Topic : 08/02 "I Love Myself!"

Just for the record, I was being sarcastic to a user who empathized with Shannon's parents. 

I think they are both selfish and I hope Shannon and her blood sister get out of this together. That step-mom is something else. 

This is the first time I have ever logged on to DR.Phil.com, but I had to. I am a stepmother of two boys, and I know it is really hard to have that tittle. Anyway -- That lady was a b**ch, and the father needs to tell her to leave. Who is she to decided what if anything should happen with his children. Even if Shanon is a demon child (not sating she is) it is not that ladies place to say or do anything. One more thing how can you not yell, and call people names when they act like that. The stepmother said she wanted respect, well you have to show it and give it to get it. If you lie to your child you are saying it is okay to lie. Also why does the stepmother care if she is failing in school, did she not say that she basically wish the girl was dead? I think of myself as a clam person, but I really want to set that lady straight!!!!  

"The Evil Stepmother"  that is exactly how I would describe Hilary.  My emotions were in an uproar watching todays episode.  It is a disgrace how Robert abandoned his own daughter, now matter how poorly she behaved.  The fact that these two parents wont step up to the plate and take any blame or responsiblity.  It is hard enough being a teenager and parents battle daily with their "own" children.  It amazes me how men can get remarried after the death of a spouse and move on with life and leave it to their new wife to take over.  Robert should have put his children first and then Hilary and if Hilary didn't like it he should have given her the boot!  I lost my father at a very young age and Shannon's behavior is nothing compared to how I was.  My mother remarried a man whom took me years to call him "DAD" and he was more loving and supportive towards me no matter what I did (including calling the police on him when he punished me).  Even when they had their own "biological" child he did not treat me or my sister from my dad any differently then he did his own flesh and blood.  Today I am happily married for 9 years with 2 kids and a third on its way.  I have been successful in the business world and it took me a few years to get my grades up from school, but I was fortunate to have love and understanding that every teenage girl needs. I know today that I would be where I was if it were not for my "stepdad" and his love and support! 

Robert and Hilary want respect!!  Respect is earned!  Maybe if they owned up to their mistakes and tried to understand what was going on through Shannon's head she would simmer down and possibly make more of an effort to become more harmonious, instead of pointing the finger and blaming her for everything.  For Hilary to say on national TV that she considers one child her daughter and not the other.  No biological mother in their right mind would ever say that.  There is something that is called unconditional love and believe me if you ask my mother today she will contest for my behavior.  Both my sisters were well behaved children compared to me, but I was never loved or treated any differently!  I certainly didn't miss out on any family vacations. 

I really hope for Shannon's sake that Dr. Phil got through to these people.  Especially Robert, to abandon his own child for over a year because his new wife told him to is dispicable considering she wasn't doing drugs, drinking, etc.  and on top of that to let Hilary's own "biological" daughter take over her room!!!  I can go on all night at how outraged I am!  My skin is crawling from disgust!  I don't blame Shannon one bit for her behavior.  I believe what goes around comes around!  Hilary, I am sure that Shannon wouldn't shed a tear over your death either and believe me  you'll go first!!! 

I had to live next door to my best friend, whose daughter is JUST like Shannon. She made all our lives a LIVING HELL!! 

I don't want to hear all the boo hooing about poor Shannon. I and a million other people have had MUCH worse lives and didn't turn out like the spoiled brat that Shannon is!!! 

I am SICK TO DEATH with all the enabling/coddling/explaining away of what is simply POOR CHARACTER! Even Dr Phil said she doesn't have NPD! 

If Shannon is old enough to be in college, she's old enough to live on her own! If she comes to their house and pours her poison on others THOW HER OUT!!! She'll get the hint! 

NO ONE should have to tolerate ABUSE and be made to feel it's their fault. That's BLAMING THE VICTIMS!! 

I'm glad the father said that, of course she's great at other peoples house. Let me tell you, if she stayed long enough she would have poured her poison out on them, too! GUARANTEED!!!!! 

I wouldn't have even ASKED to use her room. The last I saw the OWNERS OF THE HOUSE have a say as to what is done with their room. I would have throw her AND her stuff on the curb. I'm willing to bet she would straighten up REAL QUICK! 

You dropped the ball on this one, Dr Phil!! Even you have advised others to strip their kids of EVERYTHING and make them earn it back and now you're reneging???? 

Very well said! All that's left.... is to add a few links, lol.  

narcissism 101 Index  

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) : How to Recognize a Narcissist  

What Makes Narcissists Tick  

Just some helpful information for anyone interested.  

For people who think they need additional support.... there are many great NPD forums, full of caring, supportive, and understanding individuals. All you need to do is google Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  

Take care and God bless.  

Wow!  Hilary I don't know if you will read these messages but you might get a real wake-up call if you do.  I am a step-mother and I am living the role of mother.  It is not my place to correct these kids and they are younger than Shannon was when you first came into her life.  It is absolutely not your place to interfere.  The fact that you speak for Shannon's dad and interfere in their relationship goes to your motive.  It seems that you are determined to add to the wicked stepmother image.  It is hard enough for step moms without a real life wicked step mom sending the children to the "forest" to be eaten by witches.  If Shannon's dad had ever really loved her (verb) then he might have read nursery tales and you wouldn't be in the picture now.  He is a simpleton and you are a witch...and remember how the witch always ends up?  Well...Shannon will be okay, but one day you will get old ...excuse me...older.   And you will need kindness.  Shannon having been treated with such meanness may end up being the one to be kind to you...you just never know.  You need to get that Shannon DOES NOT deserve the treatment she has received and you must apologize humbly, and step out of her life completely so she can get "well."  You are really the one who is manipulative and cruel and her dad is woven in your sick spell....I pray to God that he wakes up and sends you  back to the forest. 

Dad - really you are handsome but stupid when it comes to women.  Is Hilary the best you could do?  Were you so lonely and overwhelmed with two daughters that you believed the line of bull you were being fed?  There are lots of women out there, and I urge you to toss the bad one (Hilary) back!  Get to know your daughters intimately and be thankful that you have them.  Do not allow anymore negative comments about Shannon until you have therapy.  Maybe the therapist will ask you why it is okay to treat her the way you do.  She is different not bad.  YOur behavior is more reprehensible...just because you can't deal with something you find an "easy" solution.  YOU need help before you judge anyone...and Hilary is crippling your judgement...she is a vixen and you are under a spell...and you don't need to be. 

Shannon - things with your family may never get better until you make the choice to send them packing.  They were wrong to treat you that way andyou are naturally frustrated and angry and hurt.  The problem is I really do know that they may not ever change and you could bein your forties and still trying to make them "love" you.  They are incapable of understanding that you are special and in a bad situation for you.  Ask them if they will help you move out and be independent...(HIM...not that thing...Hilary).  If not, youwill find that there are options for you anyway.  Go and be special and take care of yourself.  You have a wonderful life ahead of you and you have been a shown a way to offer compassion....and no one has suffered more than Jesus and he has compassion for us still.