Topic : *A Dr. Phil Prime Time Special: Love Smart*

I enjoyed the show last night and the timing was perfect.  I had been talking with a person in California and I live in Colorado.  We have talked for about 6 weeks, and at times several times a day.   We laughed so much and seem to have so much in common.  He came out over the weekend, stayed at a hotel and had a pretty good time.  In his phone calls he was saying how much he was falling for me and couldn't believe how much we were alike.  We shared pictures of each other, talked about other relationships we had.   He shared with me that he recently broke up ( 2 months prior) with a woman he dated.  It said they just fought to much plus she told him that she was use to dating men who had a lot more money than he did.  I asked him to make sure that things were over between the two of them before he came out to see me.  It was a little awkward when we first meet each other at the airport.  We went out for beautiful dinners, drove around looking at open houses ...we both enjoy looking at homes.  We had a wonderful time, but Saturday night he told me that he would be all over me if I was 15 to 20 pounds heavier.  I told him that he saw my picture before he came here and knew that I was slim.  Well, to make a long story short after he got home he called me and said he was still confused about his ex-girlfriend and also confused about the way he felt about me.  In the midst of our conversation his phone rang and he said it was someone in New York and he had to grab it and would call me in a couple of days.   So, after thinking about it for a couple of hours, I decided to help him become un-confused.   I sent him a e-mail and said that I decided what was best for me was to just say good-bye.   I said this should help with all of the pressure you are under and now you only have one woman to worry about.  The ending to this I don't have a clue what the real reason is, maybe a ex-girlfriend, maybe he was a player and trying to get me to sit around waiting for him or maybe he wasn't attracted to me.  In my decision about him, because I honestly really liked him and believed him to be a honest man, came to the conclusion that I will never know and I didn't want to stick around to try and figure it out.   I am forty nine years old and I think that some of the older men or even bigger players than the younger ones.   As Dr. Phil says you have to kiss a lot of frogs, but dam there are a lot of frogs out there. 

    As a happy, older married man (45) I thought I would express my opinions. I think that a lot of single people (both male and female ) are totally unrealistic in the expectations of their potential dates, as far as appearance is concerned. 

     As a male ,I can honestly say ,we as a gender tend to be more visually attracted to the opposite sex than women, but not by as much as women would have us believe. I believe that it is important to find the person you are dating to be relatively attractive. Yet I think  a single person has to be honest with themselves as far as their own physical appearance and look for someone in their own "league" ,so to speak. 

   You gave the impression that you are an average looking person, yet you seem annoyed or angry when you said,"Pleee-ze! The men with whom she was paired up were gorgeous and obviously above the norm. They wouldn’t give average looking women a second look. Who are you trying to kid here? "  I don't think that Dr Phil was trying to kid anyone. What happened, is what is to be expected. Not many people will date people  less attractive than themselves, yet almost everyone expects to find some one to date that is way more attractive than themselves. This is unrealistic and leads to much heartache and loneliness.  

   I also think that another part of the problem is becoming "intimate" before marriage. It is a well known  fact , that a lot of men pretend to "love" to get sex while women tend to give sex to get love. While having sex before marriage doesn't prove he doesn't love you , a man willing to wait for sex until marriage is a "definate" sign that he loves you. Women are definately their own worst enemy. I truly feel for your pain and hope you find someone that you can love and that will respect you, like all people deserve!! 

I met a man that age online, ( wrote Dr Phil a letter about him last night). I can tell you he was a bodybuilder, if even that is true, a nice looking guy, actually went  by the name popeye for a while,. He is married, follows me around on the net like I am his one true love. Thing is, I like the guy, He has a nice personality, I just dont know what part is real and what part is BS. I know he lies to me, he knows that i know he lies and he still does it. I dont understand what makes a person lie so much and so often. I have confronted him and he says, " in case I lied..."  

That just insults my intelligence to no end, makes me hate him for about a week, then I forgive him. I just want him to not lie, I dont lie to him, but I cant change him. I made it clear it was over if all he did was lie. What baffles me is if I am such a pain to him, why would he take my old Yahoo! ID after I deleted it, hes weird, and maybe even a stalker, Im beginning to wonder... 

I think that men like that have low self esteem and take it out on their friends, lovers, etc, otherwise they wouldnt lower themselves to such misrepresentation. A fantasy life is fine, if you dont drag unwilling people into it with you. Be honest, Men, please!! Do yourself and the women in your life a favor, be real or be gone.