Topic : 02/27 Twisted Love: The Aftermath

Charles is such an insecure, narcisscistic, selfish, arrogant jerk that is very difficult to believe that he has the capacity to really change. Charles, a REAL MAN would NEVER treat his wife and family the way you have have (and continue to do) done. Alpha male? Pullease. That is nothing but your own rationalization for the complete and utter failure you are at life and love. Get over yourself and get honest. Any man who would torture his wife with the details of his selfish, sordid affair has a serious need for validation. Continue to see your psychotherapist (good luck there, psychotherapist) and learn to validate yourself  through decent, caring, compassionate, honest words and behavior. If I were your wife and you continued with your endless words and bs, I'd kick you to the curb and show my children what a Real Woman is made of.  

Right now, your wife continues to make excuses for your stuff...I understand that she is confused and hurting, but I hope that she finally does get  a backbone and  walk away. Her children deserve to know that she values herself and her life enough to do so.  

Other woman: where is your self-respect? You are hanging on to a lose-lose situation. You are 'in love' with a serious piece of trouble. And, you are hurting some innocent children with your insistance on hanging on. They deserve to have both their mother and father in a loving, committed, honorable marriage. If you're as beautiful as Charles says, and even if you're not, there are many, many more desirable men out there for you. Get some help and get out of this mess. 

I understand everyone thoughts about this guy being a jerk and that yes cheating is wrong. But I have learned to NEVER judge anyone till you have walked a mile in their shoes. I'm sure I'm going to get beaten up for my story....that's ok. I can take it. I myself was involved with a married man and still am in a way. I know it's wrong, but feeling aren't right or wrong they just are!! Maybe if woman kept their husbands happy at home they wouldn't go looking else where! Just my thought, but true if you think about it. Not trying to justify what I'm doing. But alot of people make it out that the mistress is always the bad one.....it takes 2!!! And in my story I was not chasing him, he chased me. We started out as friends and then it became more. He would call me about 10 times a day, go to great length to spend time with me, treated me very well and I never felt like the "other woman".  His wife is not a very nice person and beats him down daily (what kind of woman does that, if she is the victim in this????). We did get caught but we still talk and we still see each other.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the mistress or the "other woman" is not solely to blame.  And I'm sick of everyone thinking and saying that.  I know there are men out there that are just jerks and treat their wives like crap and just cheat for the trill. But there are times where it is not like that and that maybe they just married the wrong person. Maybe you women who have been cheated on should take a look in the mirror.....it's not all the "other woman" fault and it's not all his fault, You must take some of the blame for it happening. 

In hopes that Tracy is reading these posts I realize it is hard to swallow varying opinions but I realized in my life and in my experiences that the people who have been there offered the best advice and it was the advice I was least likely to take.  As it turned out I learned my lessons the hard way, but I learned them! No one deserves the hurt you have experienced with your husband - he did that to you all on his own - willingly!  

My best advice coming from true, hard experince is to move on! Think about yourself and your own happiness that will come from it and no matter how much time you have already spent with him,  does not mean you have to stay with him and before you know it - you will have forgotten what he looks like!