Topic : 02/21 More Wifestyles

She did make herself clear.  You're just here to argue, obviously. 

I think the fact that she is only 24 with no children, but still has these values is actually a good thing.  There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want BEFORE you have children.  Too many women have children and then try to discover themselves, only putting aside their families for their own personal goals. 

Personally, I think that if you are going to have children, that you should make every effort to have a parent stay home while they are young, and before they start school.  If that's not possible due to financial reasons or the like, then both spouses have to do what's right for the family, and if that means that both have to work to put food on the table then so be it. 

I think the problem we have today is that too many women have children, and refuse to sacrifice their careers, or even put them on hold for a few years for the sake of their children and their families. 

The fact that some women choose to stay home and hold dear the values that were instilled in our mothers and grandmothers is a great thing.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be home and make your house a home and keep your husband happy.  You can't tell me one thing, even in your vast experience, that's wrong with that. 

No one is saying that everybody should feel that way.  But, if everybody did, can you imagine what a better world we would be living in?  If everybody knew where their children were, who their friends were and so on, could you imagine how much better that would be as a whole? 

The 50's were symbolic of those notions.  That's why we refer to them.  We're not talking about discrimination, or being held back in any way. 

I don't know if I just missed it, but what's your story?  Are you married?  Kids? 

Diana 

No, I understand about wall to wall carpeting.  But, she made it sound like there was just a slab of concrete or maybe even some dirt. 

My mom's house was built in the 1920's.  It had beautiful hard wood floor when it was built, and in the 70's she installed wall to wall carpeting.  Sometime in the 80's, the ripped out the carpeting and refinished the floors and so now they're back to real hard wood.  And, I don't have wall to wall carpeting in my home.  It's mostly tile with some wood, and I prefer it that way.  Much easier to keep clean with little kids. 

LOL about your lightbulb.  That's funny.  In my spare time, I like to raid my moms garage for antiques, and you're right, things were built better then, maybe because they didn't have to be so mass produced, who knows.   

Anyway, hope that clears that up. 

Diana 

I have one simple question for Bree and Diana. 

If your husband came to you with a list of 75 items that he required, you mean to tell me you would do it?  Come on!  I understand the concept of keeping your man happy and taking on the responsibility of staying home.  However, I don't believe in becoming a slave to it.   

If you take that list and do it with a smile on your face than perhaps the two of you should start your own business and go out and teach the "Kelly's" of the world how to be a proper homemaker.  I'd even invite you to my home to show me the ropes.   

Hats off ladies, you must be quite remarkable and broke the mold when you were born.   

Unless you consider lineoleum (sp?) a floor covering.  It was used EVERYWHERE.   

Hi. It is my first message on the Dr.Phil message boards. Hope my message comes out right.  

What i was thinking the most when i saw the second show the 21st of February is: what about the children? Aren't you worried that your children are going to internalize and react to the attitude of "what they do is never enough to please" their father?... It's worth thinking about. How do you suppose 12 year olds would react to the father's incessantly criticizing them about everything they do?.... Some of those reactions could very much be suicide.  Nothing about that is funny. Nothing about that is mechanical. Validation is an important part of living together as a family. Human beings need to feel good emotions to want to live and do something with their lives. It is absolutely NOT about getting things done, but is all about doing things together even if they are not done perfectly by some standards. Be carfull of what attitude you choose to adopt towards your spouse because they are reproduced by your children. Bully? or bullied? Food for thought.  

Julie, 

I understand why they focused on Grant so much. I agree that he has a lot of things that need to be worked on.   

Some of my comments don't have anything to do with Grant and Kelly.  Like the one you replied to was just a comment in regards to one poster who said that she stays home, but doesn't feel like lifting a finger because as long as she's nice, that's all that matters. 

I don't think it matters how old you are when you get "it".  As long as you get it, that's all that matters. 

I'm glad your husband helps out.  I think husbands should!! 

Diana

I have one simple question for Bree and Diana. 

If your husband came to you with a list of 75 items that he required, you mean to tell me you would do it?  Come on!  I understand the concept of keeping your man happy and taking on the responsibility of staying home.  However, I don't believe in becoming a slave to it.   

If you take that list and do it with a smile on your face than perhaps the two of you should start your own business and go out and teach the "Kelly's" of the world how to be a proper homemaker.  I'd even invite you to my home to show me the ropes.   

Hats off ladies, you must be quite remarkable and broke the mold when you were born.   

Please forgive me if this is redundant....I posted a message and the screen went blank so I'm trying again. 

When I saw you on the first show, I found you kind of offensive (I realize they edit for time and effect). After reading your posts, I realize I agree with you on many issues. I have also found that trying to keep my home reasonably clean and organized keeps us all more peaceful and gives us more time to enjoy each other. 

The one issue that I'm still struggling with is why you think you have the right to have a problem with how someone else lives their life. If that poster literally doesn't lift a finger, and her husband is happy and the family is in harmony, well OK! 

I have a cleaning lady every other week. We also have a lawn and pool service. I could list all our reasons why and the circumstances of our life, and you would most likely say "Oh, well it's okay in THAT case." But the bottom line is, you don't have the RIGHT to have a problem with my cleaning lady. Just like I don't have the right to have a problem with your 20 minute house cleaning! (I don't really want lessons, but if you could get it in a pill form.......LOL) 

I have come to the conclusion that you do have some valuable insights and ideas. If you could tone down the judgement, I think people would be more receptive to what you have to say. 

My reason for mentioning Bree's age was simply the point that if she found Mr Right at young age, she probably didn't have many negative relationship experiences. The same could be said of a 40 year old who was still happy with her high school sweetheart.  

Julie