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March 1, 2006, 7:12 pm PST
a note to Charles and Tracy
To Charles: I'm not going to spend much time on what I think of you because it obviously has been said over and over.....in my opinion I think this whole thing back fired on you and the first show did not go as you planned and you had to then turn to another tactic, like wanting to stay with your wife. Did you not think airing this on tv would bring this type of reaction? Frankly, what you do and how you act is your business, short of turning it around and telling people on these boards that now they are the one with problems. You can tell you have been in the care of a therapist...like 'look back into your childhood and see what family member is responsible for your actions" Plain and simple, what goes around comes around, and believe me, you will get your due.
To Tracy: I feel for you right now, simply because I have been there. I spent 10 years longer in a marriage than I should have because I did not have the confidence in myself to be on my own, mainly financially. I have since divorced after being married 20 years. My ex's mistress was a gambling addition, not another woman. I, too, tried to make things right. My only advice to you is, and right now you are probably not ready to hear this, but no matter how right you think things are going or will go, the mistrust that can NEVER be regained will overshadow anything that supposedly seems right. It will put a damper on your trying to mend this relationship. The best advice I got from someone is to make a decision to get out while I was strong enough to make such a decision, before I was beaten down again. Because believe me, you will go through the thoughts of what was wrong with me, is it my fault, what is he doing now, what will he be doing, etc. Then what is likely to happen is that you easily fall out of love with that person and even hatred may set in. I hope you can find a way to deal with your anger. I, too, kept it in thinking we needed to be on good grounds for our daughter.
Even after being divorced for 6 years, my ex continued to show what type of person he truly was by a month before our daughter was to go off to college, he refused to help with college expenses of any sort of which he had previously agreed. So, if a trait is there, it is there. It will not go away.
I don't want to be negative with this, but hope when you are ready to hear something along this line you will take a minute and read my story again. I am now in a one year relationship with a man who I dearly admire and adore. We are taking it slow and are sure to be friends first, to see if we are someone we each would like to fall in love with, unlike the way either of us approached our first marriage. But it took me this long to feel I could trust at any level.
From experience also, I am willing to bet Charles' main concern is not paying child support. My best wishes to you Tracy.
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Dr. Phil follows up with one of this year's most talked about couples: Charles and Tracy. Charles had been juggling his time between his wife and mistress. He wanted to have them both, so he came up with the perfect solution: polyfidelity, a relationship in which he is shared by the two women. Tracy says she can't express her anger over the affair because she doesn't know how. Will she fight for her rights for the first time in 20 years of marriage? Charles claims he said goodbye to the other woman, but why did it take four meetings? Is it "goodbye forever" or just "goodbye for now"? Plus, their oldest son speaks out about his father's behavior, and Tracy has a message for the other woman. Talk about the show here.
