Topic : A D D Parent looking for others

Hi there.  

     This is also my first post but when I saw the title of your post, I had to respond.  I have an 8 yr old daughter with ADHD and it wears me out.  Right now she is doing average in school but it is always a struggle. She takes Ritalin twice a day which helps alot.  She is a little bit of a loner but she always gets along with everybody and seems to always have friends.  We have changed schools once but , I think you're right, the problems will usually follow you everywhere.  I did just recently look into a private school that specializes in kids with learning disabilities but it is very expensive.   

     How is your son doing in school?  Does he take medication?  How are you handling it all?  I find it very difficult.  I lost my husband 4 yrs ago and my mother 3 yrs ago so I don't have much help.  It's very difficult trying to make decisions by myself.  I also have a 5 yr old son who is also very challenging (but he doesn't have ADD).  There are some days that my patience wears very thin and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day.  What about you?  How do you deal with it all? 

                                      

Looking forward to hearing from you,  

  

                                                  Lynnie 

Having a child with ADD or ADHD can be very frustrating at times. My son is 10 yrs. old has been on several different doses of different medications some would work for a while and then would have to be upped due to weight or simply not working anymore. He is not currently on any medications for ADD.  He couldn't sit still for anything school work, meal times, etc. He loved to play his video games. Last year his grades were dropping so I placed him in a private school yes very costly but he is totaly a different child. This school specilizes in children with problems and his teacher works with him one on one. I have even learned how to cope with different situations with him. His reading was horrible because he couldn't concentrate on his work to comprehend what was being read. One saying that helped me was: Have you ever read something realy fast and thought WHAT did I just read and went back and read it over and then it final sunk in what you read? Well this is how there life functions so keeping this in mind as we work with them everyday will help you see or hear things the way they do. Repetiveness is number one in there life as well as the parents that have children with these issues. The best thing that has helped him was to SLow down and repeat 

things over and over. Try only one subject at a time and keep it short .... Also ask questions they have to answer. Like just an example: Jack ran up the hill.. What did Jack do? This realy helped us I use this in his everyday routines.  I gave him alot of breaks during reading but when he came back I would repeat the last question I ask him when he left for break. As, far as his eating I can't expect him to eat sitting still so I comprimised with making him finger foods that he could pick up eat on the run sorta thing. I had to do alot of changing in my thinking and the way I was raised to help him. The most important with children like this is to know you have to chose your battles wisely another words they do thinks and dont have the brain process to know their consquences. SO, I learned to let alot of things just go. My son is now very respectful to others and making great grades in school... I hope some of this can help you guys cause believe me I have had a long battle. We still face different stumbling blocks everyday, but work to get through them and believe me before he is grown I may be bald LOL. 

I also have a son who was diagnosed with ADHD.  Yes, he is very challenging but I love every minute of it!  In the beginning I thought the answer was medication, medication, medication.  When he was four I relocated from a large city to a small town and finding a doctor that believed in medicating a child with ADHD was hard to find.  I found one and kept him on the medication for his K and part of his first grade years.  Then the doctor that prescribed the meds moved out of the area and I had to take him to the only peditrician left.  He discouraged the meds-and I am grateful!  Yes, school can be a struggle, yes, everyday issues can be a struggle but that is what my son is!  We work hard on the school issues and he is now 8 and finally realizes that there are consequences to his actions.  We have to be a little harder on him but in the long run I know my son is going to grow up being just fine.  I taught middle school children for many years and I fight and argue with his school often.  They want the easy way out....medicate him so we don't have to take the time to deal with him.  I don't like a zombie!  I am in no way saying that meds are not good....but for my son it just wasn't the right way to go.  We tried different meds and none of them seemed to work well for him...one even put him into a coma like state.....I wasn't liking that at all.  I look back on my school years and wonder how many of my classmates, including myself, had ADHD/ADD?  And you know what.....with the dedication of parents and teachers we all grew up to be okay...and for the most part successful in the jobs we took.  Be patient, be loving, be understanding but most of all be consistant! 

Hi,  

  

I have a son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD and PDD which is under the autism umbrella.  We are so glad to finally get a diagnosis.  For so long we didn't know what was wrong but knew that something was terrible wrong.  Now we know what it is and we are finally receiving care.  My son is currently taking concerta at the smallest dose but it's not showing much difference.  We will soon visit the doctor to probably up the dosage on the medication. 

  

The school my child attends is working closely with us and is providing speech and counseling and will soon hire an aid for him.  We really had to jump through the hoops to make all this happen but it's well worth it.  He seems to be doing a little better at school these days.  Although he has a long way to go to catch up with his peers. 

  

I read the other message boards and can really identify with the ADHD symptoms listed.  My son has a hard time keeping weight on and what I've noticed is that he will drink more than eat.  We give him protein drinks like ensure to help him hold his weight.  It seems to be working since he is gaining although at a very slow rate. 

  

The PDD is Pervasive Development Disorder which is in the autism umbrella.  He doesn't have all the symptoms of autism but has enough of them to fit in this mold.  It's very hard for him to have friends.  He has yet for one to come over and has never had a friend sleep over.  Most kids befriend him at first but quickly realize that he is different and that's the end of that.  I hope that he will be able to have friends when he gets older.  He is now only 7 years old and in 2nd grade. 

  

The thing that helps my son is having a routine, charts and reward system.  If he knows exactly what's going to happen next it seems to help.  He likes the video games but we must limit that so we use a timer.  If you've found anything that works for your child please put it on the message board. 

  

My stepsom is 12 years old and is ADHD and his Mom gives him his pills only during the week for school and His dad and I get him only on the weekends  She keeps the med that he taikes he yo yos emotionally and Behavoirly is bad We finallynmgot pills for him on the weekends and it is getting Better since then but he is a handful with out the Pills for it

Hello, 

  

I am new to the boards, I watch the show everyday, almost. I have a 13 year old was diagnosed wtih ADHD, ODD WITH AGGRESSION, and have been on medication for several years. Tried ritalin at first, and had problems with it (loss of appetite). Also tried adderall xr, for several years, and it wore it's course off. Just switched him to concerta, clonidine, for sleeping problems, and straterra. I also did manage his diet, etc just like the show said, we had trouble with him sleep walking severely, took him to doctor's had him run cat skan, and other tests which showed up normal.  

  

He would get up in the night, and just walk into my room and say, I LOVE YOU while he was dead asleep. I think most of that had to do with problems, I was having with my parents at the time, but most of that has subsided. The new dosage still helps, but teacher says he is having trouble with fidgeting with his glasses, not sitting still, etc. I confronted the doctor about a new dose, he said the teachers can claim he's adhd, but the teachers also have to be willing to work with the parents too and not just jump to conclusion that every kid, has adhd. Nice to meet everyone.  

  

  

  

I, too, have a son with ADHD.  He is 5 and in kindergarten.  His teacher is nasty to me and is already talking about retaining him.  He has a twin sister and she is considering retaining her along with him.  He shows multiple signs of dyslexia, as well.  But the school doesn't want to test him, so I have to keep pushing . . . the psychiatrist says that it is the school's job to do the testing, but I can't seem to get them to do it.  At our next visit with the doctor, I am going to request that he do it.  He is having trouble learning to read, but he is making progress.  His sister knew 95 of 102 of the "ring" words for the month.  He knew 9.  So, why on earth would you retain her???  Anyway, Robbie takes Metadate CD 20 mg and 5 mg of Ritalin in the morning before school.  I can give me additional Ritalin as needed, but I normally don't.  I can deal with him at home just fine.  He goes to a counseling session once every two weeks, as well.  The therapist and the psychiatricst work together in the same office and "compare notes" on a regular basis.  They are helping me to get the school to get Robbie a one-on-one to help him part of the day with his classwork and tests, etc.  Hopefully, it will be in place by the time he gets into first grade. 

  

Hang in there and be STRONG!!!  It is definately a tough road!!  But, it is worth it to see your child do well.  I cried the day he came home with a gold a star with the words "I am Smart" in glitter on it. 

  

I hope that we can keep talking about our kids!! 

  

Jeni in Maryland 

Hi! I'm new to this but I just wanted to let others know that I too have a 9 year old who has been diagnosed last november with ADD.  He's my eldest of four and it has been a very bumpy ride.  He's very intelligent but  couldn't concentrate long enough to learn things properly...  the extra time to help him learn has taking time away from "mommy time" with my other 3, whom range from 41/2 to 9 months. I am burnt and tired.  We are dairy farmers and I have a daycare.  I am also french and send my children to french school , so my husband can't help since he speaks english.   I can't relate with anyone since none of my friends have school age children.  I felt alone and fustrated.  Fighting with the school to get him evaluated for 4 years...taking all responsibilities.    But he has recently started on medication (strattera) at minimal dose and has already improved.  It's only the begining, lots of caching up is needed.  I am really happy to be able to read messages from others who can understand and offer advices and tips for ADD.  A friend from Ontario Canada,  Vicky

I can relate to what alot of you say.  My eldest son who will be 10 in April was diagnosed with ADD and he has major anger outburst and depression.  He takes dexedrine for the ADD; prozac for depression and risperdal for the anger outburst.  My youngest son who is 6 was diagnosed with ODD now he is not on any meds as we are hoping once his brother is calmed down he will calm down as well and so far he doesnt seem to be as bad as he was.  My eldest has problems in school as he has no true friends and it breaks my heart to see him going through this.  We have found alot of resources for him that will help him and they seem to be working.  Although it doesnt help that he feels his father doesnt love him and loves his younger brother more and then to hear his father wanting to give up his parental rights, he has gone through enough already.  Also my soon to be stepson has PDD so trying to help all the kids can be difficult especially when stepson only comes every other wknd and on wed.  We do what we can for them to grow up into loving, kind, responsible adults.  We see 3 children that are capable of trying and doing new things and see potential in each and every one of them but we have problems with my fiance's ex she always says her son is autistic and cant do that bec of it and she accuses me of being emotionally traumatic to her son, but continues to send him.  I have been nothing but good to this boy and he comes up to me and hugs me and tells me he loves me.  But if you call having him clean his room, put toys away, put clothes away and making his bed then traumatic then i guess im guilty.  We dont see all the anxiety that she says happens in her care, but i think she puts it there.  Well i guess i went a little off topic sorry bout that.  I am also new to the board and thought i would post to this topic.

I was just wondering how they determine it is adhd or anything like that.  Is it just the behavior or are there lots of tests.  My fiancee has adhd and him and some of our friends and family seem to think that our 5 year old does.  But to me i guess i just think she is being an active child.  She has a short attention span wants to read a book or do some work out of a book which lasts 3 minutes or so and always is in a hurry everything has to be done fast it frustrates her if it takes to long or if the task just presumes to take to long she will get upset before even trying it and will whine and cry saying it will take to long.  She is distracted easily from doing things. Doesnt like to listen she will purposellly do something you tell her not to then she says oops sorry if you see her doing it.   Very active doesnt like to sit still she is always moving in one way or another even at night she goes from the couch to the floor back to the couch or chair and sometimes the floor in our room several times a night.  To me this doesnt sound like any adhd or anything else just an active child but i dont have much experience with that preticular diagnosis. Any thoughts?