Hi, long story short. I have a daughter who is 4 january 2006 and her mother and me never dated we had a short affair, her mother and i met in the same state where i live and then she moved back to her home town which is 4 hour flight to her home, I went there hoping to discuss being together and when i left i receieved a short text message telling me to not bothing going back to her. I found out it was apparently because i had a girlfriend of sorts in my own state in between the time of her leaving our state and moving to her home town even though she had a boyfriend who she finished with shortly before i went for the 10 days to talk about "us" 4 weeks later i found out by her that she was pregnant and she said it was mine... I offered to go back and make a family with her and my un-born but she did not want that and became very negative towards me with abusive emails. at 5 months pregnant she found another man who wanted to be with her and the baby and she became very negative and told me that my child would not be calling me "dad" and that her current lover would be called dad because he went through the pregnancy with her. then her and her partner had a fight and broke up she asked me to move to her state and i started calling around for prices of moving my belongings, she then told me that she did not want me there that she was back with her partner the next time she asked me i had started dating another person who she did not like and she asked me to move to her home town again i said no because i wanted to try things with my partner I also asked for a DNA test because her history of me and another guy in one night was not a uncommon thing the last night she and i had sex she was at her ex boyfriends house and thats when everything became weird with us (before i knew about the pregnancy) ok i better cut this shorter, my daughter was born and she had her "dads" middle name as her middle name and i was not allowed to see her born so i did not want to watch some other man holding my new born baby (if the baby was mine of course) so i did not go, I then recieved an email from the partner 2 days later informing me the baby was born and then a email a month later telling me she was pregnant and engaged which i heard from the partner not her. I saw my lilttle girl when her mother brought her over when she was 8 months for about 24 hours all up. I felt out of place and unwanted and intrusive. My friend and i fell pregnant when my daughter was just under 2 years old and the mother did not take that kindly, she did however arrange for me to start calling our daughter so thats where mine and my daughters life started bonding, through the 9 months of the pregnancy alot of things went wrong but i am to blame for some, my daughters mother broke up with her partner and started telling me she wanted me and i was so confused because i dreamed since my daughter was born that i could be with her and i felt like i wanted her to to the point i thought i was inlove with her, she tried taking mine and my mother-to-be friendship away she hurt my friend and i ignored it because i was not thinking straight all i kept thinking was, i would be with my lilttle girl the dream i had was becoming real. about 6 months after my son was born she became cagey and demanding, negative towards me. she gave me alot of demands which could not be met and so at that time she told me not to bother going over there. i saw my daughter on her 3rd birthday (I saw her just after her 2nd and also when she was 2!/2) and I was allowed to take her out for her birthday just me and her and i was thrilled me and her mother got on well but then i came home from the trip and was abused constantly she went to my friend and told my friend that me and her fooled around while i was there and it never did happen, (she always hated mine and my sons mothers friendship) my friend did not believe her and she became more hostile i was sick of everything and i could not forgive her for the lies she said so i told her that i did not want anything to do with her that i will only speak to her about our daughter and nothing more she got angrier and told me she was bringing out daughter to my state, it was arround the time my mother was coming over from new zealand and i asked if i could have her for one day (not night) so my mum could spend time with both her grandchildren and she said no that i could not see our little girl without her being there. i did not like this and sent a pre-action proposal for visitation and she demanded so much that i could not accept half so i did another one with both what she wanted and i wanted together to make it easier on her as well as me but more importantly easy on our little girl so she did not feel uncomfortable she told me she would not accept anything if it was not her proposal even down to my wording of something which was the same but worded in my way. she came to perth and decided to leave 3 days ealier which meant my mother never got to met my daughter i went to see my daughter with her mother and her granparents present, there was a beach just over the hill not far and i asked my daughter if she wanted to go the beach she said yes so i told her that i would ask mummy first my daughter ran to her mummy and asked and we walked to the beach i turned around and her mother gave me the most terrible look i've ever seen her give me, later she abused me telling me i manipulated my little girl to get what i wanted (to go the beach alone with her) she made it hard to see our little girl after that i text messaged asked when was a good time and she replied telling me that i should choose a time and day and she would be there, so i did and she said she could not make it and made an earlier time which she knew i could not be available i explained to her but she would not allow any other time. so in 7 days i saw my daughter just the once, when she went back to her state on the night of my sons birthday my mother and my sons mother were sitting around and my friend got text messages abusing her and saying horrible things about me my friend ignored her and she didn't bothered abusing her again. my mother and i spoke to my daughter on the sunday at the sceduled time and everything was good with me and my daughter the next saturday the mother demanded me to call that day to talk about our daughter i told her i could not because i was working at the time so i called on the sunday and i was told that my daughter would not be made available anymore for contact. so she stoped all contact between my daughter and me for over 12 weeks until for some reason she emailed me and my parents saying she would be online with our daughter if we wanted to do web cam. well i was thrilled and came online the problem was i do not have fast speed interent at home or a web cam, I used my friends video camera and her ADSL and i told my daughetrs mum that i was at my friends and that it might not be possible some sundays because my friend may have things on which cant be stoped she said ok... so that leads me to now, for the past 2 months every sunday i have been on web cam for several hours at a time with my daughter and i have been calling on weds, I called 2 weeks ago as normal and they were not at home so i waited over 30 minutes incase they were late but not call so i left to go out with my girlfriend ice skating, I come out of ice skating and had a abusive text message on my mobile asking me what my problem was and why i was not answering my phone, my answer was i cant take my mobile on the ice i got a text message back telling me i was a bad father and keep hurting my daughter, i spoke to my friend and she told me that my daughters mother called up an hour after i left. Now today My friend has to go out she is from England but now lives here in Australia and she has family members coming from the uk and there is a big family meet about 15 - 20 miles away from where she lives, she has one set of keys and she needed to dead lock the front door and lock the back, she apologized to me but told me that she was going out at 11am and that i could try and speak to my daughter earlier since she noticed her mother online so I messaged my daughters mother asking if my daughter could come on then because I would not be able to come online at the normal time because i would be locked in the house until some late hour ot the night and i need to go home early for work the next day, she abused me and told me that either i come online at the normal time or i can say good bye to ever speaking to my daughter again, I really wish i could be online but it's not possible I found out about an hour ago that the camera was going with my friend so she could video her family so even if i could stay i would not be able to have visual or mic contact. I do not know what to do, She is blackmailing me and i can't do anything about it. I've mentioned going for visitation but she wants me to fly over there 4 times a year for at least a week which is hard with having a full time job i just started. She has informed me today that she's with her partner and is due for another baby. i'm wondering if she is trying to push me out again like she has for most of my daughters life and only wanting me back in it when she does not have a partner. She has told me on a numerous times that when i'm late to call it hurts our little girl, if my daughter loves talking to me on web cam and telephone and is hurt by a small lateness what is the mother going to be doing to my little girl??? I can't imagine ever hurting her the way i feel her mother is hurting her twice now she has gave my daughter and me something and took it away..
Is my daughter safe in the care of a mother who doesn't seem to care how our daughter might feel? I'm hurt because i can't speak to her but i'm a grown up man who understands what's happening and can deal with my emotions but she is 3 almost 4 and wouldn't understand at all why she could see her daddy and now cant on web cam and telephone.
Has anyone got any advice I'm desperate, I have seen lawyers in the past but financially it's so expensive, she is worth the money but getting it as soon as i want it is another thing though!
