Topic : 06/12 On the Outs With In-Laws

 I couldn't help but notice that sad, defeated look on that poor man's face.  I can't imagine having to grow up with a mother like that.   I thought my dad's mom was bad, but this woman may be her match.  Holy cow, she is just mean spirited, and totally wrong headed.  I hope her son can finally be free of her negitive influences one day, even if he has to move a million miles away from her.

I think overall the wife has put up with quite a bit of crap.  That poor woman.   Those poor kids.  I really hope Dr. Phil can help get that out of this situation.

As for the mother, I don't even have words to describe the feelings she gave me other than anger, anger, and more anger.  Something about her just made me furious.   I think a lot of it is I just can't see how she can sit there and be confronted with things that she KNOWS she has done, half admit to them, and then try to weasel her way out of it.   I'm not sure she even deserves a relationship with her son or with his children.  In the end that's his decision.   She just acts like it's so hard to stop acting like a crazy person.

        I am actually sadder for you, than the family on the show today!  Of course mothers should receive respect.  I am a mother of 3 gorgeous boys, and can't imagine them not caring for me.  However, I also realize that when a man chooses a wife, he has also chosen his family.  After that, the rest become relatives.  Your wife and children, or your husband and children, should always be first in your life.  I hope your husband feels that way, and I hope you are thankful and appreciative for it.  Mothers earn respect, and love by giving it.  If that were the case in this situation I don't think there would be such a problem.

My Mother in Law as well as my sisters in law didn't like me. Not at all.  My husband is 19 years older and they figured I was out for his money.  We never lived together til we were married. 
WHen I got pregnant 8 years after we met and started planning to get married, one of my sisters in law and mother in law told my husband to get a paternity test.

Needless to say the baby looks just like him.

Anyway I took care of the mother in law til her dying day as she lived with us.  I was the one that cared for her and one  time my sister in law got in my face saying i was not doing enough for her. After all she is "your mother in law"  she told me...I stepped up and told her yes she is but she is your mother.  We still don't get along..
All I want is a thank you from my sisters in law for caring for my Mother in law while she was bed ridden for the last year of her life.....while I had a new born and 2 yo.    My mother in law disliked me til the day she died.  Tho i was her primary care giver.

 Naturally, I had to respond to this one.  Imagine this is your Mother, and NOT your mother-in-law.

My Mother has said and done all of these things to me, and to my (now 2) husbands.  With her, it never stopped, either.  She was like Janice, most all of my childhood, and the behavior has only escalated over the years.  The relationship was just as bizarre, if not more so, and without the strength and support of my first husband, I'd have never survived alive.  He helped me stop much of the insanity, but it has been my second husband who helped me break all ties with my Mother.

I, too, took out a restraining order because there was no fixing it.  My Mother was everything Janice is -- and more.  She has been dealing with mental illness most all of her adult life, which is no reflection on her, but she refuses to do anything about it, saying she "won't take goofball pills to be around anybody," and that the rest of us can just deal with her.  I have. 

If Anna Laura can find the strength to support her husband, it would be the greatest thing she could ever do for the man.  He may not be a "wuss."  He is probably just worn-out from the years of dealing with his mother and can't fight it any longer.  I agree with Dr. Phil that dealing with his mother IS Morgan's "job" but he strikes me as just beaten-down, and his bursts of authority are probably just adrenalin rushes.  Anna Laura is right to want to break the cycle, not only for herself and Morgan, but for the sake of the children involved.  The sister-in-law is so correct when she says it will kill Anna Laura if it doesn't stop.

It is incredibly validating to have a professional telling you that your gut instinct is right -- get out of toxic relationships, regardless of who's involved.

Ok I so believe the mother in law is soooooooo lying.... she seems like a psycho lol... and she cant even tell the truth cause she knows what she's doing is wrong but yet she dont want to face the music!! She needs to grow up!!!! Get her own life and leave her son alone! 

  

<3 Setina 

I feel for the wives.  I had a situation just like this.  My husband cut his mother off and our marriage has been stronger than ever.  My mother-in-law would stop at nothing to upset our marriage and my husband.  He has also been outcast by other family members because he chose to marry and have a life.  Then never accepted my daughter, his stepdaughter and went as far as when we were pregnant with child, telling my husband how did he know it was his.  Of course, to this day, his own daughter is not acknowledged.  Their LOSS!!!  Our life has gone on and is happier than ever. 

  

Break those ties with in-laws that are not supportive. 

Ask Sigmond Freud(sp?) 

  

And he is a whimp. 

The mother in law on the show came off as this sweet little old lady,and I am sure this is why the cops in her town let her get away with stalking these poor people! Everytime the daughter inlaw got upset,the motherinlaw had this evil grin,like the cat who disemboweled the canary. This woman(the motherinlaw) doesnt give 2 dimes about her grandchildren,except to control and manipulate them just like she did her son. She has a severe case of Bordeline Personality Disorder,and I am shocked Dr. Phil didnt give these people the advice he should have,and that's "NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT!!" Keep your kids as far away from this woman as possible!! It's also unrealistic for Dr Phill to suggest they move their whole family,including her disabled mother,away from her. WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS START RECORDING each and every encounter with this evil woman,and MAKING the police do their jobs!! If she drives down your street,tape it. If she calls, tape it!! Bring your camcorder/tape recorder everywhere-make it your new best friend!! 

There's only one way to stop people like her-and that's with firm boundaries,and NO CONTACT!! 

I wish these people well on healing their marriage-but I can gaurtantee you the mother inlaw's antics will never,ever stop. 

  

Oh I so wish my husband could have seen this show because it is 100% his mother ... to tell everyone exactly how scary she is she had OUR sons name put on her ankle as a Tattoo ... she then turned and said this way he is with me no matter where I go ... she too has threatened me ... oh how I wish he could have seen this one!  I feel for the daugther n law because I understand what she is going through and it is not easy ... I have actually told myself many times I was going to leave due to his mother but here I am still here and fighting the battle of the monster n law.

 Dear Anna-Laura,
Put a Hungarian accent on your mother in law, and you've got my mother in law. She does indeed I believe as one person said here, have a borderline personality disorder. It is always amazing to me what good actresses these women are. They are even scary because they will get what they want one way or the other, sometimes even if it means breaking the law. She denied and denied things that even her own son said she did indeed do!!!

My situation is even a little worse. My MIL convinced my H to put her on the deed to our house becasue she had loaned him money 15 yrs prior and it wasn't all paid back. Now that she's been paid back, she won't take her name off the house, and 5 yrs ago I learned that the way the deed was written , I am left out of owning any of my own home.If my H predeceases her, she gets the house. Meanwhile for 17 years, I am the one who has helped pay the bills, and have done all the upkeep of the house.She has never contributed one ounce of work, or one red cent to support this house. She also called me and threatened me, saying that if my H dies, she's going to throw me out into the street, she doesn't care if I have a penny to my name or not.

I saw a good divorce lawyer, and a good real estate lawyer, and I have a very good case to sue her in both situations. My husband verbally stands up to her, but he won't take her to court to correct the situatiuon. If he doens't change his mind soon and take her to court, I am going to file for divorce as well. This and she  have destroyed my marriage. Oh by the way, she (MIL) owns a 6 bedroom house in Little Neck NY (worth about 850K) and has a 2 bedroom apt in Manhattan that is rent controlled...pays $90.00 a month. It 's just plain GREED! Anna-Laura, I would love to chat with you.