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Topic : 08/02 "I Love Myself!"

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Created on : Thursday, April 13, 2006, 01:18:17 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/20/06) Do you know someone who craves attention so badly that he or she will do anything to get it? One family believes their loved one is a master manipulator and her ways are causing a major conflict in the household. Hilary claims she wouldn’t shed a tear if her stepdaughter, Shannon, died tomorrow. She calls Shannon a narcissist and says she will lie, fight and cuss just to be noticed. Shannon feels like a scapegoat, and thinks her stepmother is simply out to get her. When Shannon was younger, her biological mom died, and now she believes Hilary has turned her father and sister against her. Is Shannon’s behavior all an act, or do her father and stepmother need to change how they deal with her? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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lettie
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March 28, 2007, 9:09 pm PDT

Shannon and her family.

I just watched a re- run of the show "I Love Myself" and was wondering how Shannon and her family were going?  Did they respond to help?  Has there been a follow up show? 

 
 
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madorik
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September 10, 2007, 6:35 pm PDT

Have some compassion

Quote From: killerb255

Well, I'll go ahead and dissect this one:

 

i abserlotly hate my step father & always take it out on my younger brother to get my mothers attention. I dont like being this way but its not what i chose for myself i am just like that

 

I'm calling BS on this one. 

 

That's an excuse.  Unless you have some kind of neurological disorder like ADD/ADHD, an autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, ODD, conduct disorder, or something else of that sort, you are choosing your behavior. 


I used anger to get attention as well when I was in my teens.  More info:

http://www.drphil.com/messageboard/topic/1212

 

Either way, I chose my actions and I chose the consequences to that behavior. 

 

If you have issues with attention, then you need to think about whether or not you really like yourself.  Ask yourself:

 

1) Why do I hate my step-father?  Is he trying to replace my real father?  Am I angry at my real father, but taking it out on him?  Is Mom paying too much attention to him and not enough attention to us?  Or is it only me that I'm concerned with, as opposed to us?

 

2) What are my good qualities?  What am I good at?  What do I like to do?  What do I have to offer to the people around me?

 

3) Am I really mad at my brother?  Or am I mad at myself, but am taking it out on him?  (when you have an undesirable quality about yourself, but instead, blame someone else for it, that's called projection)

 

However, on some level, you do seem to realize that what you're doing is wrong, considering that you said that you need to stop before you actually get yourself killed.

 

If you really do feel that your actions may threaten your life, you need to talk to a counselor: school counselor, therapist, somebody.

 I am reading this young woman's confession about her anger at her step father.  Let's take a step back a minute before you start attacking her.  Have some compassion for what is making her angry.  When a person is hurt and is hurting someone else as a consequence, showing warmth and understanding goes a long way to helping them.
 
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christab
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October 31, 2007, 9:57 am PDT

you think so??

Quote From: gem714

 

"Regardless, of what you think about Hillary, her husband adores her and she is who he answers to now. " 

 

He "answers to her now"...hmmm..... sounds like an extremely dysfunctional dynamic to me. 

 

 

Why is that dysfunctional???  That's how it is.  What planet are you from???
 
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christab
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January 22, 2008, 7:27 pm PST

FYI

Quote From: nasale

 This woman is the epitome  of every horror story out there about  step parents. This woman should never be allowed to say one word more about this girl, she should give her BACK HER ROOM and  the father is spineless and is looking out for HIS rear first. I feel very sorry for this girl and she really has been given load of crap to deal with. She is obviously the family scapegoat. SHAME ON HER DAD!!!!!!
Shannon was around 20 years old when this show aired.  Why should she be entitled to a room in her parents home?  Aren't kids, especially naughty ones, sopposed to move out at 18?
 
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newyawkah
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January 28, 2008, 12:28 pm PST

So there!!

Quote From: doehunt

You poor thing. You need therapy yourself. And god help your children.

My children?

 

My daughter is an Audie Murphy soldier in the US Army, lives on her own successfully and is ready to go to Nursing school with her GI Bill. She's respectful and well adjusted--which she attributes to me. All her friends absolutely ADORE me.

 

My son has successfully lived on his own since right after he graduated hs with a full-time job, part time job and an online business. I homeschooled him and he's a handsome, gracious, well adjusted and has many friends who absolutely ADORE me. He's his mother's son.

 

And, strange as it may seem to you, everyone I work with love me and so do all the patients I work with.

 

Hope you're not too disappointed  :-)
 
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newyawkah
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January 28, 2008, 12:36 pm PST

Actually...

Quote From: lotofshoes

Who is the attention seeker here......me, me, me, my, my, my  I,I,I seems YOU need a little help of your own....!!!! I pray you don't ever have a child to treat this way!!!!!

Sorry to disappoint you as well...

 

My daughter is an Audie Murphy soldier in the US Army. She has successfully lived on her own since she graduated. She's loving, well-adjusted and respectful, which she attributes to me. She is now going to Nursing school with her GI bill. Growing up all her friends came to me b/c their parents didn't understand them. They still adore me and keep in regular touch with me.

 

My son has lived successfully on his own since almost right after hs. He has a full time job, part time job and online business. He's handsome, well adjusted and his mother's son. All his friends absolutely adore me.

 

The other children in my direct family love me as well and my niece has told me that I treated her better than her own mother ever did. And her children adore me as well.

 

So there....:-)
 
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newyawkah
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January 28, 2008, 12:38 pm PST

Soooo...

Quote From: killerb255

  

If Shannon is old enough to be in college, she's old enough to live on her own! If she comes to their house and pours her poison on others THOW HER OUT!!! She'll get the hint!  

  

She's actually living with someone else and she's actually behaving herself.   

   

NO ONE should have to tolerate ABUSE and be made to feel it's their fault. That's BLAMING THE VICTIMS!!  

  

...which the step-mother, herself, could very well be doing: blaming the victim for her own NPD! 

 

... Dr Phil was wrong when he said Shannon didn't have NPD? And I thought his training made him an expert....

 

Thanks for clarifying that!
 
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angel974
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February 3, 2008, 1:26 am PST

no one sees what i see?

does no one see what i see?
ive known children who have taken drugs, been mean to their parents, and you know what, they grow out of it. shes a very young girl who is probably the target of her family.
i know personally how someone can target you and you react with anger. what else would you react with? im shocked at this show. it made me just so sad, that a child is treated like this in her own family and people blame her. i personally see her as a girl who is growing up...she doesnt do drugs, she doesnt sleep around. and shes sweet, and all of a sudden at home shes angry? i see that as her familys fault. if someone always attacked you, what would you do? defend yourself!

her family said they are relieved when her car is not in the driveway...one girl can cause that much trouble? my brother snuck out at night and smoked pot..yet hes a lawyer now.  he was a 16 year old boy growing up...but if people attacked him during that time, he would have strayed even further and noone thought he was a terrible person cause he did some bad things.

her stepmother seems like the problem, when dr. phil was praising her, she had to add something bad about this girl. couldnt it be she is just jealous of her step daugher? couldnt it be that simple? i hope that girl finds someone to love her and get out of a terrible situation.

a terrible person is someone who says 'i wouldnt cry if you died' thats a terrible person...a person who does bad things is just making mistakes. And a father and mother who would say this about their child is what i find terrible. no matter how horrible a child is, i would think their parents would love them and not say im relieved to not see their car in the drive way unless the said child is setting the house on fire everyday.

these parents should be ashamed of themself, they are not even interested in helping shannon, they just want someone to attack, and they are doing that.
 
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angel974
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February 3, 2008, 1:29 am PST

08/02 "I Love Myself!"

Quote From: christab

Shannon was around 20 years old when this show aired.  Why should she be entitled to a room in her parents home?  Aren't kids, especially naughty ones, sopposed to move out at 18?
my brothers were 21 and they could come home anytime, cause thats their family....what else is a family? only in america do i see parents kick out their kids at 18. in other countries, yes they want their children to get jobs and be responsible, but if a family doesn't protect you who will? thats sad...and how is she so terrible? she screams? so what? ive seen 10x worse and their families love them, thats how they change, and say she is bad *i dont think she is..* do you changed someone with hate? no if they really love her, they would be hugging her and saying i love you so much, please stop..not 'i wouldnt cry if you died' shame on that dad and her entire family. and i bet her biological mother would kill her step mother.
 
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angel974
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February 3, 2008, 1:37 am PST

08/02 "I Love Myself!"

Quote From: christab

Everybody always blames the stepmother.  I think Shannon is the one with the problem.  Why would she need a room in her parents house?  She's twenty!!!  Everything doesn't revolve around her!!!  And about the stepmom taking down the pictures of Shannon's mother, you bet!!  I don't want pictures of my husbands ex-wife all over my house either.  That kid should put her mothers pictures up in her own house.

 

And why shouldn't the father move on?!?!?  Should he mourn his late wifes memory for the rest of his life and never have happiness again in his life.  Regardless, of what you think about Hillary, her husband adores her and she is who he answers to now.  Not his daughhter.

Everbody has problems, Shannon!!  Buck up and grow up!  Stop being a whiner.

wow...you seem like a cold hearted person. if you had a mother, how would you feel if you couldnt put up her picture after she has passed on..? it seems you were abused in some way or form..because you dont seem to have a heart.
 
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