be so insecure!!   What my husband did was 100% wrong!!  He refuses to own up to what he did or even tell me why he feels the need to flirt with other women.  Instead of telling me that he is sorry he hurt my feelings and that he will not talk to other women inappropriately, he tells me I don't know what I'm talking about and that it is my problem because I am insecure and have low self-esteem!!  Dr. Phil should have addressed the fact that Dillon was acting inappropriately with other women as well as telling Donna to do something to feel better about herself.

Your husband was not cheating on you "physically" but he was cheating on you meantally and emotionally! Why wasn't he having those conversations w/you??? I'll bet he said more sweet things, flirty things, romantic things to those women on the phone than he ever does to you! He is manipulating them emotionally and abusing you by way of neglect. He is neglecting to say and do those things w/you and ONLY you!!! The VOWS SAY FORSAKING ALL OTHERS!!!!  Women are so much more emotional about everything than men are.  It hurts worse for them to cheat on you emotionally/mentally because the bruises are on the inside where only you and God can see them.  If he wasn't doing anything wrong, then he wouldn't hide his cell phone and that other man wouldn't be divorcing his wife! Sometimes, as women, the source of our insecurity is "THE MAN" in our life. Whether it is through neglect (passive aggressive behavior) or out in the open actions........it is all still wrong. 

There's been a lot of talk on this particular board about God and Christianity concerning men. I know that in the Bible, God commanded MEN to LOVE Women!!! He never commands WOMEN to LOVE Men!!! He told us to submit to them. Submit means to come under the protection of the man.  Your husband is not protecting your heart, emotions, marriage or feelings.  You can't submit to someone when you don't feel safe with them.  God told men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Christ died for the church.  

In my best Forrest Gump Voice..........."That's all I have to say about that!" 

Hope maybe some of this helps your emotional turmoil. You are in my prayers. 

Sherrie in TX 

 
February 19, 2006, 1:00 pm CST

I just couldn't leave this one alone!

Quote From: jim1970

There are several reasons why I'm not interested in a woman who is my age-or even in her thirties, period. 

  

For starters, because I  have not many opportunties in life, I haven't seen as much of the world as I would like.  I don't want to be around someone who has been there and done that because she is only thinking of her biological clock.  She's been to Rio; been to Atlantic City, been to Paris-and all with other guys. 

  

So, now that she's settling down, she thinks I'm a great sucker, excuse me, "catch". 

  

I still want to explore, but she'll call me immature because I'm not ready for kids, while she is.   

  

No.  A girl  in her twenties hasn't had as much experience and still has the desire to explore what's around the next corner.  Plus, she's better looking. 

  

I don't want leftovers.  I want someone who is fresh. 

Hello Jim! I'm Sherrie. I just want to know how many older women you have dated/been around??? I'm 40 but get mistaken for late 20's early 30's.  I too like you want a man who is as young as I am, but would not rule out a man who was older than me if he was fun, good-looking, smart, adventurous and all the good things you mentioned in your post.  

However, I do want to address some things you said in your post.  

Jim's Myth Busters: 

1. I have never been to Rio, Atlantic City or Paris by myself........much less w/other guys! I would love to go w/or w/out someone special right along w/my biological clock ticking or muted! 

2. I personally...........and probably many other mature women ..........would not view you as a "sucker"  or  a good catch because of your immaturity! It reeks in the things you say! 

3. Yes, I would like a child,but that is not my main focus in life! I am still able to explore! 

4. I am NOT let me repeat.........NOT in any way shape or form LEFTOVERS!!!! (YOUR IMMATURITY SHOWING AGAIN)  I am seasoned, sure of what I want, not fickle, not a game player, and probably way more than you can handle! 

I speak for all the 30's and older on these boards when I say................you don't know what you are missing! 

I have dated 3 younger men. They all did not want to break up. I did!! Yes, they were immature, but not in the ways you are. Thank God! 

  

 
February 19, 2006, 1:27 pm CST

hi

Quote From: singer7

I agree with you, but most of the ones you are describing are either married or dead!  

Sherrie in TX 

not so!  theres still  christian singles out there!   you  have to   pray  for god  to  send you  the right man.  when the time is right he will send him
 
February 19, 2006, 5:41 pm CST

02/14 Love Smart Island, Part 2

Quote From: ladybug11

not so!  theres still  christian singles out there!   you  have to   pray  for god  to  send you  the right man.  when the time is right he will send him
to me Christian often means alot of hang ups and alot of petty rules.......  I think I would rather find just a normal person who perhaps has "the fear of God...."  but isn't all controlled by another man's perception of what Christianity should be....  they just can't relax.....  and often times I think you will meet alot of good people with good manners and Christian principles who don't go to all the meetings..... while maybe the ones who go to too many meetings  are stressed out.   I think also on a 2nd point a GUYS CAREER is a very important deciding point.  IF I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THEIR JOB I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...... and that is my opinion.....  So career to me is an immediate Yes or No.... don't collect $200.00 and don't put your house on Board Walk or Park Place.
 
February 19, 2006, 6:53 pm CST

If I had a dollar for every......

Quote From: ladybug11

not so!  theres still  christian singles out there!   you  have to   pray  for god  to  send you  the right man.  when the time is right he will send him

If I had a dollar for every time I've prayed for "the right one to come in to my life at the right time" .............AND AND AND a dollar for every time someone has said "when the time is right He will send him"????........I WOULD BE FILTHY RICH RIGHT NOW.................NO, NO, ........... I WOULD BE KICKING FILTHY RICH'S BUTT ABOUT UMMMM...................10 ...............NO 20 YEARS AGO!!!!! 

Sherrie in TX  

 
February 19, 2006, 10:51 pm CST

I found the show to be sad

These women have no idea how lucky they are to be in their prime.  I'm 37 and as much as I enjoyed my 20's, I spent most of that time focusing on college, graduate school and career and it didn't even OCCUR to me to start looking for a husband until I was 32.  Now, I get plenty of dates and always seem to have a boyfriend but men my age seem to want younger and younger women.   Ladies, please don't waste the best years of your life focusing on superficial things.   My best boyfriends have always been the ones that I wasn't initially attracted to but I gave them a chance, let them into my heart and they became more and more attractive.  So, my advice to all the women in their 20s is this.  Don't blow it.  Don't overlook someone for superficial reasons because you could miss out on the best thing that will ever happen to you.  Now that I want to find a husband and be a mother, I regret the way I behaved in my 20s.  I'm sure a lot of single women my age will tell you the same thing.  Happy hunting. 
 
February 20, 2006, 2:25 pm CST

Judging the girls on the show...

Quote From: ajbelle

I can understand how you may perceive us to be "self centered snots" and "shallow." We all went on the show because we know that this is not the way to go about dating and were hoping to learn something from that. I don't like the way this made us look because we are all successful, fun, intelligent and beautiful women (I don't mean just on the outside but inside as well.) Unfortunately, the only thing you got to see was our flaws, but I guarantee you if you asked anyone that met us on the show or in life, they would tell you that we have a lot going for us. Everyone of the girls on this show has had their heartbroken and has learned how to take care of themselves. I know that looks aren't everything and am learning from this experience by broadening my outlook on dating. We all know how difficult dating can be and it doesn't matter if you are in your 20's or 60's (it's just different in every age.) I am looking for a good guy that is honest, educated, kind-hearted and as secure with himself as I am with myself (still must love my dog and I don't care if he has a cat- hahaha!) I do have certain standards but shouldn't everyone. And for the comment that my mom should be embarrassed that I am her daughter. My mom couldn't be prouder because I admitted that I am not perfect and I have issues with dating ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!  

  

I will say that this was one of the best experiences of my life and I thank Dr. Phil and his staff for allowing me to participate. I met the best group of guys and girls and I know we will all be friends for life! I miss everyone so much! 

  

January and Kim- thank you for taking the beating with me. I know what wonderful people you are and anyone that truly knows us will agree with me. 

  

Remember that we filmed for 3 days straight and all anyone saw was about 15 minutes. So be careful judging other people on what you see on TV.  

  

Thanks for watching! 

  

P.S. My boyfriend's moms always love me! 

  

You all placed yourself at the mercy of our keyboards, and you knew that going in. 

You're not a victim, you were a willing participant in exposiing your nasty attitudes.  

  

If we got the 'wrong idea' from 15 minutes of three days of film, ask yourself why 

there was even 15 minutes of such material to use in the first place. 

  

In three days, ten days time you would not hear me speaking to people the way any of the 

girls on the show did. 

  

Your behavior may be peaches and sparkles at other times, but that won't make up 

for the rotten attitudes you display otherwise. You should be nice ALL the time, not 

selectively so. Hopefully you will have this immaturity out of your system before having  

children.  

  

No sorrow, no pity. You signed up for this.  

  

  

 
February 20, 2006, 4:31 pm CST

Good thing it wasn't you!!!

Quote From: wuviee

  

You all placed yourself at the mercy of our keyboards, and you knew that going in. 

You're not a victim, you were a willing participant in exposiing your nasty attitudes.  

  

If we got the 'wrong idea' from 15 minutes of three days of film, ask yourself why 

there was even 15 minutes of such material to use in the first place. 

  

In three days, ten days time you would not hear me speaking to people the way any of the 

girls on the show did. 

  

Your behavior may be peaches and sparkles at other times, but that won't make up 

for the rotten attitudes you display otherwise. You should be nice ALL the time, not 

selectively so. Hopefully you will have this immaturity out of your system before having  

children.  

  

No sorrow, no pity. You signed up for this.  

  

  

I sure am glad I won't be judged by someone like you!  You should be careful how you judge people.................often that comes back to bite you in the butt! 

 
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