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Topic : 06/09 Loving Dumb

Number of Replies: 294
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Created on : Friday, March 31, 2006, 12:51:47 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/05/06) Love -- It can be the best feeling in your life, or it can leave you scarred, wounded and completely baffled. When Jeannie first appeared on the show, she was surprised to learn what men really thought of her. She got a wake-up call from Dr. Phil, but has she put his advice to work and have things changed? Next, Hayley and Chad's romance started to sizzle after their trip to Love Smart Island. When Dr. Phil sends them on an adventure, what does Hayley learn about herself when it comes to relationships, and could you be making the same mistake? Then, Todd, one of Love Smart Island's popular bachelors, is back to face the reality of why he can't find the one. Will he change his game when he meets three new bachelorettes? Plus, find out why men dump women without an explanation, and see a special musical performance that will fill your heart with love. Tune in to find out if you're unlucky in love or if you’re just loving dumb. Join the discussion.

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April 5, 2006, 11:19 am CDT

What we've learned through the years

Quote From: blueyesak

I know in my past I haven't dated a lot, in fact I didn't start dating till I was 21 and I had a wide range of dates.  Just recently I have noticed that when I do meet a guy for a date I think it went ok, and yes I'm nervous but I don't think them not calling me or leaving me an email telling me that "hey I had a great time but you are not my type lets just be friends".  I had one guy after our first date email 5 days later to say "He as you probably figured out this just won't work.. I wish you the best"...   Come on, one date tells you all this? heck I was just trying to figure him out after one date and he did pick the one place in my home town that everyone goes to so yes I was a tad uncomfortable being there as I knew most of not all the people in the resturant. 

  

So what is up with me?  if anyone has any answers I would love to hear them. 

It's nothing with you, personally.  This has happened as a result of 35 years of feminist B.S. 

  

Here's what we have learned through the years: 

  

1.  If we call right away, we are considered "clingy" and are immediately written off. 

2.  If we confess our feelings right away, women "get scared". 

3.  If we pretend you don't exist, YOU WANT US. 

 
April 5, 2006, 12:42 pm CDT

Todd,Todd,Todd!

She broke up with you fifty times in 2 years?  You deserve better than that.   Too much drama.  

 Was it that she seemed unattainable that made her more desirable?     

  

You seem like a great guy and I wish you every good thing in your search for Miss Right.  

 
April 5, 2006, 1:15 pm CDT

just be yourself todd

Quote From: bachor

how long did you date this guy?   i would think one could fkake a personality for so long before it got aught up to him or her.  i dated the man i am with a year before i moved in with him then dated for 4  more then we got married.

That is one thing i always made sure of was that i was who i was and that was that!!!! If someone did not like me for whatever reason then the relationship was not to be. Too many people change for the moment to get the guy or girl, act differently, be someone they really are not and then when the relationship continues they seem to revert back to the person they truly are....  this is when the problems occur.... 

You are one hell of a good looking man, with a charming personality and just don't change a thing about yourself. Your time will come.  

Have fun dating.If i was single Todd, i would jump at the chance to meet you. I am however, married with 3 children and love my life. 2 teenegaers and a 7 month old!!!!!!!!  I am 43 years young!!!! 

Have a good life. 

 
April 5, 2006, 1:31 pm CDT

TODD

 Hi Todd (if you're reading this at all),

Just wanted to say that I, as I'm sure many many others, find you irresistible charming.
I thought your honesty (or as honest as it can be on TV - hmmm...) in your approach to love and dating is extremely rare in a man. I wish I was geographically closer, because I have that very rare feeling we would hit it off . But good luck with your search, that girl you got hooked up with at today's show, as lovely and pretty and nice as she was, I could tell she was not for you...sorry. But in all honesty there is no way that the guy like you would be alone for long, just try to pick someone who is emotionally available:)

Ciao

Ola
 
April 5, 2006, 1:38 pm CDT

No need to give reason for break up

I recently broke things off with a guy who I thought I loved.  He said all the right things, did all the right things in the beginning and I fell hard.  Once he knew I was hooked, he started treating me badly and his manipulation became an art form.  In looking back, I suppose I let him manipulate me and that is why I was so mad at myself.  The good news is I dumped his *** and am feeling stronger each day.  He keeps trying to contact me and I've not responded at all.  I don;t think you need to give controlling and maniuplative people a reason for your break up as I read earlier in an email here.  If a person treats you badly, that is reason enough.   
 
April 5, 2006, 1:53 pm CDT

04/05 Loving Dumb

I just caught the last part of this show but I can relate to the dating woes.  I have been divorced almost 8 years and been in a few short term relationships that broke up for a variety of reasons.  My last date and actually relationship was over a year ago.

Since i teach in a middle school setting -- I don't meet anyone through work so I have tried the online dating and a variety of other settings but just not meeting anyone. I have reached the point that I have kind of giving up as things just aren't working for me.

Online dating -- might work for some but I rarely get a response. Now I have been told I am not ugly and a great guy but just don't seem to interest any women.

My 15 year old daughter says I am too picky but it is hard to be picky when women don't respond in the first place.  :-)
 
April 5, 2006, 1:56 pm CDT

An observation

  

Dear Dr Phil,  I have been watching the "Love Smart" shows since your book came out, and I have noticed something.  Why is it that all the people you help are young, pretty and successful?  I am single and 50. The problem I have run into is that I don't know where to meet men my age, and on the rare occaisions that I do, most of them are going through a mid-life crises and want pretty 25 year olds or just a roll in the hay.  I will be honest, I am not looking for marriage, but a nice steady relationship would be nice.   Maybe they don't exist at my age anymore.  xlnc 

 
April 5, 2006, 2:00 pm CDT

progress

First and foremost Jeanie, I think you are beautiful. You do have a wonderful personality and I think deep down we all can relate to how you feel. I had someone ask a coworker if being on the show and talking with DrPhil helped? I have to say that yes it did. I know what I am looking for in a man and how to behave myself. An no it didn't > I have emmersed myself in work as to not take any one up on their offer to go out on a date. I know that it is hard for me to take a man serious if he has just gotten out of any type of relationship. Watching the shows and the guests I can relate to everyone, a little bit here and there. Dr Phil was right..if the walls dont come down we will end up lonely and alone. This may seem trivial to some people, maybe love and attraction have come easy to you. Maybe you are misunderstanding that having a close bond with another human is what life is all about. As a guest you put yourself out there in hopes that 1- you can get some help, 2- that those who identify with you can get some help. 

Please understand- it is no easy task to raise a child on your own after a divorce, put yourself through school and find a job and still expect to have love fall in your lap. All the women on the show have had obstacles to overcome as well as millions of women in America do today. 

  

Dr Phil is offering us the help we need to stay sane while looking for a life partner. 

 
April 5, 2006, 2:03 pm CDT

robert-

that robert guy seems like alot of guys I know and have dated. i'd love to pick his brain and find out why him and guys like him think the way they do about relationships.
 
April 5, 2006, 2:04 pm CDT

Single and Hating it

I saw todays show and I was very move at how many woman out there that are doing the wrong things to find the men they want. Well for me I am doing most of it right and still get the short end of the stick. I am too good of a woman that get me into trouble. You see I know alot about men and what they are looking for in a woman and what they don't want in a woman and I still don't understand why I been still single for over 12 years I guess cause I settle for the less than what I really want in a man.I always am open minded to whatever conversation men bring to the table and work from that. But at the same time I let them know who I am and what I want too. So it all comes down to listen being open minded and most of all listen, listen and smile no matter what downside there is in a man you have to give it your best. I've meet many men but no one who can relate to me in the ways I want . But, they still surprise at how wonderful and fun woman I am and still single especially for my age, cause I am into men as much as men wants a woman to be,in more ways than one. So yes I am still single but still know what men wants and don't want. That is no comments not until they see something so special in you they won't find that in anyone else???? Go figure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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