Message Boards

Topic : 02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Number of Replies: 1182
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, February 24, 2006, 11:20:56 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows up with one of this year's most talked about couples: Charles and Tracy. Charles had been juggling his time between his wife and mistress. He wanted to have them both, so he came up with the perfect solution: polyfidelity, a relationship in which he is shared by the two women. Tracy says she can't express her anger over the affair because she doesn't know how. Will she fight for her rights for the first time in 20 years of marriage? Charles claims he said goodbye to the other woman, but why did it take four meetings? Is it "goodbye forever" or just "goodbye for now"? Plus, their oldest son speaks out about his father's behavior, and Tracy has a message for the other woman. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More February 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

February 27, 2006, 7:51 am CST

Selfish and Insensitive

  

The sad fact is that he is doesn't care how the things he says or does impact other people.  His wants, needs and feelings are the only thing that is important, and he keeps showing that over and over.   He actually sounds jealous that the other woman is seeing someone else!    This is not a man in love with his wife and devoted to making her and their children happy.   Continue the individual therapy and learn to read the road signs along way, because the road ahead promises to be worse than the road behind.   

 
February 27, 2006, 7:56 am CST

WARNING!! WARNING!!

 Tracy, Tracy, Tracy....

Honey, seriously, do you really think that Charles is finished?? I believe the old saying "Once a cheat, always a cheat. I was in a marriage for 15 years, he had affairs, yes I said affairS! It's like a drug addict, once they get the taste, they want more. The very fact that he even conscidered this load of bull*^%! call "polyfidelity" and wanted you to accept that is a HUGE red flag. Run sister RUN! He is playing you like a puppet, and that my dear is a shame because you are a very bright, beautiful, articulate woman and you deserve better. Is he out there?? Yes....somewhere, I found my  prince charming after I want through a hellish divorce. My ex belittled me, took my self worth, made me feel as though I was worth nothing, and for a while I believed it. But it was not the truth.

Look..Charles, thinks he has people comvinced, and even if you two are reading this together, and he is sitting there saying, well, she has her opinion, Hey Chuck...you are damn staight I do, and I think you are playing your wife like a puppet. SHAME on you for putting her through this and yourchildren, hopefully they wont turn out like their father. Tracy, get out, don't believe any more of his "I'm sorries", "It's over" I have met with her for the 18th time to tell her it's over..blah blah blah...!!!" WHATEVER! Tracy, you deserve better...get out & go get it!
 
February 27, 2006, 7:57 am CST

There is hope

His cheating probably doesn't have much to do with anything lacking in his marriage but more with what he finds lacking in himself.  I usually agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" quote, but the fact that he and his wife are seeking help is a big factor.   

  

I think once he sees this he will be able to change.  I also think once the wife starts demanding more respect, she will get it from him.  I think he secretly wants this from her.   

  

It's not always the other person that is so attractive, but the fact that it's "forbidden fruit."  It adds excitement  to the humdrum of everyday marriage.  It's impulsive.  It's irresponsible.  There is no work involved to keep it exciting. 

 
February 27, 2006, 8:01 am CST

02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Quote From: momisme2

"My dad came to me first to talk about the affair before he even mentioned it to my mom" explains Chas. 

  

Why in the hell would you speak to your seventeen year old (A CHILD) about an affair before speaking to your wife(an ADULT)??? 

  

I can think of two reasons... 

  

1.  Youre a frickin idiot. 

  

2.  You are trying to get your child to side with you over their mother.   

  

Its early in the morning yet and im only working on one cup of coffee so if anyone has any other ideas I would be interested in hearing them. 

  

Hey, Momisme! I'm not a coffee drinker but your thoughts on the issue sound pretty good to me. 

  

His mistress is his "pie" that he cannot stay away from, eh? Well, my friend, go on a diet!  

  

Four times to say goodbye? Nah. At the rate he's doing, they'll be saying goodbye into 2010.  

  

You know how I feel about marriage. But when one of the two in the marriage has checked out (despite his many glib words to the contrary), you have to take care of yourself and move on. Those boys don't need to deal with a Dad who discusses his affair with them openly. Oi vey, I can't believe that! 

 
February 27, 2006, 8:01 am CST

Tracy

 I seen the show and u need to do get rid of him. He will not change. Once he cheats he will do it again. I know it's going to hurt for awhile but u don't need that in your life. Only it is going to do is bring back bad memorys of him and her if ya'll stay together and that's not good for u. Just leave and don't return. I know i haven't been cheated on yet but if my husband ever cheated on me I will leave him cause i couldn't see myself with him and I'll be thinking about him and her all the time. And I see where is he says that he will break it off with her when ya'll got back home from the first show and i seen he hasn't done that yet and i don't think he will ever will do that. U just don't need all that headache and worriers cause it's going to cause u to have a nerve breakdown and u might end up in the hospital and u don't need that.  

  

Also your kids see that and they don't like it either and that is hurting them also. They don't need to see that and hear what's going on but i know they hear stuff. And they most likely will still hear that for a long time. Charles is not showing a good rolemodel for his kids cause they might think all it's okay to do this cause my dad done this and i can do this also to my wife or girlfriend. And that's not good. His kids might even one day hate him for doing this to there mother and they might not even forgive him for this. But I hope that doesn't happen!!! 

  

Charles need to step up and be a man for a change and stop been with that woman!! Only it's doing is tareing the family apart. Charles u need to quit cheating and u need to love your wife. U need to love her like u did when ya'll two got married. I hope u and Tracy can work things out but I don't think that's going to happen. It is to much stress on all of the family. U just need to think and think hard on what u r going to do. Cause this is your family and u might loose them! Just keep this in mind and hope everything will come out alright what ever u do!!  

 
February 27, 2006, 8:07 am CST

Control your environment

Contol your environment.  If there is a chance the other women will text message you- get rid of your old phone.  Change your number, get rid of text messaging. Change your email address- Move to another state if you have to.  Whatever it takes.  If you are not willing to do what it takes to cut all ties with the other women than you need to ask yourself if you are really trying to save your marriage or just your reputation.    

The best gift a dad can give his children is to love their mother. 

 
February 27, 2006, 8:19 am CST

Been There!

   

  

 First time I've ever written here, but this issue is close to home.  I've been married over 12 years and in the last 5 or so My husband has had "cyber affairs".  There have been many times I wanted to say thats it!  No more!  However, I have made a significant life investment with this man.  As long as he is willing to change and recognize his errors (through weekly counseling) and he tells me how I might frustrate him and vice versa; we are doing the serious work of marriage.  And I know some people may disagree, but I made this promise to God first and foremost.  I have broken allot of promises to God, but never one that would have such a dramatic impact.  Therefore, He and I both are working at rekindling our first love!  It's not easy, but anything worth having usually is not! 

  

 
February 27, 2006, 8:29 am CST

I Blame Her

Sorry ladies, but if a man is with a woman he does not respect, he will walk all over her. Tracy is obviously week, Charles is obviously strong. Opposites attract. Things will not change for them unless Tracy stands up for herself!  

  I can be an *ss*ole to my wife, She can be a *itch. Than we say sorry. Very simple. Very balanced. If one side of the relationship does not hold up their end of the balance scale, the scale will rise on the other side, and lower on their side. That's their own fault. It's nice to think that we are better than that, but we are just animals(notice that the next time you loose your temper, kinda animalistic behavior, don't you think). I have had four serious relationships in my life, one of those was with a weak woman, she is the only one I cheated on. My first love I was so afraid of loosing, she walked all over me, and cheated on me. I beleive woman are stronger from the start, men don't get strong until they get their heart broken for the first time.  

 Ladies, if you let a man walk on you, he will, men, visa-versa. We are all just animals. Having people like Dr. Phil to point that out to us, and accepting that fact, is a great asset to any relationship. Thank you Dr. Phil!    

 
February 27, 2006, 8:36 am CST

I've been there too!

Quote From: augustwife

   

  

 First time I've ever written here, but this issue is close to home.  I've been married over 12 years and in the last 5 or so My husband has had "cyber affairs".  There have been many times I wanted to say thats it!  No more!  However, I have made a significant life investment with this man.  As long as he is willing to change and recognize his errors (through weekly counseling) and he tells me how I might frustrate him and vice versa; we are doing the serious work of marriage.  And I know some people may disagree, but I made this promise to God first and foremost.  I have broken allot of promises to God, but never one that would have such a dramatic impact.  Therefore, He and I both are working at rekindling our first love!  It's not easy, but anything worth having usually is not! 

  

I was so busy doing things for my family, that I never saw it comming, I fought for my marriage, and won, or did I? It has now been 2 years since my husband's affair, and some people think we are happy, but I am not. The simple truth to the matter, is that the trust in our marriage was broken, and I will never feel the same way about us, as I did before. I may fool myself everyday by telling myself things are ok, but I know they are not. I have 2 young children, and I come from a broken home. When my children are out of school, I plan on getting my life back, by leaving here, and starting over again. I really hate to say this, but no one gets over being cheated on, or decieved, or lied to.
 
February 27, 2006, 8:40 am CST

life after cheating

This couple was "us" 10 years ago. My husband is/was a carbon copy of this man.   Counseling and his career change helped us manage to stay together.   Fortunately, he's become a better person since then.  He's happier with himself and nicer toward me. Despite the changes in him, I'm still wondering if he will ever understand the depth of what he has done to his life and to ours.  He never apologized for his behavior and, like this man, doesn't ever burn bridges or end relationships. Because of what happened, I know I can never trust him again.  For those of you who have just discovered your spouse cheating, remember it will be a daily struggle to be with someone who can lie so easily.  In my case, because of this event, he gave up having "all of me" and I gave up trusting him.  Affairs are so destructive and their impact lasts a lifetime.  If you really love him and you're willing to adjust your view of life - stay-otherwise leave now and preserve who you really are.  You only have one life. 

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Next | Last