Quote From: bostetNo one expects to be treated like a slave, but somehow, some of us end up there and wonder, how in the world did I get here? How did that prince charming i married turn into the joker i'm living with?
I've been married for 15 years to a man whom i thought was my protector...now i realize he is my controller or as he says....my boss. We have three children...he NEVER changed a diaper, gave a bath, bottle or feeding, took them the doctor, attended a school party, field trip, or parent conference. When I had something i absolutely had to do (i.e. gyn. visit etc), he would "babysit" the kids, or hire a sitter. Yes he actually says he is babysitting his own children...
Now that they are older, I'm the one who takes them to practices, wrestling matches, football games, soccer games, scout meetings, etc. because he says hes not doing it and its my job as a mom.
Every day of our married life, i have cooked every meal (mostly from scratch), I lay out his clothes, do all of the housework, pay the bills, do all of the shopping, and take care of the pets. And yes, i also work full time. He does mow the grass with a riding mower, but he orders me to do the trimming and weeding. I also have to keep the autos clean and filled with gas.
Our home is not finished (he has been working on it for over 13 years) and i am forbidden to do any of the "construction work' including painting.
I am required to keep the children quiet when he is sleeping in and to have his dinner hot whenever he decides to come home from work, golfing, hunting, fishing, or just hanging out with his buddies.
The children are always with me, unless they are in school. With everything i have to do, i am lucky to get five hours of sleep a night, including weekends, and he expects to be "tucked in " every night and sometimes "woken up" in the morning....he expects to get it when he wants it.
he is very controlling, and has also told me that if i leave him, they will never find me....I don't think he would ever hurt me, but there is always that slim chance....and my kids need me.....
It sounds like a miserable existance to me.
There are people and places that can help you get out, this is a dangerous relationship. I've got news for you, he will hurt you. When he is gone, put your kids in the car and just go..
Think about your children. If they're girls they will grow up thinking this is the way that a man should treat them. If they are boys, they will grow up thinking this is the way to treat women.
What would happen if you just said "NO" I'm not going to do your bidding anymore? If you're scared it's because you know he will hurt you.. and when he's done with you what will stop him from hurting the kids...
Get out.. Get out now!
(Original Air Date: 03/20/06) Do you constantly have to compromise to get along with your mate? Do you feel like you have to give up a vital part of yourself to be in a relationship? Dr. Phil talks to controlling guests and the loved ones who feel trapped by them. Jeffrey hates that his wife of seven months, Mindy, goes out clubbing with her younger friends, who he says are a bad influence on her. Mindy leaves the kids with Jeffrey's 16-year-old daughter and parties until 6:00 a.m., while he works the night shift. Mindy calls Jeffrey “a warden,” and says if he had his way, she’d never leave the house. Then, Jason claims his wife, Terrie, is lazy. He says he has to clean the house, do chores, take care of the kids and balance two checkbooks! Terrie says her large chest and arthritis prevent her from doing household tasks. Is Terrie making excuses not to clean up her act? Talk about the show here.
