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Topic : 02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

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Created on : Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:20:56 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows up with one of this year's most talked about couples: Charles and Tracy. Charles had been juggling his time between his wife and mistress. He wanted to have them both, so he came up with the perfect solution: polyfidelity, a relationship in which he is shared by the two women. Tracy says she can't express her anger over the affair because she doesn't know how. Will she fight for her rights for the first time in 20 years of marriage? Charles claims he said goodbye to the other woman, but why did it take four meetings? Is it "goodbye forever" or just "goodbye for now"? Plus, their oldest son speaks out about his father's behavior, and Tracy has a message for the other woman. Talk about the show here.

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February 26, 2006, 2:50 pm CST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: zakksmomm

I would have to say "no", cause in his twisted mind it is o.k. Marriage is a committment to one person for life. He should have saved thousand of $ and never got married.
 The only reason marriage in this country is one person for life is because the government is trying to legislate morality.  There are plenty of cultures that practice polyfidelity, and are completely accepting of it.  It should be the chose of the people involved not  the government, and not other people looking at it and saying "Oh, that's wrong, they shouldn't be doing that"

The only reason there is any problem in this case is because the wife isn't willing to be involved in that type of relationship (and that is HER right).
 
February 26, 2006, 3:38 pm CST

Charlie and Wife. Miss California, Need another Vacation there.?

I would like to go to California, and Have Dr. Phil  Pay for me.  ( I would really reimburse them,  at a later date.)  

 

I have been trying For Dr Phil to help me.    

Changed Name on message boards, and profile name is incomplete. For my protection. 

 

TC 

 
February 26, 2006, 3:46 pm CST

Arrogance

The only thing wrong with this guy is that he is a very ARROGANT S O B.  You can tell that by the way he even sits in the chair across from Dr. Phil.  I feel like his wife should just call his bluff let him go to the other woman.  It would'nt be long at all before he came to her too and wanted to share her with someone else.  He couldn't even see what kind of pain he was inflicting on his wife because he is the kind who cares for no one but himself !!!
 
February 26, 2006, 4:49 pm CST

WALK IN YOUR SHOES???

Quote From: amber123

You really do need to walk a mile in someones shoes to make a statement like that.  I was the mistress to a wonder unhappy man.  I was abused in my 12 year marrige and besides work and my children & family I stayed home.  He was a friend first and gained my trust and my love for 4 years.  It was something that I needed at that time in my life.  He came to me - I did not go after him.  When you believe in someone you do some very strange things.  I am a great mother, a good daughter, sister, friend and employee of the same comany for almost 25 years.  I support my children alone in every aspect of their lives.  Do not judge all women or men that fall into the trap of loving someone they should not.  I am sad that my friends marriage was bad and encouraged him for many years to get help but there is only so much one can do.  I am most sorry for his wife that she would even consider staying in the marriage with 3 older daughters and setting such an example.  Why would anyone want to be with someone that does not want to be with them and them alone.  I believe that marriage is build on trust, respect and honesty none of which this couple have.  Maybe he is better with his lover, I am sure she (the wife) is better off without him.  Something had to be missing from his marriage in the first place to look elsewhere for fulfillment.  Maybe they connect in a way his wife and him no longer can. 

YOU ARE RATHER CONFUSING ME....SO YOU WALKED IN THE SAME SHOES FOR 4 YEARS? BOY THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WEARING! YOUR SAYING YOUR FRIEND, ENCOURAGED HIM FOR MANY YEARS TO GET HELP? HMMMM....MAYBE YOU WERE THE ENCOURAGER. WHY BUY THE COW WHEN THE MILK IS FREE? YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY FOR HIS WIFE THAT SHE WOULD EVEN CONSIDER STAYING IN THE MARRIAGE WITH 3 OLDER DAUGHERS AND SETTING SUCH AN EXAMPLE? WHAT KIND OF "GOOD" MOTHER SETS THE EXAMPLE FOR HER CHILDREN? (MEANING YOU). GEEZ NOW TELL ME IF THIS SITUATION WAS REVERSED THAT YOUR HUSBUND WAS HAVING A MISTRESS.....YOU WOULD BE SAYING,HE WOULD BE BETTER OFF STAYING WITH HIS LOVER??? LET ME ASK YOU WHAT WAS MISSING IN YOUR LIFE OR MARRIAGE THAT YOU WENT & LOOKED BEYOND? WHY DIDN'T YOU DIVORCE OR MOVE ON SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE PRETTY HIGH & MIGHTY BECAUSE IT WAS YOU!  ARE YOU NOW HAPPY WITH THIS MAN YOU HAD A AFFAIR WITH FOR 4 YEARS, OR HAS HE MOVED ON OR DECIDED TO STAY WITH HIS WIFE? WHEN YOU SAID HE CAME TO YOU? HMMMM....AGAIN. STAYED IN THE PICTURE HUH? DIDN'T LEAVE HIM DID YOU? NOBODY OR ANYTHING CAN MAKE THE HEART WONDER IF IT DOESN'T WANT TO. TIME TO CHANGE YOUR SHOES! 

 
February 26, 2006, 5:15 pm CST

She needs to just leave him

I am single and have guys like him come on to me in the Bars all the time.  Loser.   The problem is, they don't tell you they are married.  I just dumped a guy or tried to...cuz same situation.   I want him to leave me alone.  He probably will this time.  But, you never know.  They are sick.  It's an illness.  Not fair to her, as that is not how they entered there marriage.  She should leave him and he will be sorry for it later. ..when he is too old.  Then he can rot by himself.
 
February 26, 2006, 5:36 pm CST

She needs to leave him

He will not change.   It is sad for her.  They didn't enter there marriage that way and it is wrong because of that.   A lot of these men don't tell women they are married or attached. 
 
February 26, 2006, 5:47 pm CST

I agree

Quote From: mary5045

The only thing wrong with this guy is that he is a very ARROGANT S O B.  You can tell that by the way he even sits in the chair across from Dr. Phil.  I feel like his wife should just call his bluff let him go to the other woman.  It would'nt be long at all before he came to her too and wanted to share her with someone else.  He couldn't even see what kind of pain he was inflicting on his wife because he is the kind who cares for no one but himself !!!
I agree 100%.  I just ended it with a guy who is same type of thing.  I didn't know at first.  It makes me mad, because people get hurt all at his pleasure.
 
February 26, 2006, 6:49 pm CST

Life will go on without him.

   She needs to get out of this marriage once and for all. So many women like her empower men who act like this; as if they're God's gift to women and they can have them all... all at one time! Life will go on for her if she just lets him go, she will have better things comming her way if she does finally ditch this egotistical idiot. I love how he has manipulated her so well into thinking that all of this is ok! The whole show just made me absolutely SICK! I don't even know if I could stomach the next.
 
February 26, 2006, 9:10 pm CST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: amber123

You really do need to walk a mile in someones shoes to make a statement like that.  I was the mistress to a wonder unhappy man.  I was abused in my 12 year marrige and besides work and my children & family I stayed home.  He was a friend first and gained my trust and my love for 4 years.  It was something that I needed at that time in my life.  He came to me - I did not go after him.  When you believe in someone you do some very strange things.  I am a great mother, a good daughter, sister, friend and employee of the same comany for almost 25 years.  I support my children alone in every aspect of their lives.  Do not judge all women or men that fall into the trap of loving someone they should not.  I am sad that my friends marriage was bad and encouraged him for many years to get help but there is only so much one can do.  I am most sorry for his wife that she would even consider staying in the marriage with 3 older daughters and setting such an example.  Why would anyone want to be with someone that does not want to be with them and them alone.  I believe that marriage is build on trust, respect and honesty none of which this couple have.  Maybe he is better with his lover, I am sure she (the wife) is better off without him.  Something had to be missing from his marriage in the first place to look elsewhere for fulfillment.  Maybe they connect in a way his wife and him no longer can. 
Do you see the hypocrisy in what you have stated, "Why would anyone want to be with someone that does not want to be with them and them alone." Well you tell me. How do you know what went on in their marriage?? You heard one side of it . Don't try and justify your actions, you were an intruder in there marriage and as you said, "You really do need to walk a mile in someones shoes", namely his wife.
 
February 27, 2006, 2:05 am CST

A five year old said it all

I am laughing right now because my five year old daughter, who is on break from school, was watching the show wtih me and she pipes up from the other couch and says "Leave him, Leave him, Leave him"  over and over in a chant.  This little girl knows best!  Her father and I were married for five years and during that time he cheated on me and became abusive because we would argue so much over his affair.  Her father always said, "we will work it out someday.  I just need a little time.  I just need to see if this is what I want."  All the bullshit excuses in the book, but in the end I walked in on him and his 16 year old girlfriend (he was 29) and he put me in the doctors office with some major neck and back problems from beating me so bad.  Then he had the nerve to call me the next day and say, "I was going to leave her on Friday but now you blew it"  I was so taken back and felt like I would have saved my marriage if I had just let him have his affair for two more days.  Who was I kidding?  I was just hurting my baby. 

 

I never wanted to get out of bed because I felt worthless and my poor daughter sufered.  I wanted to die.  I know how it hurts, but I am now married to a man who really is a good person.  My ex ended up in prison for stealing peoples identities and my new husband is a military cop.  I did not meet him while turning in my husband, I met him through some friends.  He knows all that I have been through and to this day we still have to deal with my ex because of my daughter (which Dr. Phil if you are reading this How can I get my ex out of my daughters life so my new husband can adopt her?)  My husband loves me and puts up with alot thanks to my ex but my hubby is an open book and just loves me more when I am upset.   

 

You would be so much happier if you just got away from your husband altogether.  You would have no one to fight with and would have lots of friends and I can not tell you how much less stress you will have.  You will sleep better and never wonder where he is.  You will never cry about how he is hurting you.  YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!  I said to my husband the first time we saw this that he is nuts because you are pretty.   

 

Now if a five year old little girl thinks you should leave him because she knows how much happier it has made her mommy and how much happier it will make you why dont you realize it?  There are programs out there to help you leave.  I was so worried that I could not do it on my own since I was a stay at home mom, but guess what I did it for two years and now my husband lets me stay home again and take care of my baby and the neighborhood kids.  I am so happy now.  I live in Europe and am seeing the world.   I am not to say that my new husband does not have his flaws, but I am much more happy with someone telling me I am beautiful, nice, a good mom, a good wife, a good lover and all those things then I was with my ex-husband.  You should at least take two months away (completely with no contact) and see if you dont feel more confident and happy.    Maybe try reading the book Embraced by the Light by Beaty Edie.  It will change your outlook on life.  Good Luck and God Bless You. 

 

A side not for your husband.  One of the ten commandments is Tho shall not commit adultry. (Exodus 20 :1-17)  You need to read your bible more.  Infact it really promotes abstinence and says if you take a wife you need to be loyal to her.  Read the book of James in the New Testiment.  I hope you never remarry and ruin another person because that is what you have done and she will never fully recover.   

 
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