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Topic : Good Parenting

Number of Replies: 277
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 12:45:41 pm
Author : dataimport
Being a good parent means more than just changing diapers and wiping noses. Share with us your strategies and stories of great parenting.

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August 30, 2005, 7:18 pm CDT

Good Parenting

Haha. Its not all fun and games I know. I am a mother of 2 twins. nurchuring is always good but do nurcher them too much.  

also I just had these 2 (jordan and scott) a month ago. time flys. I would love to hear what peopl have to say. 

 
September 4, 2005, 4:38 am CDT

good parenting

Good parenthing...I'am not sure what that is, I think that you can see and say that after a couple of years when the kids are adults, and they are good adults with a good and healty background, and when the kids tel you : mum /dad you did it great with us, Thanks for that.  

  

We have two girls 15 and 17 years, the 15 year old girl is in a difficult age at the moment and I hope she will tell me that I was a good mother when she is an adult.  

 
September 9, 2005, 4:06 pm CDT

Good Parenting

Good parenting is striving to teach and to guide our children into becoming good, productive, and caring adults. Knowing that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes and when we do, we are willing and able to admit that we were wrong and apologizing to our children is a strong asset as a parent. We must be willing to to make changes when needed but at the same time stay strong in our beliefs and convictions, being true to ourselves as well as our children. Parenting is not easy but a great rewarding experience and a good parent will be there for their children and will step up to the plate no matter what, even in the midst of chaios and mistakes. I think also we must not compare ourselves with others as we are all different personalities as well as our children and parents who think they are better then others, well, I do not consider them a good parent, I think it is all in the attitude and desires within ourselves and the efforts that we put forth in raising our children. One may be a great parent but it doesn't always mean our children are going to grow and become as we had taught them as eventually there will come a time when they will make their own decissions and decide their lives paths. a good parent, I believe will pray often for their children and consistently help teach and guide them in the hopes that their children will grow and mature and be a responsible adult. Always encouraging and complimenting when needed and deserved as well as disciplining and guiding affectively.
 
October 11, 2005, 3:41 pm CDT

Good Parenting

Quote From: jettav

Good parenting is striving to teach and to guide our children into becoming good, productive, and caring adults. Knowing that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes and when we do, we are willing and able to admit that we were wrong and apologizing to our children is a strong asset as a parent. We must be willing to to make changes when needed but at the same time stay strong in our beliefs and convictions, being true to ourselves as well as our children. Parenting is not easy but a great rewarding experience and a good parent will be there for their children and will step up to the plate no matter what, even in the midst of chaios and mistakes. I think also we must not compare ourselves with others as we are all different personalities as well as our children and parents who think they are better then others, well, I do not consider them a good parent, I think it is all in the attitude and desires within ourselves and the efforts that we put forth in raising our children. One may be a great parent but it doesn't always mean our children are going to grow and become as we had taught them as eventually there will come a time when they will make their own decissions and decide their lives paths. a good parent, I believe will pray often for their children and consistently help teach and guide them in the hopes that their children will grow and mature and be a responsible adult. Always encouraging and complimenting when needed and deserved as well as disciplining and guiding affectively.

This person has it RIGHT!! 

  

So many people treat their children like pets, just something that will be around for it's lifetime.  Most parents don't seem to realize that a parents' job is to RAISE children.......... to teach them how to be adults.  Adulthood is where they all (hopefully) are headed. 

  

Also most parents don't realize that children need to be taught predominantly by EXAMPLE. 

  

I wish people would talk more with their children.  I started talking with mine as soon as they were born!!    Who KNOWS what or how much a child may understand at any age???  With this technique, my children scored in the 99% in any vocabulary and verbal skills tests they were given!!  They are all avid readers. 

 
October 12, 2005, 3:12 pm CDT

Licenced to parent

We can all say that as a result of good parenting a child should become and adult who does/doesn't  ________. We can all fill in the blank with hundreds of things good people do or don't do. But How do we get there?  

  

Good parents start with good people in a good relationship (between spouses)... opposite or same sex. Before I go any further, I need to address that statement. Children need to have two adult in their home lives to give them the best opportunity to live a full life. At a very basic, superficial level the child gains one of two things: a) two incomes (and a whole host of things associated with socioeconomics)  or b) the full time attention of at least one parent. I understand that their are some situations where this is not possible (and shouldn't happen) I.E. Death, abuse (physical, verbal, or psychological), neglect, etc. However, the growing trend in the country is to leave our spouse for reasons other than those examples. I'm not claiming that children of single parents can't thrive, I know many who have. What I am saying is that those people had to overcome a lot of unnecessary hardships. Furthermore, putting children in those situation when it is not necessary ought to be illegal!  

  

But what is "good?" 

"having desirable or positive qualities especially those suitable for a thing specified"  

"full: having the normally expected amount" 

"moral excellence or admirableness" 

I could go on with the technical definitions (and feel free to consult a dictionary if you want more of them) but isn't "good" a subjective term? Isn't "good" relative to those things not seen in a favorable light? Then who am I to call someone a good parent? Who are you to say the same? Maybe it's not our place to call someone a good parent. But we do it every day in our society. I'm not talking about judgments you can I make, I'm talking about adoption. Two people who have a one night stand, with no intentions of having a child, can have a child no on is going to tell them otherwise. But if two perfectly willing people, who physically lack the ability (one or both) to have children, want to adopt we as a society make them jump through a number of hoops to prove they are "good" people who can provide a child with the best opportunity to live a full, healthy life.  

  

So, someone has defined what a good parent is and frankly no one argues with the idea that we should screen adoptive parents. So how is that so far fetched from licencing people to parent? Yes, there are some "bad" parents who slip through the cracks of the adoption system. But, there are by far and away more "bad" parents who had absolutely no regulation what-so-ever. How can this idea offend so many when we use the same screening process on (mostly) very willing couples who want children? 

 
October 15, 2005, 4:47 am CDT

Thought I was beign a good parent but bad typist........

Ah yes, I thought I was being a good parent. I was trying hard. My daughter had a terrible smell in her room. I cleaned and cleaned and could not find it. It turned out that she had taken a little sweetie watermelon from our garden and put it in her sock drawer to keep.  It molded, the socks molded, and how I didn't notice it is beyond me. She did raise it, (watermelons and peppers were her job) but......sigh......well, at least I know where the smell came from.....
 
October 16, 2005, 10:07 am CDT

Totally Clueless

 Desperately need some advice .          I am a 26yr old single mom of a very beautiful and intelligent 8 yr old. When I found out I was pregnant for her I broke up with her father because I finally saw who he was( Liar, Cheat and troublemaker). Well a couple of yrs ago he talked me into letting them meet. My daughter was quickly drawn to him but I realized he was never going to change. Shortly after he got into trouble and was placed behind bars.My Daughter didn't know him very long but she fell in love with her "dad" and now I am torn about what I should Do.  Should I let him fade like some distant memory?   Should I tell my daughter that he is in jail???   I feel like she is happy and we have a stable home...
I never Bad mouth him...As a matter of fact I always remind her that He does love her very much and I'm sure he misses her.   Do you think knowing her dad is a bad person will affect her?? Should I allow him to write or should I keep on telling my daughter that I am clueless to his whereabouts?
I don't want her to be angry at me when she gets older for not telling her, but on the same note I'm not sure if children should know that one of their parents is BAD.   Please Help me If you can...
 
October 16, 2005, 3:37 pm CDT

Good Parenting

Quote From: cscutie79

 Desperately need some advice .          I am a 26yr old single mom of a very beautiful and intelligent 8 yr old. When I found out I was pregnant for her I broke up with her father because I finally saw who he was( Liar, Cheat and troublemaker). Well a couple of yrs ago he talked me into letting them meet. My daughter was quickly drawn to him but I realized he was never going to change. Shortly after he got into trouble and was placed behind bars.My Daughter didn't know him very long but she fell in love with her "dad" and now I am torn about what I should Do.  Should I let him fade like some distant memory?   Should I tell my daughter that he is in jail???   I feel like she is happy and we have a stable home...
I never Bad mouth him...As a matter of fact I always remind her that He does love her very much and I'm sure he misses her.   Do you think knowing her dad is a bad person will affect her?? Should I allow him to write or should I keep on telling my daughter that I am clueless to his whereabouts?
I don't want her to be angry at me when she gets older for not telling her, but on the same note I'm not sure if children should know that one of their parents is BAD.   Please Help me If you can...

I am not a parent, so if you don't find me credible that's alright. But any interestion between two people is a relationship, be it parent/child or not. One of the important things about any serious relationship (and by serious I mean those relationship which are more than task related i.e. those which are usually temporary and get us to a short term goal, for instnace the relationship that any Wendy's employee has with a customer) is that, among other things, communication must be open and honest.  

  

For purposes of argment lets assume most people who go to jail are guilty. Good people don't go to jail! Jail is there to punish bad people who have broken laws (Wheather this works or not in a whole other issue!). As you established in your message, you feel he is a bad person too.  

  

Back to open and honest comminucation... it's agreed that he is a bad person. You need to be honest about it. Dad cannot be an exception to this rule. If going to jail is bad, than Dad is too. Otherwise, what happens if someone starts thinking "My Dad is in jail, but that's ok because he's my dad." or worse yet "My Dad isn't a bad person, so being in jail isn't bad." 

  

Second of all, a good parent begins with being a good person. Normally, I don't support single parenting. However, when one party isn't willing to be a responsible adult and do things that are necessary to provide their child with a good life, sometimes there are no other options. Clearly, he wasn't willing to do/not do whatever it was that was needed for him to stay out of jail, and be a parent and provide for his child. That being said, you say he will never change, in which case you should never let him near his child, until he proves that he can be a respinsible adult who is willing to give his child the best.  

 
October 19, 2005, 9:19 am CDT

Love.

Quote From: rainy_

Haha. Its not all fun and games I know. I am a mother of 2 twins. nurchuring is always good but do nurcher them too much.  

also I just had these 2 (jordan and scott) a month ago. time flys. I would love to hear what peopl have to say. 

1. Hug your children, hold them all day, kiss them 100 times a day, talk to them like they are your best friends because they are. 

2. Before you yell, get mad or show anger, decide if its worth it- did they spill paint on the floor or did they intentionally hit the dog. Did they put a snack on the new couch or did they go out of their way to hit someone else? I don't care about carpets, couches, how many times I have to mop the floor. I do care about them learning to treat animals and subsequently, humans, with respect and love.  

3. You chose to have them. They come before you, your spouse, your grown family members.  If there is only enough money for one pair of sneakers, you can get another month out of yours. If the choice is goldfish crackers or budweiser, the crackers must always come first. 

4. If you ever resent your children, wonder what your life would be without them, or miss partying, think about the mothers in war torn countries who carry their dead children for miles so at least they will know where their babies are buried. Those women would cherish another day of cleaning up spilled cereal. 

 
October 22, 2005, 12:11 pm CDT

Is it just a stage?

I really wish that there was really a book on the correct way to raise your children, but let's face it, there isn't. It's basically trial and error. 

My situation is, I have 4 girls. 7,4,3,and 1. My 7 year old lives 18 hrs away, which goes without saying, very hard. My other 3 are at home 24-7. My 4year old, Ryan, is getting such a smarty brittches, that I can't take it. My 3 year old, Bailey, use to be so sweet, but now is following in Ryan's footsteps. My 1year old, Emma-Grace is to the point to where she won't mind. I'm worried that I have waited to long to discipline. Seems like I would have it right by now, Wrong!  

It's my fault, I am not consistant. I say, "If you do that again, I'm gonna," about a million times and never do anything. They know this. They're kids but they're not stupid! 

So, I know my problem, now the question is how do I change it? Is it too late? Am I doomed?  Help! 

 
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