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Topic : 07/24 Teen Dating and Abuse

Number of Replies: 570
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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:16:29 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/19/06) It's every parent's worst fear – his or her teen daughter hooking up with a “bad boy.” But what do you do when your worries come true, and your daughter comes home with a black eye? Melody feared for the safety of her 17-year-old daughter, Coryn, so she filed a restraining order against her boyfriend, Brian. Coryn says her mom has it all wrong, and Brian treats her well. What does Brian have to say? And will Coryn learn to see her mom's point of view? Then, Jack and Wendy brought their 20-year-old daughter, Katie, to the show because she has broken up with her boyfriend over 20 times. She keeps getting back together with him even though they say he has called her names, thrown her to the floor, choked her and hit her. Will Katie continue the cycle after her talk with Dr. Phil? Share your stories and talk about the show here.

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February 4, 2007, 11:10 am CST

07/24 Teen Dating and Abuse

I can understand to this topic.  I was in an abusive relationship.  My boyfriend never layed a hand on me but he did call m names and wouls say that I was lucky to be with him.  When we broke up I wanted to numb myself and I did some stuff that wasn't smart.  I loved him and a part of me still does.  Even though now I hate him.  At first I was in huge denile that he was abusing me and then when I looked at this more closely he did.

I think one of the main resons that I was with him in the first place was because he seemed like a good guy.  He was my first love.  I really didn't find myself a looker and I felt good when I was with him.

It's been a year since we've broke up and he says so many rude things about me, even when I go to the youth group he works in.

For all of those teens that have delt with this, my heart goes out to them.

 
February 8, 2007, 12:38 pm CST

Abusive relationships and what i did

Hello my name is brandie I had just last week february 1st 2007 broke up with my now ex-boyfriend. I broke up with him b/c he was telling me i am fat and that i need to loose weight. He was telling me who i could talk to and who i couldn't talk to. I would get on the internet to talk to a class mate of mine and he would be litterally looking over my shoulder to see what was being said. He was accusing me of cheating on him. But out of all of that He was the one that would talk a lot of smack about me and talk to other girls and have other girls call him on the house phone and go and do what he wants and come home when he wants. there were times i would be home by my self all night b/c he wouldn't come home. He would use his car as and excuse. but that was only until i caught on to what he was doing. i had finally told him that i am not putting up with his s***and that i refuse to and that the relationship is considered done and that he could kiss my a**.
 
March 15, 2007, 8:53 am CDT

Need Help for Verbal Abuse

I need some help.  I am so alone but on the outside things look rosey.  My husband recently threw our son's radio down and busted it. When I told him this was the last straw, he became very upset.  We were on the way to church and he turned around, took me and our son home, made us get out and he went on alone.  When he came home, he said he wanted a "family meeting." He informed us he was through with us, handed me the mortgage bill which takes my whole paycheck and said pay it or let them foreclose.  I sold a little something I had to make the payment and when he found out, he said I could have borrowed the money from him and paid him back.  I have no money  now at all.  I had told someone before this I would furnish some refreshments for a youth group gathering and last night when I had it on the list he told me if I had told the woman I'd get it then I'd have to pay for it.  I told him I had no money and he said that was my fault. If I had't tried to control the house I wouldn't have to make the house payment.  He keeps asking me what is wrong but I don't have the words or courage yet to tell him.  I say "nothing" and he asks why my expression is like it is.  I told him finally last night I was sorry he didn't like the look I had on my face. He said, "see? there you go!"  How in the world am I to talk with this man?  He keeps me confused and tore up and I'm so tired. Please help me.

Tiffany

 
March 19, 2007, 8:46 am CDT

07/24 Teen Dating and Abuse

Quote From: Pleasance

Verbal Abuse.....does not just consist of verbal altercations.  

   

   

Generally, in a verbally abusive relationship the abuser denies the abuse.  

   

Verbal abuse most often takes place behind the scenes, behind closed doors or away from others.  

   

Physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse.  

   

Always.!!!!  

 
March 19, 2007, 10:15 am CDT

To thattiffany.....there is an abuse message board that

Quote From: thatiffany

I need some help.  I am so alone but on the outside things look rosey.  My husband recently threw our son's radio down and busted it. When I told him this was the last straw, he became very upset.  We were on the way to church and he turned around, took me and our son home, made us get out and he went on alone.  When he came home, he said he wanted a "family meeting." He informed us he was through with us, handed me the mortgage bill which takes my whole paycheck and said pay it or let them foreclose.  I sold a little something I had to make the payment and when he found out, he said I could have borrowed the money from him and paid him back.  I have no money  now at all.  I had told someone before this I would furnish some refreshments for a youth group gathering and last night when I had it on the list he told me if I had told the woman I'd get it then I'd have to pay for it.  I told him I had no money and he said that was my fault. If I had't tried to control the house I wouldn't have to make the house payment.  He keeps asking me what is wrong but I don't have the words or courage yet to tell him.  I say "nothing" and he asks why my expression is like it is.  I told him finally last night I was sorry he didn't like the look I had on my face. He said, "see? there you go!"  How in the world am I to talk with this man?  He keeps me confused and tore up and I'm so tired. Please help me.

Tiffany

Hello Tiffany, I just realized that you're posting on an old show message board.

 

If you would like some daily attention to your situation....there is a current on going abuse message board here on Dr. Phil's site......just go to the list of message boards.......then find RELATIONSHIPS /  SEX      click there,        then on  "marriage".........click on it..........then find the "abuse" category.......click there and come on in.

 

Daily dialog and resources occur on abuse in relationships.

 

We welcome you and any other posters that would like to vent....or educate themselves.....anyone looking for support, kindness and answers.

 

See you there.

 

Take care.

 

I have lots to say about your husbands abuse of you and your son......he is abusing and manipulating you in many ways......Come on over to the abuse message board........there is daily activity there.

 

I'll watch for you.

 

Tiffany he is controlling and abusing you badly....please stop by and post this message.....if I could cut and paste I would put it over there......I just happened by this show board today....and caught your message.

 

We can help to explain things to you.

 

Stop by.....

 
May 3, 2007, 11:59 am CDT

Stalking Charges should be filed

Quote From: parent16

My son is being stalked and has been for 5 months since he tried to end a relationship.  She calls, harrasses him at his work on a dialy basis, 20 times or so is not uncommon, on his work phone, drives by his house, threatens him with making his life hell, and has publically displayed her lack of control on many occasions.  I would like advice on how to end this, we have ried everything.  He is physically sick, and emothionally being scarred by this evil girl.
If you havent got a restraining order do that first.  Followed by a police report.  I had to hire private investigators since my situation was on and offline.  Stalking is a crime in most states. California has strong stalking laws and has a bill in to make posting harrassing messages to message boards also illegal.  You can go to haltabuse.com and they may be able to help you. There is a national victims council that can also help.  Feel free to let me know if you need more information. I will do what I can to help pass it along!  God Bless
 
June 13, 2007, 12:45 pm CDT

Help

Quote From: subwaymom

i wish i would have known these signs years ago. my daughter is and has been in and out of an abusive relationship for 6 years now. these girls think they can change these monsters i worry everytime i know shes with him. i know the signs now and what to do to get it reported to the authorities,(wish i did 3 yrs ago). my daughter has endured bites on her arms, legs, chest and back to the point that you can see teeth marks in them. he has busted her teeth out by hitting her w/beer bottles, and some of her girlfriends have told me several times that he has grabbed her by her neck and slammed her into walls w/her feet dangling, there has been times it has taken 5 to 6 other people to pull him off of her. i fear for her life. she is now over 18 and nothing i can do, he also waited til she was of age before he started this abuse. i know he did that knowing she wouldnt press charges on him. i beg other moms to watch for and know this signs before it is to late for your daughter. do what u can to get her out. i have but they still need to make thier own decision. believe me it is the hardest thing ive done trying to get her out without ruining our relationship. dont let your daughter be a victim

My daugher is in deep trouble. All of the trouble signs that you list fit her to a "T".  I have had her in counseling and have warned her about his behavior. Her boyfriend is  also bi-polar with an anger issue and I have tried talking to his parents and they make excuses for his behavior and have tried to redirect the issue back onto me. She will be 18 in a couple of weeks and I am not sure I can do anything. That is just the short of it.

 

 

 
August 30, 2007, 8:57 am CDT

07/24 Teen Dating and Abuse

Something made me wonder about this story...

How did this worryed mother had access to her douther's boyfriend letters, I don't belive she showed her free will.

Even if the mother was very concerned about this boy, I think she still had no right to that privacy invasion, not to mention that absurd restraining order! Only a parent with no authority at all has to appeal to a court to make her child obey a simple order: "You will not see thet boy anymore"

 
January 14, 2008, 2:14 pm CST

My Daughter

My daughter who just turned 18 is in a relationship with a boy that shows signs that he may be an abuser.  He is extremely jealous.  Not just of other boys, but of her spending time with any one other than him including her spending time with her brothers or me.  He has grabber her arm once.  Slammed car doors a few times.  He got in her face on top of her before to the point that she had to kick him off of her.  He "wrestles" with her even after her asking him to stop.  I have shown her the signs of abuse posted on teen websites.  I have tried talking to her and cried many times because she makes excuse for him and says he will change or he is getting better.  He only did this or that once. I tell her to add up all the different one time incidents and you have multiple signs of abuse..... How do I help her to see him for what he is ??   She is not in love with him, I am sure of that.  She just wants to be in a relationship to have someone to do things with.  He did pressure her to have sex also.  She was very upset over this, but then choice to forgive him because he promises to do better.......
 
February 24, 2009, 5:26 am CST

TEEN DATING AND ABUSE

Quote From: dmmtfam

My heart really goes out to anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship.  I was also involved with a drug addict who was verbally and emotionally abusive as well as on the verge of being physically abusive.  The day a closet door went flying across the room was the day I left.  I was only 20 years old and had much more important things to do with my life than trying to "save" him from himself.  I thought that he would quit drinking for me, quit doing drugs for me and that he would eventually show me how much he loved me (he always said it so he had to mean it, right?).  Eventually I smartened up and left, I hope that any girl in that situation will find the courage to do the same.  Get out before it's too late.  Lucklily I found out I was pregnant with his child after I left or I just might have stayed.  Thankfully, it hurt his pride enough when I left that he hasn't come around to try and see my daughter.  Things do work out girls!  I moved on got married to a wonderful man 4 years ago and he and I are raising our daughter and son together with absolutely no contact from him what so ever.  I beg any young girl in a similar situation to find your courage and believe that there is something better waiting for you.  You deserve it.  I hope you find your happily ever after like I did. 
I just wanted to let you know that I am so proud of the decision that you made for yourself to get out of the dangerous situation that you were in.  I pray every day that my daughter opens her eyes and gets out of the situation that she's in. I am scared to death that she is going to end up marrying this guy. I have talked to her until I don't even know what else to say. Everyone in her family has tried to talk to her but it does no good...she says that she's in love and according to her he would never phyically abuse her....she has promised me that he has never physically abused her but I know that he has been verbally abusive.Her friends have told me that they've seen him push her up against her car and get in her face numerous times and one of her best friend's told me that my daughter told her about a time when he locked her in the bathroom when she was at his house and told her that she could come out when she learned how to act...she however says that none of this is true. He's had to be escorted out from the place that she works for yelling at her on two different occasions and has now been banned  from the property of her school because he got verbally abusive with the principal over a cell phone. She will be 18 next month and I am scared to death that she is going to end up either moving in with him or marrying him. I don't know what to do anymore...I can't sleep, my stomach is constantly upset and my husband is dealing with the same thing. I'm trying to reach out to as many people as I can at this point..I don't know what else to do. So any advice would be very much appreciated.
 
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