My ex and I have been divorced more than 12 years and share custody of our 2 sons. When the children were young, we shared similar parenting skills. As time has gone by, dad has not tried to instill any responsibility into the kids. When our oldest turned 16, he bought him a car and paid all the bills that went with it, including gas for the tank (16 yrs old and no job). When he smashed that car up, dad bought him another. Our son is very lazy and will spend more time trying to figure out how to escape from chores than the chores would actually take to do. Now that he's 19, he thinks that he's an adult and can do whatever he wants. Dad is more lenient with him, even allowing him to attend girl-boy sleepovers since he's 15. Needless to say, since dad hands him everything (and when dad says no, grandma and grandpa...on dad's side...will say yes). He has no job but always seems to have money in his pockets thanks to his dad and grandparents (dad is extremely concerned with his son having a solid social life). When I ask him to do something around the house, he'll flat out refuse, knowing if I don't pay for something for him, somone else will. He's now expecting his tuition bill to be paid next month. When I asked him to cut and bag the grass, he refused, saying he doesn't bag grass. I know when I refuse to pay his tuition bill, his grandparents will quickly step in. My son has no respect for me and I refuse to pay for that respect. How can I make him see that the way he treats me is wrong? I can't hold anything back or take anything away because he just gets it elsewhere and, consequently, feels he doesn't owe me anything, including respect. It breaks my heart that I've raised such a self-centered son.
