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Topic : A Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Love Smart

Number of Replies: 240

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Created on : Monday, February 13, 2006, 11:47:44 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil sits down with one of America's biggest stars, a woman who's single and sick of it. Paula Abdul's extends a rare invitation inside her home ... and heart. Follow her as she chooses one lucky date from 10 bachelors hand-picked by Dr. Phil. Plus, Rob juggles so many women, he says his social life could be a full-time job. After years of playing the field, he wonders if it's time to settle down. Is an emotional block keeping Rob single, or is his playboy lifestyle simply too much fun? See what happens when Rob’s girlfriends learn the truth about him. Against the backdrop of an old-time drive-in theater, Dr. Phil conveys a timeless message. He shows singles and couples alike how to stop loving dumb and start loving smart.

Find out what happened on the show.

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celeste06

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February 15, 2006, 4:53 am PST

A Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Love Smart

Quote From: drphilfan5

As a happy, older married man (45) I thought I would express my opinions. I think that a lot of single people (both male and female ) are totally unrealistic in the expectations of their potential dates, as far as appearance is concerned.

As a male ,I can honestly say ,we as a gender tend to be more visually attracted to the opposite sex than women, but not by as much as women would have us believe. I believe that it is important to find the person you are dating to be relatively attractive. Yet I think a single person has to be honest with themselves as far as their own physical appearance and look for someone in their own "league" ,so to speak.

You gave the impression that you are an average looking person, yet you seem annoyed or angry when you said,"Pleee-ze! The men with whom she was paired up were gorgeous and obviously above the norm. They wouldn’t give average looking women a second look. Who are you trying to kid here? " I don't think that Dr Phil was trying to kid anyone. What happened, is what is to be expected. Not many people will date people less attractive than themselves, yet almost everyone expects to find some one to date that is way more attractive than themselves. This is unrealistic and leads to much heartache and loneliness.

I also think that another part of the problem is becoming "intimate" before marriage. It is a well known fact , that a lot of men pretend to "love" to get sex while women tend to give sex to get love. While having sex before marriage doesn't prove he doesn't love you , a man willing to wait for sex until marriage is a "definate" sign that he loves you. Women are definately their own worst enemy. I truly feel for your pain and hope you find someone that you can love and that will respect you, like all people deserve!!

I love it! Thank you for confirming exactly what I've said here. You men are certainly worth waiting for! For the record, I don't know what "league" I'm in exactly - unless you mean the "over-the-hill and average-looking league". I'm open to anyone but the problem is these days, it's the men who don't seem as receptive to women in their own age group, (mid 40s) I thought I made myself pretty clear on that one. BTW, I don't subscribe to the "one-night stand club" either - which is probably another reason why I'm still single. Men like you make me laugh. Thanks for making my day!

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lcso298

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Stressed

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February 15, 2006, 5:24 am PST

Great show

It seems to pick up on the things that I have and still going though in my life. Rob is the type of person who makes guys like myself have to work 2 times as hard to win the trust of the lady that I'm dating. It real easy for me to become friends with that lady but they still have that fear in their emotions that "is this guy a player". Well I beleive that when a person rather it is a Man or a woman speaks the words that they have to back those words up with actions. Words are just that words.

The last few women I have dated have had bad relationships in their past and I'm no different. Yes I have made mistakes in my life but I have truly tried to change my actions of the past with the hope that I can find that special lady to share my friendship with and grow one day at a time and try to build that relationship with. I don't consider myself the best looking guy in the world but I do consider myself honest and a person who treasure a true friendship.

Now it's time to work on me....

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dahlia23

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Happy

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frustrated

February 15, 2006, 5:41 am PST

Tired of Popeye's BS

Quote From: popeyengl

I too dated a man for a few months while he continued to sneak around juggling many other woman at the same time. I dumped him. One year later he called again and I got sucked in AGAIN. Dated him again only this time for 2.5 years while he continued the same pattern. Recycling previous dates and travelling to meet internet woman. Oh yeah he is on the net ladies ...Beware. His profile is amazing!! All this energy!! No wonder he was "so busy." We had many discussions about his "juggling" behaviour and it continued. I gave him the option of simply being honest in the realationship; to advise me anytime if he would like to date others while dating me so that I could at least make an INFORMED decision about continuing our relationship. Honesty was just not possible for this old fart. He got caught red handed several times and played the ongoing "oh so sorrowful " manipulation game. The question is not what is "wrong" with him, but rather what is "wrong " with me. I view myself as an intelligent, attractive, ambitious, fun, thoughtful and well deserving of a man who treats me with respect. Wish me luck in Canada. Dr. Phil.......HELP Any show , any time...I'm Yours.

I met a man that age online, ( wrote Dr Phil a letter about him last night). I can tell you he was a bodybuilder, if even that is true, a nice looking guy, actually went by the name popeye for a while,. He is married, follows me around on the net like I am his one true love. Thing is, I like the guy, He has a nice personality, I just dont know what part is real and what part is BS. I know he lies to me, he knows that i know he lies and he still does it. I dont understand what makes a person lie so much and so often. I have confronted him and he says, " in case I lied..."

That just insults my intelligence to no end, makes me hate him for about a week, then I forgive him. I just want him to not lie, I dont lie to him, but I cant change him. I made it clear it was over if all he did was lie. What baffles me is if I am such a pain to him, why would he take my old Yahoo! ID after I deleted it, hes weird, and maybe even a stalker, Im beginning to wonder...

I think that men like that have low self esteem and take it out on their friends, lovers, etc, otherwise they wouldnt lower themselves to such misrepresentation. A fantasy life is fine, if you dont drag unwilling people into it with you. Be honest, Men, please!! Do yourself and the women in your life a favor, be real or be gone.

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popeyengl

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Good

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frustrated

February 15, 2006, 5:51 am PST

yes... I agree..where is the older generation

Quote From: jeanneem

Yep. Over 50. I want love and companionship just like everyone else does. Some issues are timeless. Some issues are different. One very annoying thing is that it seems everything is geared towards young lovers. Dr. Phil: do something!

Where are the intelligent, respectful, emotionally solid, addiction free, healthy, ambitious, well travelled old guys? Oh yeah silly me............they are happily married or dead!

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amoretto8

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Happy

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February 15, 2006, 5:52 am PST

Voluntarily?

Quote From: fredguyman

Very true. But isn't it interesting that these women voluntarily enetered into the relationship? Our intuition is present for a reason. As a "very good looking" guy who got passed over many times for the "stronger guy" (e.g. more aggressive about getting them into bed) I find it hard to believe that these women didn't get exactly what their subconscious mind had already set them up for. In other words, "sexually addicted" guys are offered a buffet by women pre-programmed to the exact things a guy such as described knows how to deliver.

You may find it hard to believe that we didn't set ourselves up, but I can assure you that is not the case, and that Rob is not a sex addict.

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dannzil

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Nervous

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February 15, 2006, 5:52 am PST

BRAVO

Just wanted to say BRAVO Dr. Phil. I loved the Paula Abdul special. Will we get to find out what happens between Paula and Hal?

Cheers.

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amoretto8

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Happy

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February 15, 2006, 5:54 am PST

Dr. Phil

Quote From: ggunter339

Come on Dr Phil, you totally missed it. Rob is sexually addicted. I was Rob at 25, i know is not capable of an intimate relationship at this point. Why were you giving the girls such a hard time? Rob lied. Why blame them? People should be able to trust others. if they lie, what can we do. Sure be smarter next time, look with open eyes. Quit blaming the victims. Lets quit calling them "players". i know many sexually addicted men. They do not know that sexual addiction is even their problem. They mix porn on the internet with affairs at work. Affairs are just covers for sex and sex addition.

i would be glad to share my story to help other men understand their problem is not the affairs.

Glenn

I don't think Dr. Phil missed it, he totally pointed out that Rob wasn't even anywhere near the point of being committed. I truly do not feel he gave us a hard time, and he never once blamed us.

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boaty1

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Happy

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February 15, 2006, 5:57 am PST

Ending

I see it asked here a few times, but no answer to Rob's commitment challenge. Newly single from a man of 6 years (know for 20) that used to have the same problem with women. Now, he can be with one woman, but has difficulty still with even his friends in making a commitment. Example would be even if you ask him for dinner, the answer is, "maybe, I'll call you later". He has been married a few times and thought all along it was an effort to be sure, but this man even in love struggles daily with it. What is Dr. Phil's answer to help this issue with Rob? Is this forum just to post or are answers forthcoming?

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usc2006

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Happy

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February 15, 2006, 6:01 am PST

Teenage daughter thinks.....

I love when my teen daughter watches Dr. Phil. She can be picky about men and is just learning about dating smart, etc. Last night while watching the Love Smart special she said, "Hey, you know what, Dr. Phil is HOT!" I told her he most certainly is!

So...she GETS it! She is loving smart already :)

By the way, to Dr. Phil and the producers of the show....last night's special was spellbinding! We would love to see more primetime specials from you.

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amoretto8

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Happy

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hopeful

February 15, 2006, 6:01 am PST

Don't feel sorry for me :)

Quote From: lovetko

Wow, I feel so sorry for Anna.I fell in love twice via the internet, but both guys were friends of friends and members of my religious community, so I thought I could trust them. They were both liars who manipulated me, and I was a shocked as Anna was upon learning the truth. I don't know what else to do. I am 32 and right now I have no desire to be in a relationship. I don't trust men. And believe me, I don't have all those issues that men like to complain about. I grew up in a strong family with a wonderful father, so I'm not looking for love to fill a void. I have a great deal of love in my life, I was just hoping to share my heart with the right man. It makes me sad, but I give up....

Don't give up :) Although the dating scene is hard, regardless of what everyone else says on here, it is hard for EVERYONE, despite age, appearances, etc. Rob and I have been friends for a while, and he simply was not ready for any sort of committment. Was it tough finding out on national TV? Yeah! But was I home watching it? Of course not, I was out with my valentine having a fabulous evening. The perfect ending to it was coming home to watch the show that I had taped, and seeing myself realize and not be fooled, I felt stronger and proud of myself. What else can you do but put yourself out there in the quest for love? You have to keep doing it, learning each time, learning how to love smart. Have a good day!

Ana

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